Strippers at Bachelor Party?

My honest opinion about my Fiance and his bachelor party is, I could care less if they go to a strip club or have a stripper for his bachelor party (it's in vegas...so if anything it will be a strip joint). The bottom line is that I trust him completely and know he's not going to touch another girl. Also, I know my fiance...there's no way he's going to pay for something elsewhere that he can get for free at home.

echo, that is tough and i hope you guys work things out. i am pretty sure your FI learned his lesson and will never do that again. you should focus on your wedding and you're marrying your best friend!! i think you definitely need to talk about it with your FI again or you'll slowly resent him for what happened. it might take some time but just know that guys are guys...sometimes they can get stupid and don't think about consequences. your FI didn't mean to hurt you, he was just being a guy. he loves you so let's keep that in mind. you guys will have a wonderful wedding!!

 

i just talked to FI's cousin's fiance about this whole thing. She told me that she's not okay with it but what can we do? she said he asked her to help find a stripper so she is going to start calling agencies and to make sure its a classy, not a trashy agency. i told her i don't think it would matter if money is involved. like my friend said, its purely depends on the girl. oh well, if anything, i have many eyes at his party anyways. my sorority sister's husband will be there and other mutual friends' bf/husbands. i'm just going to move on and let FI know that if he is still having one then i am going to have one. my MOH said they're not getting me one based on my wishes so if he still gets one then i'll get one. simple like that.

thanks Di! FI and I are getting through things a lot better now than we were a few weeks ago when it all happened, and you're right that he's most definitely learned his lesson. The issue I have right now is all the other guys that were there (every single one is a mutual friend and in committed relationships!) and it'll just be a matter of time to be able to forgive them again. I think one of the parts that bugs me the most is one of the guys still hasn't bothered talking to me or even tried to apologize for (accidentally?!?!) hurting my feelings - and he's in our wedding party!!!!! Basically FI is the one who's had all the contact with him and I hate to admit that I'm stubborn enough not to bother talking to this guy unless he comes to me first. And that includes going right up to and through the wedding. It should be interesting since his wife and I are friends and I talked to her about all this and we agreed to keep my issues with her husband separate from our friendship as much as possible.

 

Stupid, stupid actions with difficult consequences. I just don't need them!

Oh Diana, I understand. FI is horrible with peer pressure and that is what is so upsetting. He doesnt want the stripper bach party, but his co-worker wants to FI's groomsmen's numbers to set something up (he's not even in wedding party!) I also know that none of our friend's wives will be cool with it either (well, except for the one that actually IS a stripper lol). Why is marriage and love synonymous with one last temptation and other women? dont get it....

I understand what you're going through - and I totally get why you are upset. My FI's bachelor party is this weekend in Vegas...I am a bit apprehensive, even though I know he's more excited about the casinos and shopping/nice weather than the Strippers of clubs - it's still hard to deal with when you're not there and you don't know everything that's going on. His friends almost like to bug me about getting a lap dance, I feel like if I tell them I really don't want him to have one it won't make any difference and will just make me look like an idiot. I am sure lap dances are sexy and all that (hopefully she's not very attractive lol), but really - I know I'm sexy and the one that he wants forever. I am sure it'll be a little tough to hear about, but like you I would rather know everything that goes on.
It's over now - you have told him where you stand, and now you can move on - just try to focus on your relationship and your upcoming wedding. I'm glad I'll have a little time to decompress before between his bachelor party and the wedding.
The thing that gets me is that he always says he couldn't care less about whether or not I have a bachelorette party with a male stripper (which I DON"T want btw) - it's just not the same, why can't they be as jealous as we are lol??

Haha probably because they know we don't think like men.

 

So talked to FI last night about it and i made my feelings clear and for him to let me know if he is going to get one so I can have one since its only fair. As for now, we are not going to have any strippers at our parties. He told his cousin to nix that idea. We'll see about that in a month! He is having his a week before our wedding. He better not tell me "oh by the way, i had a stripper at the party"...haha

Di - I'm glad to hear that you talked with FI about this last night and let him know straight how out you feel about the situation. I really do think it'll save a lot of potential for headaches and misunderstandings down the road, especially being one week before your wedding.

 

sjmacphe - I totally agree that sometimes I wish FI was as jealous as I am! I have never really been a jealous or possessive girlfriend but this is the one relationship where I most definitely am! It would just be nice if he got as nervous and uneasy about the thought of some other guy (ie. male stripper) giving me a lap dance or something as I get at the thought about him.

My heart goes out to you ladies. It is insane for me to think that any boy that is soon to marry could shake a foundation of trust and risk jeopardizing a marriage all for something that most would even say means nothing.

 

Takes deep breath – I don’t mean to offend anyone, but…

 

What the hell? Since when do intelligent, beautiful, amazing girls sit around and question their own confidence level for expecting / asking their soon to be husbands to not cheat on them as part of celebratory festivities marking their nuptials. I get that different individuals, male or female have a different definition of cheating. If for you it’s seeing stuff online, seeing it live at a club, whatever it is, then damn straight they shouldn’t be doing it to celebrate an upcoming wedding. Since when is it acceptable for your partner in life to cross that line and chalk it up as ‘boys will be boys’ or ‘right of passage’.

 

Dear FH is actually away tonight, as he is having his bachelor weekend and will be back tomorrow. We definitely had talked prior to his departure what I thought was ok and not, and I can’t wait to see him in some 10 hours!!! And yes I will be asking him what all went down.

Just as an update, as expected dear soon to be hubby was fantastic on his weekend away, I feel so lucky for him to show me just why I love him all the time!