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Any brides from the UK

char79uk
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roxmysockz

roxmysockz

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Originally Posted by Woodsylou View Post
Hey ladies

i agree, there are many things you could be doing. are you going to make your stationery or buy it? you might want to start looking at that. also thinking of themes, looking at things you'd want as centrepieces/placecards/favours which are easily transportable (as you'll be packing everything) that kind of thing! :) good luck!

i need some advice from you girls. i have a friend, we were best friends for about 6 years. we used to go on holiday together all the time (barbados twice a year) and because we're so close i know how she works, i know what she earns etc etc.

when i got engaged and booked Mexico she said her and her boyf would only be able to come for a week, because of cost. i TOTALLY understand that, it's not cheap. then about a week later she said only she would come, because her boyf's job doesn't have paid leave etc. totally understand. then a little bit later she said they couldnt' come at all because they were planning on trying for a baby in late 2010 and they needed to save money. i was a little bit put out, but what can you do. anyway,since then the boyf has got a new job, 5 weeks paid leave etc and a payrise. she has also had a promotion and a £5k payrise and an off the cuff £3k bonus too. (I know all this, because she's not shy in telling people she earns £58k a year etc etc) . But even so, they haev never mentioned coming to the wedding (oh, she's also a bridesmaid!!)

on her facebook last week it said 'Friend A is looking at holidays in the Dominican Republic, anyone been?' so i was a bit pee'd off to say the least. but i didn't say anything. she sent me an email linking me to a hotel in dom rep asking me what i think!!! what could i say?! i said it looks nice and she said that if she could afford our wedding she'd do that but she can't. basically she's making the excuse that the Moon Palace is a lot more expensive, which im sure it is, but she doesn't have to stay there! a few of our friends are staying at other, cheaper resorts and coming in for a day or two.

last night her status said 'Friend A is considering the Sandals resort in Cuba, anyone been?'

now every time i read it i feel like ive been kicked in the stomach. lots of people text me last night saying 'omg have you seen friend a's status?' so i know im not alone in thinking it's out of order.

i don't know how to 'get over it' because i don't want it to bother me. i don't want her to come to my wedding now anyway, she's clearly not the friend i thought she was. but it still hurts every time i see it.

i don't expect any of you to make it better, but any advice?!
OMG I totally agree with what some of the other girls have said perhaps it could be jealously causing this girl to be like this. I would be totally pissed too. I would probably even say its such a shame you cant make the wedding on one of the status' she posts!

It is true she isnt a true friend to make up crap excuses like that then rub your nose in it!

Totally understand what your talking about my FI's brother tried to say they couldnt afford ours when they've already been on 2 holidays (in the space of 4 months) and wanted to buy a new house worth a hell of alot more than the current one and earn prob 75k between him and his wife. Oh and constantly in designer clothes/bags/shoes!!!

Thing that tends to hurt the most is the people that normally do these things are the ones you'd jump through hoops for to attend theirs!
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char79uk

char79uk

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Hi Ladies, I haven't been on here for a while so have had so much to catch up on.

 

Things have been really bad for me the last month or so, we started looking into having the wedding over here because certain family members said that they couldn't make it...my sister being one of them, she has 4 children aged 7yrs, 3yrs, 1yr and a 3 month old baby, she baiscally told me that she wouldn't be able to come to the wedding which made me cry and so I decided to look into having it in England (even though I didn't want to). I've tried every which way to see if we could afford to have it over here but both FI and my family is so huge it would be impossible to keep within budget.

 

It has really been depressing me and I have been crying non stop for about 1 month now. Yesterday my mum sat me down and said that it is our day and I need to stop trying to please people, if my sister and whoever else can't make it its tough as long as me, FI and my daughter are there who else do we need...so I spoke to FI and he said that he was a bit annoyed with my sister anyway because she didn't even say she would try and see if she could save the money she just outright said no they can't come...anyway to cut a long story short we have decided to stop trying to accommodate everybody else and put ourselves first for a change, so Mexico here we come :) just got to tell my sister now!!!

