Shower planning ettiquette???

bride2be · December 6, 2007

Okay...so my bridesmaids have said they are going to throw me a shower/stagette. I had told them in the beginning that I didn't want one because we are asking our guests not to buy us gifts and I thought having a shower contradicted that. Anyway, they insist and I feel that if they really want to then let them. Well, they were initially thinking of doing a "surprise" shower for me. My MOH (who is my cousin) asked my mom what she thought of it and my mom told it was a stupid idea. She doesn't hold anything back! I really don't like surprises so this was not going to be okay with me either. Well know they have set the date and started telling people but didn't check with my mom or my FMIL. I just think this is wrong. I don't want to get involved and I really don't know what my role is here. HELP!!

LCBride2007 · December 6, 2007

well, not all showers invite the moms ... since a lot of girls will have more than one, often the moms are only invited to some of them. but since they originally asked your mom for her opinion, it seems they're planning on inviting her. i honestly don't know what "ettiquette" says - but i don't think it's that huge of a deal. can your mom and FMIL make it on the day that they picked? if not - maybe you can mention to your BMs that you'd really like them both to be there, and could they work the date so that can happen?

that may have been no help! lol

bride2be · December 6, 2007

My mom is quite upset about this. They know that both mom and FMIL are wanted in attendence. My FMIL has to fly here so would need to plan. I have let them know that I want them there. I guess other than that I will just keep my nose out of it, let them do their thing and I will attend. As it is right now though, my mom won't be able to make it. I know my cousin has a bit of a vindictive side and is probably mad that my mom shot down her intial idea. My mom's argument is that they shouldn't have asked for her opinion. I don't want this to get blown out of proportion. BUt I also don't think I should get myself in the middle of it all.