My bro might not come

[DanielleNDerek]

So my brother's girlfriend found out she's pregnant. Which is great...but they might not come to my wedding now. the baby is dune in June my wedding is in November so I can't blame them if they don't want to fly with the baby. My brother is trying to convince her to let him go for just a couple of days, if she's doesn't want to go. But she doesn't want him to go.

 

Now I don't have kids, so I might have no reason to be upset. But I don't see why he can't just come for three days so he can see me and get married. I really want my brother to come so he can be a part of my wedding ceremony and be in my wedding pictures. I'm trying not to get upset, until he tells me he definately won't be coming...but i've already had a couple of crying sessions over it. Would never tell him that though. I think i'm just being a baby.

[Alyssa]

wow i don't think you are being a baby - that is your brother! there is no reason he shouldn't be able to come without her - if she demands that he doesn't go to his own sister's wedding b/c she doesn't want to take an infant i think she is really selfish!

[Maura]

danielle, you are totally not being a baby. IMO, i think its really selfish of his girlfriend to ask him to not attend his own sister's wedding! if she is worried about being able to take care of the baby on her own for a measley 3 days.... can't she just ask her mom/aunt/friend/somebody for the love of god to come help her so your brother can be there on your wedding day?? i dont think that's too much to ask... its not like the baby is going to be a newborn when you get married in november, she should be comfortable with having a baby and a regular schedule by then i think.

[Spazz]

I agree, you are NOT being a baby. His girlfriend should be able to watch her baby for 3 days. I would personally be just as upset in your situation.

[ACDCDCAC]

You're not being a baby! This is an important event in your life and you have the right to want to share it with people who are important to you. She will come around, and there is no reason not to bring a baby on an international trip, we just went to Mexico with our family, and we had a 3 yr old and 5 month old nieces with us. No problems whatsoever. Just don't pressure them, it's a long way off and anything could change. I would probably not want Doug to leave me with a new-ish baby either, but then I am the type of person who wouldn't think twice about attending a DW with new baby, if invited. Try not to stress, it will all work out

[Lorilou]

so not being a baby. i kind of had to deal with that myself. my bro and his wife are having their 3rd baby one month before my wedding. she was going to stand up as one of my BMs but had to decline b/c of the baby. But my bro is coming to the wedding for 3 days. which i'm happy about but sad that she won't be able to come.

[1elephant]

i think he should stand up for himself and for you! you're his sister and it's not like this is an every day event...it's a once in a lifetime event, and if he misses it, he'll hate himself.

[Jessica]

i honestly don't think you are being a baby. i think she's kind of being a brat (all respect to your future niece/nephew's mom) for not letting your brother go. it's not like he wants to go to a wedding of someone who is just an aquaintance for god's sake! i'd be totally pissed off. i would let brian go if i were in that situation.

 

my feelings are that it's either

-horomones

-she's jealous she can't go and that's why she wants your bro to stay

-she's underestimating her ability to take care of a 4-5 month old baby on her own

-she's just a brat

 

i hope something can be worked out. i'm sure she'll come around (unless she's just that type of girl, or you don't get along with her normally then i don't see why eventually she won't realize your bro should be there).

[NYJen]

We've had 4 couples back out of our wedding because they're pregnant. But they're all due right around the wedding. Your brother's baby is going to be 5 months old by then. It's not like she would just be coming home from the hospital or something. My sis took Gretchen to Cabo when she was 5 months old and she was fine.

 

Maybe you can approach your brother and say something along the lines of this. <<Playing stupid>> "Is everything ok with you and your girlfriend? I'm just concerned because you say you're not coming to the wedding because she's pregnant. But she's having the baby 5 months before. Is something else going on"

[jajajaja]

Wow. I don't think you should keep that inside. Honestly, I think you should sit your brother down and tell how important it is for him to be there. You don't need to put a ton of pressure on him, but I think it's important for you to express how you feel too. He might not realize how strongly you feel. If he did, I'm sure he would be there in a heartbeat.

 

As for the sister, is it her first child? I bet she is just freaking out a little about having a child alone. Personally, I would be scared too, but it wouldn't take me long to call my mom or sister to come stay with me. Plus the baby will be 5 months old! I think at some point during those 5 months, she would be alone with the baby. You would think she would figure it out.

 

It'll work out. Just give it some time. The people who are important to you will figure a way to make it work.