Favours Etiquette

I have a delema in regards to favours at our wedding. We are getting married in Cuba and my FI would like to give our guests cigars. I'm totally ok with that but I would also like to give a donation to the cancer society. I lost my father in 2008 to lung cancer but think that these 2 conflict with eachother. What do you guys think

Hmmm... ya, if I had lost my father to lung cancer I don't think I would be ok with giving cigars.... is your FI stuck on that idea? I know cigars aren't an every day thing, but they are still very harmful and I personally wouldn't really want them at my wedding.

It may seem very conflicting to your guests to see cigars and a donation to the cancer society side by side...

That's just my 2 cents. (Sorry, I am the WORST ex-smoker you'll ever meet)

I concur with amygirl1169 the ideas are not compatable. I also wonder just how many of your guests would actually use/appreciate a cigar? And for those who do use them, you'd be contributing to their own cancer risk. A mixed message indeed.

I like your idea of the donation to a Cancer Society. You could include a nice note to your guests explaining that while cigars are a tradition in Cuba, you are making a donation in memory of your father and others who have passed due to lung cancer. That would explain why cigars are not being handed out.

Keep us posted on what you decide to do!

I also recommend considering how many of your guest would really appreciate cigars? That could help you and FI work things out.

I know Cuba is known for cigars but how about candy cigars. Maybe you can create some clever tag that request donations to the cancer society etc. Like a play on words.

Candy Cigars

Yeah I gotta agree with the other ladies on this thread...when I saw that you wanted to give cigars, I thought, oh that's nice...Cuban. But then when I saw that you wanted to make a donation to the Cancer society my first thought was "those two kind of conflict..."

I think it's gotta be one or the other and the cancer society has to trump cigars, especially since that it is in memory of your Dad.

Thanks Girls!! This is a hard decision and I will keep you posted

I get the cigar idea- they're definitely Cuban- but I have to agree with everyone else that the two ideas don't mix. I love the idea of a donation to the cancer society in memory of your father so maybe keep that and try something else for favours. The fact is, too, that some people don't enjoy cigars at all so they'll be left out if you give these as a favour. I love the idea of chocolate cigars! Your FI could give some cigars to his groomsmen before the wedding as a gift for them if he's really set on the idea. They could enjoy one before the ceremony and that way it's separated from your favour a bit.

Thanks Melidell

I was thinking the same that he can give them to his guys. Enjoy your wedding at Melia, we were there last month. Thats where we got engaged. It's a nice resort!!