Snswedding2016 Planning Thread - Jan 9 2016 (Azul Fives)

[Wafflesmom]

I love your dress, it's gorgeous!

 

It looks like you've successfully crossed off a lot on your list, yay!!!

 

As for your mom, I really do hope it all goes well for her. I agree with your decision for now in that traveling may not be best for her. Her health is so important and at least she'll get to see you legally get married. Plus, she can always watch your wedding online. She's your mom, she'll always be with you

[snswedding2016]

@@calgarybride2015 I definitely would consider that, the only thing is that all of the houses where we could do it are so far from where we want to have dinner. I'm trying to cut down the travel time. I think the office might be a good compromise and since we'll be closed for the holidays, I can actually go in ahead of time and decorate it a bit with candles etc. It does have sentimental value as that's where Sean and I met. 

 

@@Wafflesmom Thanks! I'm really excited about this dress! You are so right about her always being with me. I think she's getting excited about the legal ceremony too! We have another doctor's appointment next week so we'll at least be able to start nailing down some dates and figure out if we should actual cancel her trip. 

 

I've gotten quite of few things done here at the office today!   ...but of course I'm adding to my to do list!

 

Legal Ceremony

-Set date for legal ceremony and dinner (after my mom's doctor's appointment), choose venues!

-Marriage License

-Finish legal ceremony script, confirm with officiant

-Alterations for legal ceremony dress - Monday!!

 

 

Mexico Wedding

 

-Finish DIY projects ("S&S" letters, magnets, love quotes on vellum, escort cards, kids activity book) 

 

-Assemble welcome bags 

 

-Finish and print paper items (menu, welcome letter, itinerary etc)

 

-Get additional centrepiece items (need more books, candles and pedestals) 

 

-Finish symbolic ceremony script & write our vows. Finishing the script tonight with Sean!!

 

-Final dress fitting/alterations

 

-Get additional luggage (find out updated luggage allowance from transat) Ordered the luggage through airmiles!! I'm really happy with the deal. Normally this set goes for 5300 miles but got it for 2650! It has really good reviews online so I'm excited to try it out! 

 

I also order a similar bag to the one that @acw27011 got! 

 

-Book Sean's parents flights to Toronto & hotel - We're pretty close to booking the flights, found some reasonable ones but we're just checking on a couple of details. Apparently WestJet is no longer paying TAs so now they have to charge a ticketing fee! I have to check with my wedding TA about this because I'm really surprised. Unfortunately we have to used a separate TA as we have a travel voucher from this specific agency, the downside is that this TA is not great at all! I'm so glad I decided not to go with her to book the wedding!! We did book the hotel today. We have them booked at the same hotel as Sean's brother (which is good) and we were able to get them a senior rate that comes with a full kitchen and sofa bed. I'm now considering staying out there with them the night before the wedding as it's so close to the airport. I feel like that way I won't be stressed about travel time. Sean's hesitant because his parents snore - LOL!

 

-Finish playlist and start putting it together. 

 

-Write vows (how did I not include this on the first list??)

 

I'm sure there's more ...to be continued..

 

I'm now off to go to David's bridal to pick up my maid of honour's dress 

 

-

[snswedding2016]

So I had a bit of a rough weekend with wedding stress. A couple things came up at the end of last week that blew up over the weekend and I had a bit of a meltdown last night. Feeling better today but still feeling the stress and time ticking by.

 

Issue #1 - Difficult groomsman 

 

So one of Sean's groomsman has been a bit difficult during the wedding planning this past year. When we first sent out the email about the wardrobe for the guys, he tried to convince me for a while to change the colour. All we are asking for is a pair of grey pants under our group name at Moores (that has a 40% discount) - simple right? Apparently not. He kept going on and on about how he thought getting a blue suit would look really nice. I put my foot down and said we wanted the guys in grey. After a while he dropped it.

 

The next thing he brought up was how he really wants to get a full suit from Hugo Boss (because that's one of like 3 stores he'll shop at...) and match it to our pants. I told him that would only be ok if it matched exactly. He told me to get him a swatch from Moores so he could match it....umm why do I have to get you the swatch when you're blatantly going against what we've asked you to do. I gave all the guys a suggested deadline of when to buy their pants and left it at that.