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char79uk

char79uk

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i've also had to change my wedding date to July 2012 as I totally forgot that my daughter will be sitting A Level exams sometime in May or June and the timetable won't be published before we book so thought it best to be safe and book in July. Does anybody know if the weather is really rainy in July??

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michelle2011

michelle2011

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Originally Posted by char79uk View Post
Hi Ladies, I haven't been on here for a while so have had so much to catch up on.

Things have been really bad for me the last month or so, we started looking into having the wedding over here because certain family members said that they couldn't make it...my sister being one of them, she has 4 children aged 7yrs, 3yrs, 1yr and a 3 month old baby, she baiscally told me that she wouldn't be able to come to the wedding which made me cry and so I decided to look into having it in England (even though I didn't want to). I've tried every which way to see if we could afford to have it over here but both FI and my family is so huge it would be impossible to keep within budget.

It has really been depressing me and I have been crying non stop for about 1 month now. Yesterday my mum sat me down and said that it is our day and I need to stop trying to please people, if my sister and whoever else can't make it its tough as long as me, FI and my daughter are there who else do we need...so I spoke to FI and he said that he was a bit annoyed with my sister anyway because she didn't even say she would try and see if she could save the money she just outright said no they can't come...anyway to cut a long story short we have decided to stop trying to accommodate everybody else and put ourselves first for a change, so Mexico here we come :) just got to tell my sister now!!!
Oh it's such a shame us girls are having to have this over OUR weddings. All these tears we have shed! It's so upsetting. I couldn't stop crying when my dad said he wasn't coming but to be honest it does get easier once you accept the fact they wont be there as upsetting as it is. Your mum is right it's your day and about you and what you want. DONT think of anyone else from now just think of the beautiful wedding you are going to have in Mexico!!

It will all come good in the end and those that CHOOSE not to attend our weddings are the losers! xx
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char79uk

char79uk

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Hi Michelle

 

Thanks, I know you're right I do need to put us first it is our day after all...just don't like upsetting people and I know my sister is going to feel left out.

 

Anyway so much to cathc up on, how is everything going with you?

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Nicyx

Nicyx

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I know how you girls feel, originally we had about 22 people "coming" to the wedding, at the mo it looks like its Us, My Fi's sis, hubby and baby.... thats it. My parents dont know if they can come now... i knew my sister would'nt be able to afford all along, a few of my friends have dropped out, FI's "bestman" dosent know if he can come... FI's parents are not coming, i wouldnt mind but we gave EVERYBODY and idea of price working off 2010 prices, and we decided in May 2009 the we were getting married in May 2011 and told EVERYONE, so i think they had plenty of time to save. It bugs me that everyone was "wouldnt miss it for the world" and now here we are and they are missing it.

 

Only once has it crossed my mind to do a wedding here and that was for a split second before i told myself "hey this is OUR wedding" as selfish as it sounds but were not getting married for anyone else, dont get me wrong i would love to have every single friend and family member at our wedding but its just not going to be that way... We said from day 1 we were going to get married abroad and we got engaged in Nov 2001 so it not like it was a last min decision.

 

Most people have me feel so selfish that were not getting married here, but if we changed out plans (we did compromise on hotels though we wanted an AO resort, not coz we dont like kids but just LOVED the resort, we would have picked there if it was a family hotel, we picked before we knew FI's sis was pregnant) we would be doing it for everyone else and i know we wouldnt enjoy "our" day so we have stuck with our guns on this and know we are going to have the most magical day anyway.

 

As others have said its nice to know were not on our own :-) As much as it hurts (and it really does hurt) we have to remember this is about us.

 

Same we all cant come to each others wedding... it would be full of support then :-)

 

Sorry for the rant....

 

P.S. So so close to your wedding, so excited for you :-)

 

Cant wait for "our" thread to start getting married......

 

xo

 

xox

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michelle2011

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Originally Posted by char79uk View Post
Hi Michelle

Thanks, I know you're right I do need to put us first it is our day after all...just don't like upsetting people and I know my sister is going to feel left out.

