Moh Question

[diadiamond]

Hi Brides:

 

So I have a bridal party, but I chose not to have a MOH because I didn't want the disappointment of my MOH not being able to make it to my wedding and because I didn't want to put the friendship of one girl above the others.

 

Anyways, one of my girls (we've been friends since middle school) she hasn't booked with my TA for my wedding, but says she's coming and she's already bought her outfit and stuff already.  She has been super helpful to me through my planning process.  I wasn't planning on having a bridal shower because I've had a rough year and I just don't have the budget to throw one for myself.  My mom had offered to throw one for me, but she bought a house and has to pay the government back for income taxes this year, so she said that she no longer can because she can't afford it.  So my bridesmaid wants to throw me one and organize my bachelorette for me which I think is really nice.  I'm starting to think that I should ask her to be my MOH officially because she's been doing so much for me.  

 

What do you girls think?  

[veryvalentine]

She's certainly stepping up to the plate like an MOH.   

 

If you feel like you want to ask her than I would say go for it.  I asked my sister to be my MOH and she's really the one that has stepped up to the plate and I expected that, i mean she's my sister.   

 

I know what you mean about ranking people and maybe having the other girls feel like she's above the others...so it's completely up to you!   

 

Is she already a bridesmaid?  I just wanted to ask that to clarify because I wasn't sure after re-reading your post.   

[calgarybride2015]

I totally understand you on the not wanting to rank people.  I was the same way, I think I asked everyone as a 'bridesmaid' but in the end I had one of my sisters and two friends, so in Mexico my sister was like my MOH as she signed with us and what not. Given she was my sister I would have to assume noone felt under her, she's my sister! That said, she didn't live here only one bridesmaid did and bless her heart for all she did for me -- threw my bachelorette, came to all my appointments, offered opinions and such!  She was a god send!      I actually didn't choose my bridal party until I knew who was coming, this was HARD for me. I didn't want people to feel the added pressure of having to come to Mexico.  Other than my old best friend drama, everyone I had in my mind did end up coming so it worked out well

 

Given that she has bought her dress and such, you would think she would be booking soon. When is your deadline?  I think if you want her to be your MOH then you should just go for it.  She has been doing so much for you and she clearly loves to help, so I am sure she would feel honored. 

[diadiamond]

She's certainly stepping up to the plate like an MOH.

 

If you feel like you want to ask her than I would say go for it. I asked my sister to be my MOH and she's really the one that has stepped up to the plate and I expected that, i mean she's my sister.

 

I know what you mean about ranking people and maybe having the other girls feel like she's above the others...so it's completely up to you!

 

Is she already a bridesmaid? I just wanted to ask that to clarify because I wasn't sure after re-reading your post.

Oh I guess I didn't mention it properly in my first post, sorry about that. But yes she's already a bridesmaid.

 

 

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I totally understand you on the not wanting to rank people. I was the same way, I think I asked everyone as a 'bridesmaid' but in the end I had one of my sisters and two friends, so in Mexico my sister was like my MOH as she signed with us and what not. Given she was my sister I would have to assume noone felt under her, she's my sister! That said, she didn't live here only one bridesmaid did and bless her heart for all she did for me -- threw my bachelorette, came to all my appointments, offered opinions and such! She was a god send! I actually didn't choose my bridal party until I knew who was coming, this was HARD for me. I didn't want people to feel the added pressure of having to come to Mexico. Other than my old best friend drama, everyone I had in my mind did end up coming so it worked out well

 

Given that she has bought her dress and such, you would think she would be booking soon. When is your deadline? I think if you want her to be your MOH then you should just go for it. She has been doing so much for you and she clearly loves to help, so I am sure she would feel honored.

She didn't book with my travel agent because of the price and she thought she would get accepted to Grad school and wasn't sure about coming. In the past few months she's been more excited than I have lol. She's definitely helped me out a bunch so I feel like she deserves it. Also she's the only maid that's on my side. The other bridesmaids are my fiancé 's friends. A lot of people who didn't book with my TA said they would book on their own she hasn't booked yet though. I think she's waiting for last minute deals.

 

 

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Edited April 29, 2015 by diadiamond

[TinkerSofi]

I think if you feel like she should be MOH you should ask her! Sometimes even though you plan things one way, some people really step up to the plate and fill those shoes without any pressure from you. I know it feels like you're ranking people, but for those who aren't stepping up as much I'm sure they're ok with not being MOH because perhaps they wouldn't like all the work anyway . Sometimes you have to go with the flow

 

In my case, I asked my two closest friends to be MOHs and the reason why I did that was because one is in Argentina and the other one is in Canada. I thought the one in Canada would be available for a lot more things because she's geographically close, but as always, life has a way of surprising you. It's actually been my Argentina MOH who has stepped up to the plate with everything, even though she's in another continent! It's really no wonder we've been friends for 15 years . Sometimes people will surprise you and I think you need to be open to those situations and change your plans accordingly. In my case, I'm not going to demote anyone haha but in your case it's much easier to promote someone to MOH and I'm sure she will be glad with the recognition for all the work an effort that she has already put in.