Long Distance Relationships - Some thoughts

Hey Nicola, thanks so much for the words of wisdom from a former LDR. It is difficult and I totally hear you about relying on work and commitment schedules to see each other. But as you say. In the end it is worth it cause if you truly love each other and work at it, it will all come about.

My hubby & I had a long distance relationship for 2 years when we first started dating. He lived about 3 hours away. We knew it would be tough but learned so much about each other talking on the phone and every weekend he would either drive up or I would drive down to see him so we made it work but in the end we have such good communication. Like Meagan we have been together for 5 years and going on 3 months married!

It's good to see other LDR's and how they worked out. But unlike most you ladies I dont get to see my FI and actually it will be going on a year because we stay in different counrties. We decided to hold off on the visiting this past year when we decided to get married but it seems that even though our relationship is basically over the phone that we have grown closer. We just have a couple of months left but I kno whtat everything will work out and we will have great marriages although it might be a little more challenging than the coules who are together on a daily basis.

You are definitely correct. Luckily I get to see my FI every 6-8 weeks or so. He is originally from NJ also but moved to TX for work (just before we started dating). But he has to come back to NJ every 4-6 (or sometimes 6- weeks for his military commitments. So even though we only get to see each other at night after his drills, it's still something.

@ Sax Lady You guys will definitely make it through. Just a thought, did you guys apply for a fiance visa so that he could be here with you until you get married? You have 90 days to be married after the visa is issued. I bet you've covered all the processes, but just thought I would ask.

I was in an LDR for about 15 months. I lived on the east coast, and he lived on the west coast. It was so incredibly hard, we talked on the phone almost everyday, we e-mailed lots, but we also did get into more intense arguments. Part of that was the lack of body language. Something said one way would be interpreted another way, and I couldn't read his body language and he couldn't read mine.

I have to say that we are much closer as a couple and much more intune with each other now. our verbal cues are much stronger, and we can understand each other much more intimately.

So for anyone who is in an LDR, times will be tough, there is no doubt! But everything always works itself out!

AishaB,

We looked at the fianace visa and actually we went back and forth for awhile because he wanted to do it and I didnt only because I told him in the long run it would be easier to file for him as a relative/husband. Because to me all though he would be here it is more work because you have to do that paperwork (fianace visa) and then the same paperwork I will be doing we would have to still do he would just be here. I said well be been apart this long we can stand a little longer. So although its hard I know in the long run this is probably better for us. THe only thing that sucks is after the wedding he wont come back with us but we will be ok.

We also started out with a LDR and dated long distance for over 2 years until FI moved here full time. He lived about a 5 hour drive away in Michigan, and we only got to see each other about once every 4 to 6 weeks. It was so hard in the beginning but like others have said, I think it made us closer. We spent hours on the phone, wrote tons of emails and letters and truly appreciated every minute that we were together. Now that we've been together so long, there are days were I wish we were still in a LDR so I could have more time to myself, J/K

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Originally Posted by *Meagan* My DH and I did long distance for 3.5 years.. across the country!!!! It was extremely hard and looking back I have no clue how we did it .. but we did. and here we are married together over 5 years and married 5 months next week! its crazy but LDR are way harder than any other relationship and COMMUNICATION IS KEY!

Quote:

Originally Posted by fallfromgrace I was in an LDR for about 15 months. I lived on the east coast, and he lived on the west coast. It was so incredibly hard, we talked on the phone almost everyday, we e-mailed lots, but we also did get into more intense arguments. Part of that was the lack of body language. Something said one way would be interpreted another way, and I couldn't read his body language and he couldn't read mine.   I have to say that we are much closer as a couple and much more intune with each other now. our verbal cues are much stronger, and we can understand each other much more intimately.   So for anyone who is in an LDR, times will be tough, there is no doubt! But everything always works itself out!