Double Wedding...sort of

Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. I have no problem sharing the spotlight with someone else, esp b/c most weddings only last one night so why do I need to have a week long celebration? While people may compare our wedding to theirs, they could still compare ours to one that they went to a month prior so I don't think that would bother me either...but I guess it all depends on if we agree on things when we have to start making decisions. I would probably be bothered if their guests tried to attend our wedding, but I am sure we could figure out a way to make it obvious that only invited guests are allowed to be there for the ceremony & reception.

That’s great a lot of it wouldn’t bother you, but you couldn’t pay me enough to do it. As Karla said, I would never want to share the most important moment in my life and my FI’s life with someone else. I think you both might have hopeful thoughts and great attitudes towards it, but planning a wedding is stressful and now you have to technically plan two weddings since the both of you will be making decisions about things together.

Hey there,

I sort of know how you feel. Our friends (who I don't really know, my FI was close to the guy but neither of us really know his FI) asked if they could join our wedding weeks together, so that they could attend ours and we could go to theirs (since we were both doing DWs). We compromised, they are doing theirs the weeks after ours now (works for us since we don't have any other friends/relatives in common), at the same resort (I picked it, hope they like it lol). So far I haven't ran into too many problems except that the girl wasn't too excited about having it in June, we can't do it any other time unfortunately.

 

I think it could work doing it the same week as your cousin, but I agree with the others that it will be a little weird in some ways for guests (like do you plan to have completely different guest lists, will people who don't know you expect to go to yours since everyone else is going?). Will people have the exact same experience at both of your weddings, if so are you ok with that?

 

Also, it is kind of tough to decide on a resort you're both happy with, and a date...But if you can work together I think it would be ok - just a few logistical issues. I know of people who have done it, and I think it's a practical thing to do. Good luck deciding, let us know how it works out .

-Steph

My FI's best friend asked if he and his FI could get married on our DW trip. I said yes at first but then I went back and said no. I decided that, like Karla, I didn't want to share the spotlight with anyone, nor did I want to have to make decisions with someone other than my FI about what we're going to do during that week. And I thought it would be hard to tell some guests they could come to our wedding but not theirs and vice versa. So since I've said no, they haven't even set a date yet which makes me think they may have been trying to get me to do all the planning and they were going to just jump in on the tail end.

Oooh, I hope not. That's a backhanded and nasty thing to do! You're right about it being difficult to make decisions with more people, though. Most of the advice we give on this forum boils down to "It's your day and your FI's day and nobody else's, so do what YOU TWO WANT." But that's a lot harder to do when you have to consider another couple.

On a side note, I have it on decent authority that someone close to me may be getting a ring soon. I wonder if she'll want to do a DW, because if she did, I would definitely not mind sharing the week with her. She's AWESOME! And I'm really excited just thinking about her maybe getting engaged soon... YAY! Sorry... didn't mean to hijack this thread when I started that statement, I'm just excited and I wanted to share the news with people who can't spoil the surprise!

I think we're going to go ahead and try it out! We're all easygoing and open to ideas, so let's hope it works out!

 

Now I just have to convince FI that it's okay to set a date...lol.

Good luck, I hope it works out!

How's the planning going? I'm doing this with my best friend next year (our families are close as well). It really was the only way to be able to afford to attend each other's weddings. They've been engaged for 7 years, have two kids(!) and this is my second (and last) go round. Very simple, very laid back--probably just going to take a free package somewhere--maybe we're just too old to really give a crap about "the spotlight" anymore...

 

Anyways, glad to see I'm not the first person to consider this.

In my opinion there would be pro's and con's to this. It is a good idea as it would be good financially, but like many others have said I would never consider it because I would want it to be all about me and my fiance (as bad as that sounds!). With something as important as my wedding I would want everything my way and I would never back down, so if the others disagreed with my mine and my fiances decision on say the hotel, it would just come to blows.

 

It's good that you've decided to go with it though and I hope it all works out for the better. Have you got together and started making any decisions yet?x

I would totally do it as well. Having more family there the better I think.