DW Reception Issues

Ok, I am trying to start planning the wedding; I have the resort and I was told to fill out a wish list so the resort can come up with a proposal and a contract. So thinking about the reception and I am freaking out a little. My FI is insistent that he wants to just go to dinner after with all the guests (we definitely have 8 people for sure including us, 2 more people as a high possibility, and 5 as a maybe/not really, so 8 to 15 people including my FI and I). He thinks that we are too small for a reception and we will be in the big room with only a few people. I was ok with going to dinner until I thought of having our first dance, dancing at all, and cutting the cake. How can I have that with a dinner in a restaurant? My FI is impossible to talk to about all of this. He doesn’t want to really talk about it at all and he says I am crazy with it. All I am working on is getting a resort booked and figuring about the major details and he is already giving me a hard time.

 

What are all of you doing for your reception/dinner and how many people are coming? Are any of you doing any of the traditions? Cutting the cake? Having the first dance?

First off...take a few deep breaths--you sound really stressed. You can still have a very pretty ceremony and reception. When my FI and I went to DR this past April we witnessed a very cute, elegant yet simple wedding. The bride was gorgeous, the size of the wedding was very manageable and most importantly everyone appeared to be enjoying their special day. I believe they had a beach wedding, dinner at one of the finer restaurants at the resort and we spotted them at the lobby bar partying with all the other guests. The father/daughter dance was done at the lobby bar. It was too cute. As for the cake cutting, you can do that at the restaurant.

 

I can definitely understand your frustration. I was in your shoes just days ago for sort of the opposite situation (I was very stressed about reception accomodations and planning for TOO many guests in such a far away location) but please know that you are at an advantage. Take this planning time to get creative and make it a memorable experience for you, your FI and all your guests.

 

Some advice...stop running everything past your FI; I was doing this and I drove myself crazy and decided to stay local.

 

Relax and Happy planning!

 

 

Kim

I think you should include that concern in your wish list - tell them that you want a very small intimate dinner with space for your first dance, cake cutting, etc.. Remember that they are sending you a proposal meaning that they should propose a few options for you. The resort wedding coordinator might have suggestions. They know the venue better than anyone and may be able to suggest a space that will feel intimate but still give you enough room to do all those things you want.

 

Where are you getting married and what time of year? I've seen beautiful outdoor locations that are small enough but you can still dance. Maybe a private room in a restaurant or the outdoor area of a restaurant? There are many options so I think you should tell the wedding coordinator EXACTLY what you're looking for and ask for advice.

Best of luck

I am getting married 10/22/10. I think what makes me more freaked out is that I can't afford to go out there and have a site visit.

 

Maybe I should stop talking to my FI about all of this. He gets me more stressed and makes things difficult.

First of all I am going to have to agree with Kim here.

Second of all, there are still other options for you to make it more "wedding like" with a small dinner involved.
- You can still cut the cake at dinner
- Can you have a dance in one of the lounges or bars? I know of some brides who just made requests to the band/dj playing and had their first dance ot other dances. Who is going to say no to you on your wedding day?
- I would have to agree with your FI on the big room and small group issue though (depending on how big the room is). By having a m,ore intimate dinner, you can at least spend time with everyone too. There is always dancing on resorts somewhere!

We are having a private reception, but we are also expecting closer to 30 ppl., and although I AM glad I get that, it is still over fairly early (from 7-11pm ) and it will cost us almost the same per person at the AI resort (where 99% of our guests are staying!) as it would here. I am not sure what your budget is like, but having a private reception may not be all it's cracked upto be for what you may pay. Of course, I don't know what your resort is like.

Also, in a restaraunt, would they let you have an ipod or something so you could at least have your first dance in a semi-private area? Just throwing that idea out there...

Good luck to you. I really hope everything works out. Please keep us posted!

I agree you should include these concerns in your wish list to the resort. I'm going to a destination wedding in Thailand this January and there are only going to be 15 guests including the bride and groom. The reception is going to be a traditional one, there will be dinner, drinks, speeches, first dance and more dancing, cutting of the cake, garter and bouquet toss. I think that if it's important to you that you include these segments into your wedding then you should definitely do it. Just because it's a small wedding doesn't mean you can't have it all, and I'm sure you will have a lot of fun. Also what are all your options for location? If you have a reception outside in a more secluded area it won't make it feel like you are a small group in a large room.

Try not to stress yourself out too much. I'm sure the resort will have suggestions for a wedding of your size- I'm sure you're not the first one to do so. I have heard about a lot of small weddings in a section of a restaurant or private room or a nice reception on the beach. You can still have a cake cutting and dances- express your concerns to the wedding coordinator and they can help out.

 

As far as getting suggestions from FI, I only get him involved when it comes to decisions involving spending $, since we are both putting towards it. Or if I'm trying to decide between two things and i need an honest opinion. I'm more stressed about it than he is- I guess that's how men are. He probably won't get serious until the end

Does your wedding package include a champagne toast after the ceremony? If so you could do your dance just after your ceremony while your guests sip champagne. You will presumably already have a sound system set up there from the ceremony... Then you could slip off to do your photos?

 

I agree with the other brides here that you need to discuss it with your WP and NOT with your groom until you have some options and know exactly what you want to do

Ok, I emailed the resort and asked if they have any other options for a party of 16 maximum and if we would be able to have dinner in a restaurant. There are going to do two proposals for me and I will see which one I like. Of course if they do have a reception area for us that isn't too big I need to come up with the money for it since I am over my budget already. (Aruba is expensive!)

 

Thank you so much for your feedback! I think I will tell the FI once I choose what I want. I need to stop talking to him about everything!

No reception, we didn't want to pay the extra money having something private would cost us. I don't care AT ALL about the dances or cake cutting. We're having two AHRs so we can get the dance and/or cake in then and once is more than enough for us both.

 

Why don't you get some prices first and then lay it all out for your fiance? You can usually do a private reception on the beach which doesn't make it seem silly with so few people in a big room.This might cost $40+ a person. And once you see prices it may not matter that much to you anymore either. Also, if you're having a reception back home - consider doing all those things there instead. Good luck!