What I would and wouldn't do again...

My friend got married this past June and I was a BM. Since the people that were in her wedding will be in my wedding we are reusing her BM dress for my wedding. I gave my BM dress to my friend that got married so she can wear it (though she will need to alter it since she is a size smaller than me but that works out well). I figured no one really remembers the BM dresses anyways and most of the people that are coming to our wedding didnt come to my friends wedding so no one will even know.

Also no one has to buy a dress since they already have it! :-)

One thing I wish I would have done is to make a table or display or something for those who couldn't come to the wedding, people like my grandmother, best friends, cousins, etc.

I did have a photo charm on my bouquet for my grandmother who passed away, but my other grandma is just as important and wasn't there either. I should have done something to include her and my grandfathers

WOWOWOWOW. This is an amazing thread! I have learned so much now. The key to me is to think real hard about what I would want when I attend someone else's destination wedding.

Here is a list of what I will do/ won't do for my Bali wedding in July. I will have 60 guests, hotel chapel Catholic blessing ceremony at 5pm, cocktails at 6pm, with outdoor clifftop buffet reception at 7pm.

-flying out 4 days in advance to do makeup and hair trial, consultation with photographer, wedding dress cleaning, day spa treatments as BM gifts (after all they did fly halfway around the world for me! they totally deserve it), rehearsal.

-consider staying in the resort until 2 days after wedding, then move to another part of the island (total 6 days)

-definitely iPod with a trustworthy button pusher

-no OOT bags for me, most of the guests are travel savvy people

-hire drivers and do airport pickup for foreign guests

-bucket of bottled water during cocktail hour

-maybe videographer? undecided

-definitely see each other before wedding and have photog catch the surprise look on FI's face

-keep desserts AND small wedding cake, i recently went to a wedding with no desserts with 3 course dinner and i was very very disappointed. Cake was mediocre. Blah.

-maybe veil? yes since it's catholic wedding, elbow length

-talk to hotel WC about contingency plans

-dress the chairs with ties

-have 1 day to unwind and rest and lounge at the beach after wedding

-entertainment: hire traditional dancers

-have all the group flight guests eat out for lunch together so they know each other's faces when travelling together. i nego'd with the airline to give me a discount on a party of 10 people, they gave me 25% on singapore airlines. yes, i am not only a wedding planner but a travel agent! i even accommodated my friends who have plans to travel elsewhere within asia to fit their return dates to the US in the itineraries

-microphone for the ceremony (speaking in front of 60 people after all). Too many weddings where I go, "what is the Bride or Groom saying" because of poor acoustics in church or soft spoken people. it gets annoying.

-definitely do a wedding rehearsal with mic set up

-polaroid guest book and place card table, with my sisters as attendants

-sit alone with FI during the reception to have some private time and so BMs and GMs can sit with their loved ones during dinner.

-do personal spa in Houston, mani/pedi/wax. BM gift full massage and spa treatment for them.

-practice first dance

So far I have no regrets:

-splurging on the dress - Custom made Lea Ann Belter

-DIY STD and cheap but chic DIY invitations from Michaels (they're going to be in the trash anyway after WD). TIP: it is best to send out cheap STDs to really figure out who will/can/wants to go. I sent the STDs to 80 people. Finalized it to 60 people. That way you know you are sending the formal invitations to the people who are committed in going.

-doing online RSVPs on theknot.com (free) have 50% success rate. Best to CALL each person and ask!

-letting my BMs wear whatever they want as long it fits certain criteria. my BMs all live in different countries.

Thanks so much, ladies!!! Keep them coming!

Bump this thread!

wow this is very helpful!!! thanks ladies

great ideas. I'll be sure to share my list after I get married.

What I can say so far

-use a travel agent who specializes in destiantion weddings. You have enough to deal with and they know what to ask, say and do. I prefer someone who lives in my homw town other.

-get married at home first. I have more selection with days and could book sooner not having to wait for the judge. We're going to have a friend to the ceremony (the guy who set us up). We also have less paper work, translations etc to do. and it will all be in English!

-OOT bags are a must. You don't have to spend a lot but I think everyone will really appreciate the effort and items thay may have forgotten to pack.

-bringing my own photographer. He can take photos all week

Won't do:

-won't let everyone tell me how do have my wedding!!