Leighc's Planning Thread--April 9, 2016

[yycbride2016]

@@Wafflesmom Omg!!! Why did you mention this website! I found 3 more paris of wedge heals I fell in love with haha. This shoe business might just get dangerous for me haha.

[LeighC]

All, I just need to take a moment......the US Supreme Court just ruled in favor of marriage equality in every state.  

 

Mr. and I have been together for over 9 years now.  I never had any doubt that our relationship was forever.  Having a piece of paper saying we're married wasn't going to change our love or commitment to one another.  But even so, getting married was important to me.  It was a declaration to everyone--our friends, our family, our future children, even the government--that we were a unit. It breaks my heart to think that some of my dear friends weren't able to make that declaration.  UNTIL TODAY.  I know some states are going to fight it tooth and nail, but I'm just going to take a moment to be happy and to celebrate with my friends.  

 

happy wedding planning to everyone

Edited June 26, 2015 by LeighC

[Wafflesmom]

@@Wafflesmom Omg!!! Why did you mention this website! I found 3 more paris of wedge heals I fell in love with haha. This shoe business might just get dangerous for me haha.

Haha I love that website! I'll let you know if I get any promo codes soon.

 

And @@LeighC, I love what you wrote. Yes, happy wedding planning to everyone! Love wins

[LeighC]

Sorry I've been so MIA.  Work just exploded for me.  (i should probably be working right now, but oh well).  This is part of the reason I want to plan as much as possible early on.  Who knows what work will be like in the month or two before the wedding!  Anyway.....on to more planning things:

 

Guests (with a smidge of drama):

 

21 of the 35-ish guest rooms have a deposit down, and we've had only a few people give a definite "no."  We'll see who pays in full in a few months.  The way we arranged it was that we were inviting 64 people, which grew to 68.  Two of the extra folks were my photographers, two were a couple we invited more as a symbolic gesture (we knew they weren't going to come).  we also added my aunt and uncle last minute.

 

For the most part, our families have been very understanding of the fact that we're having a destination wedding, and that we are planning on keeping it very small.  Everyone seemed on board with it.  Then, about a month after we pick a resort and a date, I get an email from my mom.  She had been kicking around the idea of trying to plan a family vacation combining her children (me and my siblings) with her husband's children.  She doesn't think they can afford to do both, so she asks me if it would be ok if her husband's children (and their families) come along.  This leaves me with a few options:  1) say ok, which would effectively add a minimum of 10 guests to my wedding because they are married with children; 2) say ok, but they can't attend the wedding events; or 3) say no.  

 

I went with option 3.  And i felt awful about it.  I couldn't afford that many additional guests, but I thought it would be really weird to have them hanging around the resort without actually being a part of the wedding.  Not to mention the fact that my parents are divorced, and I'm sure that would make my dad uncomfortable.  I've only met them a couple times, so it would be a little weird for me as well.  And finally, I was a little disappointed that my mom was essentially saying that my wedding (and the possibility of spending time with her children) was inconveniencing her time with her step children.  That's a bit of a juvenile feeling, but there it is. To her credit, after I said no she dropped it.  I'm just a bit annoyed she put me in the position of having to say no in the first place. 

 

So that was early on, and I thought the guest list drama had passed.  Then, THE DAY I SEND OUT THE SAVE THE DATES,  I call my dad briefly on an unrelated topic, and I casually mention that the save the dates are in the mail.  He asks, "are you inviting my sister and her husband?"  I tell him no, that due to the space limits for the ceremony space, I didn't invite any of my parents' siblings.  And then, in the tone only a dad can use, he tells me, "well.......that's your choice....."   Now, I know you guys don't know me, but I am a total daddy's girl.  My dad and I lived alone together for many years.  I've heard him use a disappointed tone with me less than 5 times in my entire life.  I caved IMMEDIATELY.  I went home, contritely explained the situation to my fiance, who wanted me to stay firm on our guest list, but I sent my aunt a save the date anyway.  Luckily, I found out recently that they will not be attending, which is good for our budget, but also because I don't have to have an awkward conversation with my mom about why I didn't invite her siblings as well.  

 

So everything worked out, and almost all of the important folks have put deposits down.  I would love to think that's the last of the guest list drama, but after reading through all of your threads, I know that's just wishful thinking

[LeighC]

Invitations:

 

so i think i mentioned before that I'm not very crafty when it comes to paper goods.  I'm really going to try some DIY things for things like menus, welcome letters, placecards, etc.   But for the save the dates and invitations, I figured  I should probably leave it to a professional.....

 

I just ordered these yesterday, and I'm so excited about them!  This is just a mock-up, we requested custom colors.  

 

Here it is just adding our information to the mock-up:

 

As a reminder, here's our color palette: 

 

I've asked them to make the background color match the light tan (far left on the palette), and have the blue drops match our light blue color (middle of palette).  The foil drops color will stay the same.  There's more information on the back regarding cocktail hour, reception, etc.

 

Once I get the proof in our actual colors, I'll post that as well.  I don't plan on sending them out for another couple months, but I just want to get the easy stuff checked off the list!

Edited July 9, 2015 by LeighC

[yycbride2016]

@@LeighC

I'm sorry your guest list keeps growing. Its frustrating when everyone thinks they have a say in your wedding and how it should be done and who should be there. My mum kept adding people to my list and it grew from like 60 to about 70. Luckily I was able to knock people off after the save the dates (people who wouldn't give me their correct address, moving out of the country, just flat out said no). Hopefully your guest list drama will come to an end soon.

