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How Important Is Your Bling To Your Marriage

LadyP
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LadyP

LadyP

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I know he is thinking about it because he has talked about our wedding photoes and I am not going to see what he and teh guys are wearing. Comments like it is your day and it is just my job to show up and pay. He will look at this site with me if I want to show him something and he will comment on it but as far as setting a date nothing.

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Shelley

Shelley

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Do you think maybe the reason he's shutting up lately is b/c he's planning something? I dont' know about your partner, but mine doesn't look at jewelery online unless he's in the market to buy something. I'm just wondering if he looked at you like you were crazy when you said you don't care about the ring because he may have already bought - or has planned to buy - you a particular ring. Just a thought..

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1elephant

1elephant

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i'd marry keith regardless, but i also find myself staring at it....for the last few months before we got engaged, every time it came up he'd groan and be a 'typical man', but it was only b/c he was plotting and scheming...so my final vote is let it happen when it happens.

 

HOWEVER, even before we got engaged, we discussed putting him under my health insurance. i'm a teacher, w/ great benefits, and he pays something like $400/mo...some insurance companies in NJ will allow you to do this if you are co-habitating (an anti-gay amendment) - i don't know about PA though...also, once you're married, any debt of yours is his, and his becomes yours...this was a big reason k took so long - b/c my debt will be his....

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starchild

starchild

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Originally Posted by LALA View Post
Now I'm worried. I want you to know right off the bat that this only comes because I don't want to see any BDW girls sad or unhappy. Plus, you can totally ignore me if I'm overstepping bounds.

I'm concerned that he won't talk to you and because of that you genuinely don't know his thoughts on marriage right now. That is a major subject that should be discussed. It's not like he never told you that he doesn't like Italian Dressing on his salad - this is major. How is the communication between you on other subjects like $$, sex, raising your son, religion?
I know when I have offended my FI because he says so. He didn't always say so, but after so many years together he knows he needs to tell me. If you don't know if your DBF is offended or not there is a serious comunication breakdown going on.
I know some people aren't talkers and I respect that. There are some things that need to be talked about though - even for the non-talkers.

I hope I'm ot being too nosy or prying. I just want to help if I can.
Me too. I hope I'm not overstepping our boundaries either but ring/marriage or not, you both have to be on the same page communication wise. My DH was always a good listener but when we first got together years ago, he would clam up at the most crucial times. We were raised in households with different communication styles so it was nobody's fault, but we had to find a common ground. I wouldn't have married him if he was still like that, sometimes now I can't shut him up ... lol

If you guys can't discuss certain things or at least be able to gage eachother's feelings, maybe counseling can bring some of these issues to the table. The ring means nothing, when all is right in your relationship the right thing will happen. Best wishes :o)
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Nrvsbride

Nrvsbride

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Catherine my FI is not a "share your feelings kind of guy" either and for the longest time we had tension and financial problems. After getting great advice from the girls here I was finally able to put my foot down (in a non-attacking kind of way) and we worked our issues out. I am 100% credit card debt free and he is paying off his credit card debt (whereas before he would just let it pile up). Our finances have improved tremendously but only b/c of communication. I too tend to avoid things, but I realized that this only makes matters worse. After all, I realized that if I can't talk to him now, what am I going to do when I have even bigger issues and we are married?

 

I know L. hearts you and he would do anything for you and I have no doubt that he wants to give you the best ring and wedding, just like any other man in love would want for their wife. That being said, it is important to speak to him. You have to know where he stands on the issue of marriage b/c it seems like he is being evasive. And as much as I want to be an optimist, I'm concerned that there is more to this than him just wanting to surprise you. I think you should speak to him sooner rather than later.

 

I also sincerely apologize if I am overstepping my bounds, but like the other girls said I heart you and I just want the best for you.

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LadyP

LadyP

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Originally Posted by Nrvsbride View Post
Catherine my FI is not a "share your feelings kind of guy" either and for the longest time we had tension and financial problems. After getting great advice from the girls here I was finally able to put my foot down (in a non-attacking kind of way) and we worked our issues out. I am 100% credit card debt free and he is paying off his credit card debt (whereas before he would just let it pile up). Our finances have improved tremendously but only b/c of communication. I too tend to avoid things, but I realized that this only makes matters worse. After all, I realized that if I can't talk to him now, what am I going to do when I have even bigger issues and we are married?

I know L. hearts you and he would do anything for you and I have no doubt that he wants to give you the best ring and wedding, just like any other man in love would want for their wife. That being said, it is important to speak to him. You have to know where he stands on the issue of marriage b/c it seems like he is being evasive. And as much as I want to be an optimist, I'm concerned that there is more to this than him just wanting to surprise you. I think you should speak to him sooner rather than later.

I also sincerely apologize if I am overstepping my bounds, but like the other girls said I heart you and I just want the best for you.
We have been talking and things are looking better. I dont know exactly what is going on but the communication has gotten better
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LadyP

LadyP

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Originally Posted by MandyBlue Eyes View Post
Yor ring is amazing...I tried to get a better look at it in the slide show but the slides went too fast......do you mind sending me the pic....(still designing mine) It is so beautiful
thank you. I heart it (thanx Glenda) but dont want him to spend that. we could use that for a new house

http://www.tiffany.com/expertise/eng...novo&ring=novo

or try scott kay I liked his stuff

http://www.scottkay.com/bridal/produ...=94&products=y
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