Disapointed in turnout. Am I alone?

[JUSTUSTWO]

SIGH/UGH.....I am so disappointed with my guest responses. First, my potential MOH found out she was pregnant & after doing research figures that she shouldn't fly while pregnant. She'd be about 7 mos at the time of my wedding. I was extremely upset but got over it because I am happy for her. Let me correct that, I'm not completely over it but I do understand that she has to do whats best for her & the baby.

 

So, as our deadline is approaching for guests to make their reservations, I've received calls within minutes of each other, from friends who I just KNEW would be traveling with us who ofcourse CAN'T MAKE IT. UGHHHHHHHHHH....

Keep in mind, a large amount of FAMILY on both of our sides can't make it either because they still live in the rock age & refuse to venture out beyond the state in which they live.

 

Everyone has their reasons, but basically its just that the timing is wrong & finances play a part as well. With each phone call I found myself on the phone listening to them, thinking . Once they said they couldn't make it but would be there with us in spirit, all I wanted to do was get off of the phone. I mean, I know that we'd have some people who couldn't attend but I had no idea it would be as many as it is.

 

So here I am, annoyed, disappointed, frustrated, upset. I decided to breakdown & tell my mom & FI how I'm feeling via a 3 way phone conversation. Their bottom line: FORGET WHO CAN'T MAKE IT. My FI said that as long as he & I are there, along with our parents, no one else matters.

Now I know this in my heart and keep thinking about the WONDERFUL time that I KNOW we will have with those who are joining us. I keep replaying what my FI & mom have said and am feeling 75% better. But there's that 25%of me that is still filled with stinky feelings! I know I'll get over it eventually but its hard. Afterall, we didn't plan this for our guests, we planned it for us and its what we wanted to do. So I guess in the end thats all that matters.

 

I guess I'll sleep on it & hopefully wake up with a renewed sense of something!! Thanks for letting me go on & on.

[Betsy]

Let me tell you - that is completely NORMAL to feel that way! Two of my very BEST Friends are all of a sudden "unable" to make it - one just went to another wedding of an ACQUAINTACE in December and the other one has another wedding in FLorida in Febraury so she cant make it either. (sorry my spelling is awful) Anyways I totally feel your pain and it just sucks in a word - but ya know what - we will have the time of our lives and it is going to be wonderful anyways!

[Yari]

I am so sorry you are disapointed, that stinks!

 

Just have a good night's sleep and let it go. All that is super important is you and your FI are getting married and starting an amazing life together.

[JaimeLynne]

I definitely don't think you're alone!!!

 

This is my biggest fear with a DW. We are so far out that we haven't "technically" invited ppl yet... of course, everyone "says" they will come but I'm so worried that I'll be majorly let down.

 

In the end we've all got to keep in mind that this is something so very special to us and it IS our decision.

 

Thank goodness for BDW is all I have to say!!!!!

[Leia78]

Don't worry...i was hurt when some of my guests already told me that they wouldn't be able to make it. My FI and mom told me to let it go and not take it personal! Your wedding is going to be fantastic no matter who ends up going.

[Sharonie]

Don't feel bad, a lot of us are in the same boat. My sister and 6-7 other couples will not be able to make it because of pregnancy. And with the original 50 responded with interest, only 14 booked so far. It does get frustrating. Although we did expect not everyone will make it to the DW, we are disappointed with the turnout. But it shows you who your true friends are, who will be there for you no matter what. Sleep on it, and you will feel better tomorrow. As long as you two get married with the ones who truely love you there witnessing and celebrating with you, it will be beautiful regardless.

[coreyphil]

Quote:

Originally Posted by yari2566 I am so sorry you are disapointed, that stinks! Just have a good night's sleep and let it go. All that is super important is you and your FI are getting married and starting an amazing life together.

Such good advice! I completely agree ... but I also think that you're absolutely entitled to have "stinky feelings" too! We're going to be missing a few because of babies, too. It's pretty much impossible to make it to where everyone can attend!

You're wedding is going to be wonderful ... it's so easy sometimes to get caught up in details and an idea of "perfect" --- trust me --- I know because I have been freaking out about a silly mural in my chapel --- but just reading some of these other posts reminds me that what Yari says is right --- starting this amazing adventure with a wonderful man is all that really matters!

[jas&john]

gesh... I'm new here and I bet that will happen to me too. I just wish I could take our dog to be in our wedding. Is that possible? He is the most faithful friend ever.

[Celina]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JaimeLynne I definitely don't think you're alone!!! This is my biggest fear with a DW. We are so far out that we haven't "technically" invited ppl yet... of course, everyone "says" they will come but I'm so worried that I'll be majorly let down. In the end we've all got to keep in mind that this is something so very special to us and it IS our decision. Thank goodness for BDW is all I have to say!!!!!

(I totally agree! Thank goodness for BDW!) I know it hurts that they aren't there, in the end it's their loss that they won't get out of the stone age. My family is the exact SAME WAY! We have given them over a years notice and still they won't commit to coming. They are the ones missing out. You guys will have a wonderful time. Maybe the group will be smaller, but it makes you kind of see where you stand with people. Focus on those that will be there because when those that do go come back and rave about what a beautiful time they had, the rest of them will be wishing they went.

I totally feel your frustration. My fiance's childhood friends have all told him they couldn't come. The majority of my dad's family aren't coming. My mother died when I was little, so only her 1 living sister is coming. (that alone is a blessing for me). It will be okay. Sleep on it and try not to react. I know it's easier said than done, I'm going through the same thing.

[pvinnov]

You are soooo not alone. Thank goodness for bdw! I have the same fears that this will happen! As plane tickets become available, I'm trying not to be a bridezilla about nagging people about booking!

 

Looking on the bright side, those who will be there will have a great time. It'll be intimate and wonderful.

 

Sharing the day with more friends & family may be nice, but it's good not to have anyone resent you for the cost, timing, etc. I've tried to keep the perspective that while there are some people, I REALLY want to come, I also want them to come for themselves, not just the wedding.

 

And you are totally RiGHT, this is not for everyone else. It's for you and your FI. They are tons of fun wedding things to focus on aside from your guest list! This will be a happy event!!

 

sidebar: My FI was disappointed that his aunt & uncle wouldn't be able to come to ours because of health issues. To still share our wedding with them, we're going to head to LA to have them at our legal/city hall ceremony and a small celebratory dinner. Just an idea for a way to celebrate with those closest to you who can't make it.