Bridal Party

[MNsunseeker]

I have also been going back and forth on this.  We are having a symbolic wedding in October with 18 guests.  The thought of having 6 of the 18 standing up just doesn't make sense to me.  I love your 27 dresses explanation!  Might have to use that when my mom is giving me a guilt trip about having my sister be a MOH

[ashhtayy]

I kind of wish I read this thread before I bought everything for my bridesmaid proposal boxes. I can't imagine not having a bridal party but I do worry that 6 girls + me will be very pricey. All 6 are 100% coming and because of the cost of the trip I've told my FI we have to pay for their dresses, shoes and jewelry. I will likely have to leave hair and makeup up to them because we can't afford that added expense.

 

I've been in three of my BMs weddings (or will have been come my wedding) and paid for my hair, makeup, and dress each time. My FI thinks it's crazy that as a member of the bridal party I paid for my own things. Because of that he thinks they should pay for these expenses at our wedding. I keep stressing the fact that they are paying to get to Mexico, but he argues it's a vacation for them.

 

Any thoughts on how I can convince him that this is a non-negotiable?

 

He's from BC and according to him it's unheard of for the bridal party to pay for anything aside from a generous gift and an amazing bachelor party. Whenever I've been asked to be in one of my girls bridal parties, it's an expense I expect and agree to when I said yes.

[pddcmc]

@@KatieMcBride

 

 

We aren't having a full bridal party.. my sister is standing up with me and my FI's best friend that he's known since he was in high school is standing up with him.

 

We didn't want to have to chose between friends and family, this way it made things really simple.

[acw271011]

I agree with @@pddcmc I sometimes think it's one of the things that gets lost in the planning of a DW. They're supposed to be simpler than a big wedding in your home place. Having a bridal party of 12 people doesn't strike me as "simple" somehow lol  As much as it's pretty to look at, I think having one person on each side is the best way to go.

[veryvalentine]

@@ashhtayy

 

I'm in a similar boat as you.  I initially wanted to buy the bm dresses for my bridal party.  7 girls.  But as I calculate the costs it's going to be about $455 + shipping which is another $150-$200.  I really wanted to but now so close to the wedding I'm seeing so many additional costs and I just don't think it's going to happen. 

 

I did buy my BMs a cute wristlet Kate Spade purse and KS bangle.  I am going to also give them their jewellery and possibly pay for their make up.  Not sure.

 

ah.

[beckys98]

@@ashhtayy - I've been a bridesmaid a handful of times, including MOH for my sister's destination wedding, and I've always paid for everything! I actually have not heard anecdotal evidence of bridesmaids NOT paying for their dress, hair, etc., though I imagine it happens. But a destination wedding is different - and if you can afford to help out with the costs I think that is really nice, but not necessary.

 

While we aren't doing a "formal" bridal party, we are still doing some small things to recognize our would-be bridal party. I got the girls this simple bracelet with a turquoise band and gold starfish to wear at the resort that week (our resort logo is a starfish and we're using it on a lot of our stuff). My fiance is working on some t-shirts for both the guys and girls. I also asked the girls if any of them wanted to get their hair/makeup done - completely not necessary or expected - and most of them do! So I'll have breakfast with them on the wedding day and then we'll all be together in the spa just like a real bridal party.

 

My sister (would be MOH) will be my witness, will hold my flowers, etc. etc. And we'll do pictures with them and have them sit in the first 2 rows at the ceremony - so basically we're just not asking them to wear a specific outfit and it makes it easier for everyone

[diadiamond]

We had asked 10 people to be in our wedding party and only 6 members of our wedding party have confirmed.  I chose not to have a MOH because I didn't want the possibility of my MOH not coming.  Also, I didn't want to value the friendship of one girl over the others.  We have decided to give a cash gift to the members of our wedding party that are coming to the wedding.  We are giving them $100 each.  We realize that we are asking a lot of them to come to Cuba for our wedding so we felt that a cash gift would ease the burden a bit for the cost of the trip.  I'm also letting the members of my bridal party choose their own outfits as long as they are red.  Again, I realize that I'm asking a lot of them to come and I know that a lot of my bridal party is on a budget.  One of my girls got her dress at Forever 21 for $20 and it looks great!   I will also love seeing them express their individuality on my wedding day.  My fiance has a best woman since his best friend is female.  Most of the bridal party is on my fiance's side and I haven't decided if I'll just have it be uneven (my brother and friend on my side and everyone else on my fiance's side or divide them evenly).

