The best man just bailed!!

[JaimeLynne]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debs That's why we aren't asking anyone until the actually book. I don't want pressure asking someone who might not make it, and go through the bother of dresses etc if they are going to bail.

You know what, that is an excellent idea! I've been wondering when I'm going to ask my other bridesmaids. Luckily I've only asked 1 so far. It may be a long time to wait but it would ease some possible major disappointment.

[Jenn]

Quote:

Originally Posted by newfiebride Said that turns out he wont be able to afford it! (after knowing about it now for about 10 months) Too bad but it Sucks. Guess we'll just have to have 2 girls and 1 guy (he'll be bumped to best man, lol) AND he was one of our witnesses. Everyone else in our wedding party is family and family can'y be witnesses...

Sorry to hear your best man bailed, but really, its his loss! I think your FI should definitely ask his dad if he would step in. Destination weddings don't have rules, that's my take on it. My mom is walking me down the aisle, and essentially is the only person in our wedding party. She's even wearing a dress in one of our wedding colors.

On a different note, why can't family be witnesses? I didn't know there were requirements on who can be your witnesses...

[1elephant]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Debs That's why we aren't asking anyone until the actually book. I don't want pressure asking someone who might not make it, and go through the bother of dresses etc if they are going to bail.

we contributed towards both of our best friends' trips, making it impossible for them to say no (esp. after the amt i spent on my friend's wedding!). our siblings would obviously be there, but i waited until my other friend booked before asking her to be a bm. i didn't want her to feel obligated to come...so now we have 3 bms and 2 gms too!

sucks that your gm bailed - thank goodness you have some time to figure it out, though...i bet that even if your ffil claimed that he was too old, he'd really feel honoured...

[Saraha]

What a bummer, Im sure the same thing will be happening to us. One of the GM got drafted and depending on how he is doing at the time depends on if he can go, it sucks big time!

[jajajaja]

We have one guy, two girls. It's been like that from the start, but I didn't care if the sides were even. DW are not exactly traditional so I figured why not? Personally, I think it's a little rude to ask someone to step in after someone bails-although his father would be a different story. To me it seems like they are only being asked to even up the numbers. That might not be the case, but my cousin did that to me for her wedding. I was asked after a girl bailed and I knew I was only doing the BM stuff (and paying for the BM stuff) because the numbers were off.

 

I hope your ffil does it. I think that would be cute.

[-Kate-]

I say leave it as 2 and 1. I am having 2 BM and FI is having none. There are no rules in a DW. I would be uncomfortable asking someone to fill in at this point. If someone asked me in this situation I would feel like 2nd string.

[starchild]

Our best man bailed after our programs were printed (and another gm and bm for that matter!) Nothing you can do, we had a large group so it was no problem to shift a gm to the best man and have 2 BMs walk with one gm....it's no biggie. If you can't ask anyone else have the gm remaining also be the best man. Trust me, in the end it doesn't matter but I know how frustrating it is right now!!!

[junebride2b]

I so understand your pain. My FI has asked his 3 good friends to be in the wedding...1 of them can't come (), the second is getting married the month before us and will probably bail. Oh yeah, and the best man now can't afford to go? What do I do?? I feel so bad..is it guys?? or just that girls are such good friends

[julikam]

I know this is old posting, but I had to read as the same thing is happening to us. The best man, my fiancé's best friend all through childhood, is about to back out less than a week before the wedding. We are getting married about 3 hours away and he was complaining about the cost at first (last week). He only had to buy a pair of pants and his hotel room plus gas, my fiancé supplied everything else. Yet he just bought himself an upgraded car and moved into a really expensive apartment and He makes more money than both of us combined. Now he says he won't know until Tuesday if he can get off work this weekend? Really? You had 10 months to ask for the time off. We have had to bug him for months to get fitted for his pants, never sent back the rsvp, and also doesn't return calls. We don't even know if we got the pants yet. Why do people not see how much it hurts their "friend" to do this. I'm sorry but if I couldn't make it for whatever reason I would call immediately to let the groom know and apologize and feel horrible about it. Its too late to ask someone else to stand in. We just got the programs two days ago and its too late to reprint them. I told my fiancé to cross him name off every one of them. I feel like a heartless b$itch, but to me you could have found the time to back out in 10 months. What a sucky friend! My fiancé is crushed. it has really hurt him to know his best friend isn't man enough to just back out. No one even threw him a bachelor party. That's a huge rite of passage that I really want him to have. He says no big deal, but to me it is. I have been keeping out of it, but I am so ready to call him and go bridezilla on his you know what. My fiancé's aunt thinks we are being insensitive to the "best man's" situation which also ticks me off. Why is it too much to ask someone for advanced notice before they completely bale on you on one of the most important days of your life? I know our wedding day will go off without anyone else noticing that he is missing, but WE know. This completely changes their friendship. It would be one thing if it were for an uncontrollable reason, but I'm sorry if I am being heartless but this is a sh$t thing to do to your good friend.

[brownsugarbride]

Quote:

Originally Posted by julikam 

I know this is old posting, but I had to read as the same thing is happening to us.

The best man, my fiancé's best friend all through childhood, is about to back out less than a week before the wedding. We are getting married about 3 hours away and he was complaining about the cost at first (last week). He only had to buy a pair of pants and his hotel room plus gas, my fiancé supplied everything else. Yet he just bought himself an upgraded car and moved into a really expensive apartment and He makes more money than both of us combined.

Now he says he won't know until Tuesday if he can get off work this weekend? Really? You had 10 months to ask for the time off. We have had to bug him for months to get fitted for his pants, never sent back the rsvp, and also doesn't return calls. We don't even know if we got the pants yet.

Why do people not see how much it hurts their "friend" to do this. I'm sorry but if I couldn't make it for whatever reason I would call immediately to let the groom know and apologize and feel horrible about it. Its too late to ask someone else to stand in. We just got the programs two days ago and its too late to reprint them. I told my fiancé to cross him name off every one of them. I feel like a heartless b$itch, but to me you could have found the time to back out in 10 months. What a sucky friend!

My fiancé is crushed. it has really hurt him to know his best friend isn't man enough to just back out. No one even threw him a bachelor party. That's a huge rite of passage that I really want him to have. He says no big deal, but to me it is. I have been keeping out of it, but I am so ready to call him and go bridezilla on his you know what. My fiancé's aunt thinks we are being insensitive to the "best man's" situation which also ticks me off. Why is it too much to ask someone for advanced notice before they completely bale on you on one of the most important days of your life?

I know our wedding day will go off without anyone else noticing that he is missing, but WE know. This completely changes their friendship. It would be one thing if it were for an uncontrollable reason, but I'm sorry if I am being heartless but this is a sh$t thing to do to your good friend.

 

I am so sorry to hear this---I am in total agreement with you about the callousness of this so-called friend!  Sending warm thoughts to your FH and hoping that everything will work out wonderfully!