Any One Else's Fiance Stubborn?

[pddcmc]

...Mine is being a procrastinator! He hasn't even given thought to a gift!

 

AND, here's the kicker - we are only having a MOH and Best Man because we didn't want a big bridal party.. it would've been too difficult to ask which people we wanted to be in it.. SO, I mean, come on, Fiance... Just choose a freakin gift and let's move on!

[calgarybride2015]

I just wanted to share a story about these Reef sandals. My FI swears by these, and has several pairs. But he is most fascinated by the ones with the bottle opener, BOY does he think that's the bees knees. Well the practicality of such footwear was never put to the test. Until one moonlit night on the beach while staying at the Majestic Colonial for our friend's DW. We met another couple there on the beach with beer we had brought from our room fridge. Oh. But how to open such a bottle? These were not twist offs. This was his moment. The sandals! Ok.... have you ever looked at the bottom of a sandal?? A sandal with a bottle opener on the bottom also useful for prying all manner of poop and discarded gum in to it's metal clutches? Uh ya, we all rejected that idea with the swiftness. No was that shoe was touching anything that would go in to my mouth. LOL! Great sandals, exceedingly comfortable, fun conversation piece. But NOT a practical bottle opener. Our friend opened the beer with his lighter and the sandals remained untested.

Hahaha I do agree although I've used one!!! His looked rather 'clean' and it technically doesn't touch the mouth piece. Just be careful

 

I'd probably nag a bit. Sit him down and explain why this is important to YOU and how it may be perceived. I liked the 'after thought' comment above. It's a nice gesture and IMO, even more with the cost that people are paying to attend your DW. Maybe go out and look. Take pics and get pricing. I did that for my husband -- was like 'hey found a great deal on these shaving kits, want me to grab them?' But all else he did was left until like 3 days prior to Mexico. Boys will be boys.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rachelia160]

@@kcole123 Everyone has already offered great advice, but I just want to commiserate...so many guys just don't get etiquette, traditions, and nice gestures. Just trying to explain to my FI that he can't just keep verbally inviting people willy nilly because I've ordered a certain number of invitations, place card holders, OOT supplies, etc., and he's just like "Who cares? They don't care about that stuff.Why does it matter?" IT JUST DOES!!! 

 

I swear my FI likes to put up a stink about traditions and etiquette just because he finds it all annoying, but at the end of the day he doesn't really care and caves. Maybe you guy will get over it and just let you buy the watches, or go do it himself.

[marinah84]

I tell mine it's a "non-optional social convention" and that we're doing it.  He laughs, because it's a reference to the geeks on Big Bang Theory (it's how they get Sheldon to do things he doesn't see the point of) and for the most part, it works.  He's still stubborn and frugal as all get out, tho.  

[kcole123]

hahaha @@marinah84 OMG that just might work because my fiancé loves that show and his favorite character is Sheldon...hahahaha that's just too funny.

[MrsCtoB]

I feel your pain! It sounds to me like your FI is going through what mine did about 3 months out from the wedding. I think he was super overwhelmed and we were trying to do as much for our guests as we could, and ask very little of them since they made the commitment to attend. I think he felt like we were doing sooo much (and we were, as we should) that it kind of made him resentful that NO ONE was asking to help us. Not sure if that is the case with you both, but I could understand what he meant. People were asking US to do things for THEM, not the other way around (print tickets, research this, find out about that). When I finally pushed to get a direct answer about his GM gifts, he felt very nonchalant about it. Said he would figure it out and anything they get would be good enough. 

Soooo (LOL) My FI is a very black and white person. He needs to see visuals and examples. I sat him down and explained how I felt about it and that we may very well be overwhelmed, but we asked these people to stand besides us on our big day. It means something, and they have made sacrifices to do so. I left it at that and the next day sent him a ton of emails about destination wedding etiquette in regards to gifts and examples of what people give.

That pretty much did it and he apologized for being so stubborn. He came up with some awesome ideas and shopped for most of the stuff on his own.

Maybe the stress is talking when he says what he has said about them and he just needs some time (or examples lol) to come around ? 

Edited March 3, 2015 by MrsCtoB

[marinah84]

I feel your pain! It sounds to me like your FI is going through what mine did about 3 months out from the wedding. I think he was super overwhelmed and we were trying to do as much for our guests as we could, and ask very little of them since they made the commitment to attend. I think he felt like we were doing sooo much (and we were, as we should) that it kind of made him resentful that NO ONE was asking to help us. Not sure if that is the case with you both, but I could understand what he meant. People were asking US to do things for THEM, not the other way around (print tickets, research this, find out about that). When I finally pushed to get a direct answer about his GM gifts, he felt very nonchalant about it. Said he would figure it out and anything they get would be good enough. 

Soooo (LOL) My FI is a very black and white person. He needs to see visuals and examples. I sat him down and explained how I felt about it and that we may very well be overwhelmed, but we asked these people to stand besides us on our big day. It means something, and they have made sacrifices to do so. I left it at that and the next day sent him a ton of emails about destination wedding etiquette in regards to gifts and examples of what people give.

That pretty much did it and he apologized for being so stubborn. He came up with some awesome ideas and shopped for most of the stuff on his own.

Maybe the stress is talking when he says what he has said about them and he just needs some time (or examples lol) to come around ? 

 

Mine complains that the gifts for the bridesmaids take up half a suitcase, and the OOT bags the other half.  I basically told him that a good gift would be that he pay for their suits/shoes/ties.  Less than I spent on the girls, but I also like mine better?    

 

I've had more of the conversation that he needs to get me a gift.  I wouldn't have cared if I hadn't spent a lot of time working out and money buying lingerie/photographer/buying a leatherbound flat sheet thick page book for the boudoir session, plus the expensive (but amazing) cake topper that incorporatets the dogs he can't bear to leave at home. And he thought he would get away with not doing anything for our dating anniversary in January AND Valentines in February, also.  I told him I dropped about $1000 on him for those 3 things - he better come up with something good.  LOL

[beckys98]

Haha! Oh I have one too! We only got 2/3 of the way through decorating our house because I gave up. My friends are like "Oh, I wish my husband was more involved! He just leaves me to do everything!" And I warned them to be careful what they wish for. Usually he'll come around to agreeing with me in the end, but it either has to be HIS idea or he has to evaluate all options himself before coming to the conclusions that my selection was the best in the first place.

 

My favorite one is he INSISTS that we let everyone give a speech at the wedding but we limit them to 1 minute. I think this is the worst idea of all time. No one will stick to 1 minute and we'll spend the entire reception on speeches, and there is NO WAY I'm telling my dad and my sister that they each get 1 minute. A month after we got engaged my dad told me he already had his speech written! He was so excited. I'm still working on him with this one. My recommended solutions is having a microphone available at the beach party the evening before with a 30 minute "open mic" window so people can say something if they want to. Then just do dads and MOH/BM at the reception. That way it doesn't derail the actual wedding! I'll report back and let you know if I won

 

God love him, but he's lucky he loves a patient girl!

 

See, we're already learning.  Marriage is about strategy when you have a stubborn man. 

[JoannaBanana]

@@beckys98 Ha, you can do it like the Oscars and have the music cued and ready to cut them off when their time is up.

[acw271011]

Oh my gosh you ladies crack me up! It would be hilarious to look back on these conversations in 15 years when you're all old married ladies!