[TinkerSofi]

We had asked 10 people to be in our wedding party and only 6 members of our wedding party have confirmed.  I chose not to have a MOH because I didn't want the possibility of my MOH not coming.  Also, I didn't want to value the friendship of one girl over the others.  We have decided to give a cash gift to the members of our wedding party that are coming to the wedding.  We are giving them $100 each.  We realize that we are asking a lot of them to come to Cuba for our wedding so we felt that a cash gift would ease the burden a bit for the cost of the trip.  I'm also letting the members of my bridal party choose their own outfits as long as they are red.  Again, I realize that I'm asking a lot of them to come and I know that a lot of my bridal party is on a budget.  One of my girls got her dress at Forever 21 for $20 and it looks great!   I will also love seeing them express their individuality on my wedding day.  My fiance has a best woman since his best friend is female.  Most of the bridal party is on my fiance's side and I haven't decided if I'll just have it be uneven (my brother and friend on my side and everyone else on my fiance's side or divide them evenly).

that's pretty awesome that they can buy their dresses where they choose as long as it's red. It can totally be done when using a common color that you can actually find in places haha. I chose a pretty rare color so that didn't work

[snswedding2016]

@@diadiamond I'm doing something similar. We have 5 bridesmaids and 5-6 groomsmen (waiting on one confirmation). I would have been happy with two bridesmaids but my finace really wanted a larger bridal party. He initially wanted 8 and I talked him down to 6. haha. He has pretty much given me free reign to choose whatever I've wanted for the wedding so I couldn't really say no to wanting all his guys to stand up there with him. If it makes him happy, than I'm happy.

 

We are asking our bridesmaids to choose any dress as well as long as it is blue (we gave them a range of blues to choose from), the groomsmen just have to buy grey dress pants (40% off at Moores) and wear a white dress shirt (they should have their own, we're not picky about having the exact same shirt). We are giving them gifts but we're not paying for their outfits. All the weddings I've been a bridesmaid at I paid for everything (specific shoes, dress, hair, make up, spa day etc) with the exception of one wedding but the bride wanted custom made bridesmaid dresses that would have cost me $450 (her mother generously paid for it). 

Edited April 28, 2015 by snswedding2016

[TinkerSofi]

The only wedding where I've been a bridesmaid in I bought my dress, shoes and everything. I didn't get any gifts either. However, I wasn't all that close with the bride, I almost felt like I was put there because my fiance was one of the groomsmen. There were so many of us and only 2 of them were close friends with the bride. I felt like that was unnecessary on their part and I would have been totally fine had my fiance been a groomsmen but I wasn't part of the bridal party. 

 

The only reason I'm paying for my BM's dresses is because there's only 2 of them and they are both students so I didn't want to burden them with that cost, on top of the trip. Initially I was going to give them $150 towards their dress, but the dresses ended up being $160 so I was like what the hell, I'm not gonna make them pay $10 . With that said, they are choosing their shoes and jewellery. They all ended up choosing the same dress so I think it will look good even if their shoes and jewellery are different. Both of them have very different personalities so I think the accessories will show that . 

 

Both of us knew we didn't want a large wedding party because like other brides on here, if we had put everyone we wanted we'd have 2 guests sitting down haha. It's kind of a small wedding and most of the people coming are really close friends. It was hard to choose, but I chose my 2 oldest friends and my brother . Luckily, the other girls understood why I didn't have everyone up there and said that it totally made sense to them. I seriously love my friends!!