Anyway so much to cathc up on, how is everything going with you?
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Originally Posted by Nicyx View Post
I know how you girls feel, originally we had about 22 people "coming" to the wedding, at the mo it looks like its Us, My Fi's sis, hubby and baby.... thats it. My parents dont know if they can come now... i knew my sister would'nt be able to afford all along, a few of my friends have dropped out, FI's "bestman" dosent know if he can come... FI's parents are not coming, i wouldnt mind but we gave EVERYBODY and idea of price working off 2010 prices, and we decided in May 2009 the we were getting married in May 2011 and told EVERYONE, so i think they had plenty of time to save. It bugs me that everyone was "wouldnt miss it for the world" and now here we are and they are missing it.

Only once has it crossed my mind to do a wedding here and that was for a split second before i told myself "hey this is OUR wedding" as selfish as it sounds but were not getting married for anyone else, dont get me wrong i would love to have every single friend and family member at our wedding but its just not going to be that way... We said from day 1 we were going to get married abroad and we got engaged in Nov 2001 so it not like it was a last min decision.

Most people have me feel so selfish that were not getting married here, but if we changed out plans (we did compromise on hotels though we wanted an AO resort, not coz we dont like kids but just LOVED the resort, we would have picked there if it was a family hotel, we picked before we knew FI's sis was pregnant) we would be doing it for everyone else and i know we wouldnt enjoy "our" day so we have stuck with our guns on this and know we are going to have the most magical day anyway.

As others have said its nice to know were not on our own :-) As much as it hurts (and it really does hurt) we have to remember this is about us.

Same we all cant come to each others wedding... it would be full of support then :-)

Sorry for the rant....

P.S. So so close to your wedding, so excited for you :-)

Cant wait for "our" thread to start getting married......

xo

xox
It is really hard but what dont brake us makes us stronger. You will feel upset for a while and prob on the day but i'm sure all the happiness will over take those feelings. It's whos going who matters and is important. I am thankful i have the ppl coming who have booked even though two of the most important ppl to us have pulled out... Other than that we are getting on well... 11 months to go, whoop whoop!!

Nicy i feel for ya hun and you vent away whenever you like. We are all here to listen and most of us totally understand how the other feel so it's a good place to get things off our chest. It does make me mad when ppl have said they wouldn't miss it for the world and then drop out. Your like me and take it all on board. Now when ppl show an interest i take it with a pinch of salt cos we've been so let down. shame really....

But girls we are doing the right thing for us and we will have gorgeous weddings and i cant wait to see ALL your photos and hear all about them!

Nicy - 7lb weight loss!!! Well done you!!! xxx
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Nicyx

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It is really hard but what dont brake us makes us stronger. You will feel upset for a while and prob on the day but i'm sure all the happiness will over take those feelings. It's whos going who matters and is important. I am thankful i have the ppl coming who have booked even though two of the most important ppl to us have pulled out... Other than that we are getting on well... 11 months to go, whoop whoop!!

Nicy i feel for ya hun and you vent away whenever you like. We are all here to listen and most of us totally understand how the other feel so it's a good place to get things off our chest. It does make me mad when ppl have said they wouldn't miss it for the world and then drop out. Your like me and take it all on board. Now when ppl show an interest i take it with a pinch of salt cos we've been so let down. shame really....

But girls we are doing the right thing for us and we will have gorgeous weddings and i cant wait to see ALL your photos and hear all about them!

Nicy - 7lb weight loss!!! Well done you!!! xxx
Thanks Michelle :-) It is nice to know i can come on here and have you lovely's to talk to, i think id go insane if i didnt!! & like you i cant wait to see ALL the pix and hear about it, its so bloody exciting... cheer2.gif

Thanks for the well done... im so proud of myself sticking to my healthy eating and exercise, never thought i could be arsed but i just close my eyes and think of wedding dress... and think its only half an hour a night!!! (oh and FI's sis, she has such a lovely figure im nervous about being in a bikini next to her!!! Haha)

Will be giving the healthy eating a miss on Sat though as were off out as its my birthday on tues 6th so were celebrating this weekend :-) Ive forgot what alcohol tastes like it feels that long!! LOL!
How are you getting on with your exercise etc?

xox
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