 

Over the last couple of weeks Sean and I have talked about it and decided we would rather have everyone dressed the same way. So I told him that we would rather he just get the same pants as everyone else but he never responded back to me and instead went straight to Sean to try and convince him otherwise. That made me pretty upset. It was like he asked "mom" for something and she said no so he's going to "dad" to get a different answer. I found it really childish. Sean talked to him and in the end he said he would get the pants that we wanted. I bit my tongue and didn't say anything to him about not responding to me but instead tried to take the higher road and keep on going.

 

I had to ask him some other questions about the rehearsal dinner. He told me that he would prefer if the rehearsal dinner was between 7-8pm, no explanation of why. .....Who requests timing of events when it isn't even your wedding??? I told him it was at 6:30pm and that we would need him for a short rehearsal ceremony that afternoon as well and then he proceeded to complain about losing beach time. I was frustrated! The last straw was when he asked Sean again for a swatch of the fabric when I thought we had decided he was going to just get the stupid pants we already talked about. This simple thing has turned into such an ordeal and it is just becoming all about him. I asked Sean if he would ever make any of these demands as a groomsman. He saw how much of a jerk was being about everything and had another talk with him. The next day I get a text in the morning saying "Hey, I heard you were mad"...no apology just him trying to justify his actions. I told him that it's plain and simple, you go into the store give them the group number and style name and buy the pants. You don't need a swatch for anything. He told me to "calm down and not have a heart attack" and that set me over the edge. It made me so angry and I called him out for being childish by not responding to me and running to Sean when I didn't say what he wanted to hear. I told him if he didn't like what I was saying to at least grow a pair and say it to my face. I told him I was tired of making all sorts of accommodations for him for my own wedding. Of course he didn't respond to that! Gah! So frustrating that I have to deal with something as stupid as buying a pair of pants. 

 

There is one close friend who is coming to the wedding but we didn't include in the bridal party...we just had too many people. Now I'm wishing we chose him over this guy.

 

Issue #2 Sean's dad passport and paperwork issue

 

On our invitations we sent out over a year ago it had on there "If anyone is travelling on anything besides a Canadian passport please contact Karen immediately". No one said anything. We found out this week that Sean's dad is travelling on a British passport. I knew he was born in England but didn't even think about double checking his passport as he's been here since the 60s!! He British passport is valid so that's not an issue but you do need a Permanent Resident card to re-enter the country. This is what he is missing!! Normal processing takes 100 days for this card and I know some people who have had to wait even longer for it. There is an urgent processing route but it doesn't guarantee you any kind of timeline. We're hoping that Sean's mom who has some connections can pull some strings and expedite this process. Right now we can still get a full refund (minus deposit) until Nov 22, after that we lose 50% (and deposit). Unfortunately I don't know when we're supposed to make the call. The other thing is that we're flying them to Toronto first. I was about to book the flights when this came up. 

 

Now not only is my mom potentially not going to be there but Sean's dad may be in that same boat. I'm feeling really stressed and anxious about all of the issues coming up all at once. Sean and I are on a detox for the wedding but we broke it last night and had a glass of wine...I needed it! 

[snswedding2016]

@ Thanks! I know, so frustrating right?!? I don't think you sound harsh at all...you sound like me...or maybe we both sound harsh haha! 

 

I just don't have the patience for people making it all about them and demanding all sorts of things, it really shows disrespect to the couple I think. If you're going to be disrespectful I feel like saying, don't even bother coming. 

 

I'm really hoping Sean's dad's paperwork comes through too. Our backup plan is to fly them here for a couple days for the legal ceremony if he can't go. The only problem is deciding when to make the call to cancel the trip. 

[Wafflesmom]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear you've had a rough weekend, hugs and positivity coming your way from Vancouver.

 

Good for you for putting your foot down and confronting that annoying groomsman. Ugggh, I was so annoyed while reading your post. He's got some nerve demanding things. Just shut up and go with the flow buddy. No one's gonna care what label he's wearing anyways, he does know that he's not the focus of the wedding right?

 

And I'm sorry to hear about the complications with Sean's dad. That's so frustrating that it would just come up now. I hope it all works out and he can still make it

 

Good call on the wine!