 

The invitations look so pretty! They will look great once they are in your colors! Can't wait to see all of your other creations

[TinkerSofi]

I'm sorry that you're dealing with the whole guest list drama. I know that there is always something that comes up. I think you made the right choice in both occasions when your parents asked you to add more people. I probably would have caved too haha, but for both my parents . 

 

I hope the drama is over for you, for me it was more stressful for people to finish paying than booking, but it doesn't mean that it will always go down that way. 

 

My mom, as she saw me stressed when people wouldn't pay/switched rooms, left us with an extra bill, etc. said that I wouldn't have had to deal with this if I had gotten married locally. That was her only shot at me having a DW, but honestly if it wasn't the guests it would have been something else. My one friend got married last weekend here in our city and he still had to deal with some shenanigans from people. Weddings are just a stressful process, not matter what. Just try to roll with the punches and you'll be fine

[LeighC]

Hello to whoever is still reading this thing! I know I've been gone forever.......I actually ended up taking a new job and moving halfway across the country! And once we got to our new state, we ended up in a not-very-great apartment (which we had to rent without seeing first due to the short notice about the new job), so rather than waiting to house hunt after a year of getting to know the city, we hastened the timeline.  We found a fantastic little house, and we're closing on it at the end of january. My time for the past 4 months have been spent packing, moving, starting a new job, house hunting, and now packing again!

 

So here i am....three months out from my wedding, and I have done almost nothing by way of planning.  and because we bought a house much sooner than expected, most of my "wedding fund" has turned into a house down payment.  OOPS.  I've had to really rethink the wedding and figure out where I can save some money.....so here is the status:

 

1. Guests---We've had several people drop out, and final hotel payments are due in 3 weeks.  Right now, we're at a 46 head count (not including bride and groom). I'm waiting to finalize the seating chart until after final payments, but I'm going to go ahead and start creating place cards.  Which leads to the next point!

 

2. Table Settings (other than sweetheart table)-----Bear with me on this, because i don't have an exact picture to show you. I started out with two inspiration photos:

 

 

To save some money, I'll be using the standard white table cloths and chairs from the resort. I bought some fantastic fabric that matches my lighter blue color, which I am making into large table runners (similar to the first photo). For the centerpieces, I'm going to use one bouquet of white and light pink flowers in a copper/rose gold vase, with mismatched rose gold votive candles around it.  

 

For table numbers, I'm going to buy plain wooden ones from a craft store and paint them navy.  I'll post photos once I finish.

 

Finally, each place setting at the table will have a thank you card (to be DIY'd) and a place card.  I just bought these adorable sea urchin on Etsy, and i'll print out the name cards with navy font.  

 

 

 

 

3. Favors: We initially planned on doing an elaborate welcome bag, but this is one area where I am really cutting back. We're skipping welcome bags entirely.  The thank you note will be at everyone's seat, and we decided to do a simple favor.  The welcome table at the reception will have a framed seating chart (TBD), and beer bottles with customized magnetic bottle openers tied around the neck (easy to pack!).  The picture on the bottle opener will be the same logo as our Save the Dates.  We ordered them today, so I'll let you know how they turn out!

 

 

So anyway, that's really the only progress to report.  Here's what's on my to-do list right now:

 

1.    Reserve salon appointments for bridal party

2.    Create seating chart (after final payments)

3.    Bottle opener favors (ordered 1/3/16)

4.    Thank you cards for table settings

5.    Print place cards to go with sea urchin

6.    Purchase and paint table numbers

7.    Sweetheart table Mr. & Mrs. sign

8.    Sew table runners from fabric

9.    Purchase robe for getting ready

10.  Shoes, jewelry, hair accessories for leigh

11.  Gifts for bridesmaids (jewelry to go with pouches)

12.  Gifts for groomsmen (Sperry shoes--half ordered 1/3/16)

13.  Gifts for parents (???)

14.  Purchase casual white dress for next day family photos

15.  Create music playlist

16.  Reserve music sound system

17.  Purchase and paint vases for centerpieces

18.  Purchase candle holders for centerpieces

19.  Purchase flameless candles

20.  Create ceremony garland backdrop

21.  Purchase makeup for leigh

22.  Create cards for bride/groom pre-ceremony letters

23.  Purchase wraps for mothers/bride

24.  Purchase/create fans for ceremony

 

 

If anyone has brilliant gift ideas for parents, I am all ears!

Oh yeah!  As some of you may remember, we actually picked a photographer in Boston, rather than Mexico.  Well, we don't live there anymore! We ended up having to fly back to Boston about a month after we moved away to proceed with our scheduled engagement photos.  It ended up being a great way to say goodbye to the city where we had lived for 7 years.  

 

If anyone were to ask where we became "us", I would say Boston. We moved across the country together, not knowing anyone. We struggled without that safety net, but we're so much stronger now because of it.  Here are a few of the photos!

 

[vancouverpetunia]

@@LeighC Wow! You've had a lot going on. It sounds like you are getting settled though and are back on track with the wedding. My wedding is 2 days before yours, so it's good to see your list! Love your engagement photos! And Boston is such a beautiful background. 

[LeighC]

@@vancouverpetunia  thank you! i just got done looked through your thread so far! it looks beautiful! and planning gifts for other people is definitely difficult. Because i'm letting my girls pick their own dresses, I've put off buying jewelry for them until pick what they're wearing.  When do you get your custom dress?