[vancouverpetunia]

@@snswedding2016 - Seriously! What is with Sean's GM? That's super annoying. I try to remember that it's our big day, not theirs (ie any guest), so they probably don't see it they way we do, but still... The things he's questioning should be unimportant to him and you and Sean have told him to drop it, so drop it already. It's a freaking pair of pants. Sheesh. Good luck. And I hope everything works out okay for Sean's dad to attend. Yikes!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[snswedding2016]

@@Wafflesmom @@vancouverpetunia Thanks ladies! I know - he is being super annoying and a jerk quite frankly. He knows he's in the wrong but won't apologize and instead thinks he can fix it by saying "take it easy" or "relax will you, you know I love you" ....anyone who knows me knows that that is a sure way to get me fired up! haha. Seriously though he needs to just say sorry or at least not make it worse and also JUST BUY THE STUPID PANTS!!! I think he mentioned to Sean that he's might go this weekend, we'll see.

 

Side note: I should also mention that this is the same guy who I let crash on our couch for 9 MONTHS!!!  

 

Update on Sean's Dad

They heard back and it should be ready in time, although they won't guarantee a date or anything. They said if we were travelling within 3 weeks it would definitely not be ready but since we have longer than that it should be fine. Fingers crossed....although Sean's mom fell last week and injured her shoulder (which is a big deal especially because she's a violin teacher) so we'll see how it all pans out. 

[snswedding2016]

LOL!! right?? He was dealing with a bad situation with his ex. We talked about our place being a home base but that he would stay at other friends as well (seeing as how we have a 1 bedroom apt). Yea...that happened maybe once or twice. His wardrobe too up WAY too much space!!! By the end of it I was tripping over all of his stuff. I was so happy to have him out of there. Don't get me wrong, I really did want to help him out but 9 months...really? My friend got pregnant and had her baby before he left lol! Now he wants to make a big deal about pants....sigh. I have bigger fish to fry than to worry about someone's pants!

[ashhtayy]

@@snswedding2016 omg I can't believe your groomsmen. I can't even imagine how I would handle that situation. I don't think I could have handled as well as you did. If what you did was harsh I'd be considered evil.

 

Fingers crossed all works out for Sean's dad.

[snswedding2016]

Updates

 

Mom

We decided to make the call this week to cancel my mom's trip to Mexico. As hard as it was to officially cancel, I do think it is for the best. We decided that we just didn't want to take any risks with her travelling. We had a tough couple of days getting used to the final decision but we're doing ok now and moving ahead with our new plans for our legal ceremony. 

 

Legal Ceremony

We were originally planning on doing our legal ceremony at the end of December so my cousin (who was supposed to be a bridesmaid but got pregnant) can be there too. There is a slight possibility that my mom's surgery could be moved to December and I didn't want to risk her not being able to be at the legal ceremony either so we decided to move up the date to Dec 5th....which means we get legally married two weeks today!!!!! ahh!! That kind of hit us last night! So now we're having a really nice and quiet ceremony with just my mom and uncle and then going out for dinner. Since we just made the decision of when this week, I've been busy trying to make sure we have all the arrangements made as it's coming up really soon. 

 

- Dress is altered

- Hair appointment booked

- Flowers ordered

- Need to make reservations today for dinner

- Finish legal ceremony script this weekend

- Still need to figure Sean's outfit for legal ceremony

- Figure out decor for ceremony venue 

 

My uncle also really surprised me, he offered to pay for a family dinner for my side of the family here in Toronto to celebrate the wedding. He didn't want us to have to pay for the dinner after the legal ceremony with my mom and him and instead he wanted to host it and take everyone out. We were really surprised and touched but did have to tell him that we wanted to keep the legal ceremony small. We did tell him if he still wanted to host a dinner (although totally unnecessary)  that we would love do it another day either leading up to the wedding in Mexico or after. He spoke to my mom about it a little more and he told her that he really wanted to do this because he felt that my cousins all had bigger weddings and he wanted to host something for us for our family. It's pretty sweet especially because this uncle is the most stoic and hard to read at times...who knew he was so sentimental.   Sean and I feel pretty honoured. 

 

This weekend I'm working on printing some of my paper items and finishing up the decor. I've finally collected enough books for our centrepieces. The guy at the bookstore asked if it was for a wedding as I brought a huge stack to the counter that were all in various shades of blue....I guess he gets this a lot.

 

I do still need to do a final count on our candles to make sure we have enough. Sean's brother is also going to be in town (the one who is our officiant). We'll be going over our script with him tomorrow!

 

Sean's sister was asking if we'll be using the app "hangouts" - has anyone used it before? Apparently it's like a group chat that you can use over wifi. I'm curious to do more research 

 

My final fitting is in two weeks (Dec 2), that week we also have the GTA brides meet up and then our legal ceremony...busy first week of Dec!!

 

More updates to come...