Any One Else's Fiance Stubborn?

[kcole123]

So girls I wanted and needed some advice on this topic. My fiancé has been great with the planning all along. Basically because he was saying "just get whatever you think." Ok will do. Well there was disagreements over the photography (too much and a pain in the ass) is his opinion. He didn't want to get favors or anything to give anybody cause he said he has never seen that at a wedding before. Keep in mind he is a man and doesn't pay attention to those details at a wedding.

 

Anyway I have my girls gifts bought and at the beginning he was saying he wanted to buy guys watches. He said probably a budget of $120 per guy. SO I went ahead and did this for my girls. Just so it's equal and fair. So now he says "awwww I don't think I am getting guys watches now." He said "maybe I will just tell them I will get them something after the wedding." Like what???? Then I said (just in case he didn't want to go shop for them). "OK hun I will go out and get their watches." He said "No, I don't want you buying my guys their gifts. I asked them to stand and I don't want you spending money on them." So hello he isn't either. He said he is waiting until after the wedding.

 

How do I get around this. He will not be happy if I walks into the door with watches for the guys knowing I bought them. Then he won't go buy them himself because he says "they won't expect anything anyway." I said "ahhhh yes they will especially if they find out the girls have something." I told him it just isn't right and it's not right. He just don't get it at all.

 

HELP people.

[acw271011]

lmao OMG! Men. Ya can't live with em and ya can't live without em.... but your sure as heck can try!! lol  Kristy - you have my sympathies for sure! Sounds just like mine. I love him to death but boy oh boy.... sometimes..... If anyone remembers the Honeymooners with Jackie Gleason... he used to say "pow right in the kisser" to his buddy and to his wife "to the moon Alice" whenever he was ticked. Sorry. I don't mean to giggle. But you're absolutely right. He doesn't get it. Very few men do, especially if it comes to spending money for something that they just don't understand. It will be like trying to run into a brick wall.

 

If you're absolutely certain you know what he would get for his guys if he was to do it himself, I would go ahead and get them and put them away. Don't say anything more until you're super close to your wedding, or until you're at the resort. You can make a big deal out of the gifts for the girls. Put the gifts together for the guys when hubby to be isn't around. If you're presenting them at a dinner or something, put it all together then take him aside and tell him "we're presenting the gifts tonight to the wedding party. The ones for the guys are here  so you can present them yourself". Don't make him look bad in front of anyone. Just take him aside and do it privately.

 

Or you can try and explain to him that it's in appreciation for them standing up with you both and spending the money to travel all the way to your wedding. They're going a long way and spending a lot of money. That it's traditional that the members of the wedding party are presented with a gift either at a dinner or on the day of the wedding and think how appreciative they will be if he presents them with a gift that they can wear at your ceremony.

 

That's the only 2 options I can think of. Hopefully the other ladies will have other ideas. I know I've saved my other half's butt a couple of times by just going ahead and doing something then just popping it in front of him when the time is required.

[kcole123]

Hahaha omg I loved watching the Honeymooners. That show was hilarious. Yup totally understand you there.

Yeah they are good suggestions for sure. I will have to think about what I am going to do. I feel wrong going behind his back when he told me not to buy them. I am hoping if I did this, that he would think once I give it to him down there, he would think I am a life saver. Haha

Yeah I mentioned to him already about showing appreciation for them standing for him and his response was "sure they aren't doing anything, they don't have to do nothing." Then that's when I said "they came up with the money to go and be there on your specialt day." He still does not get it.

I am hoping the closer it gets for us to leave he will realize that he will feel bad if he doesn't have anything for them and I know he will. He is just stubborn as they comes.

[JoannaBanana]

I have a stubborn one too.  Not in this way, but in his own ways.  If it were me I would keep pressing the point.  Some might call that nagging.  Well, we pick and choose our battles.  I think this one is worth fighting. 

Also there's a way of executing one's nagging.  I would find a bunch of nice watches online in his price point and keep presenting them to him to select. 

[acw271011]

Oh she's goooooood! lol  Yeah I like the nagging bit. That works for me! lol  And yes you can be careful how you nag. Absolutely! But it might also be a good idea to wait a week or so before you start.... lol

[JoannaBanana]

See, we're already learning.  Marriage is about strategy when you have a stubborn man. 

[nadiakat17]

Haha this sucks! I bought my FI groomsmans gifts bc he was like meh but good thing he let me do it. He may be pissed if you go behind his back... No good solution! I think just telling him that it's important and that he already told u he would do it , and say you'd be willing to buy them . Maybe offer other gift suggestions. I bought them Reef flip flops that have bottle openers on the sole and I found a travel bartenders kit with foldable shot glasses etc with room to zip up 3 mini liquor bottles... I think they'll love it . Just tell him it's tradition and most guys that have been to weddings before would probably expect a gift so it's just bad etiquette to not do it plus it reflects poorly on you

[cruisebride2016]

Here is a website you could show your fiance to show him that it is expected to give gifts:

 

http://www.askmen.com/money/how_to/the-groom-s-guide-to-gifting-etiquette.html

[TinkerSofi]

My fiance is seriously the king of pig headedness. I call him the no man because he will say no to everything first and then when he says yes he finally agrees with me or he has fun. 

 

The way I'd deal with this with my fiance, I would be honest with him and don't budge. Tell him that you refuse to go through that awkward moment of the guys finding out that the girls got something and they didn't. I would also feel bad because if they get something afterwards it almost feels like it was an after thought. At least for my fiance sometimes it helps to ask him how he'd feel, even if he wasn't expecting anything, to find out that other people got something and he didn't? that usually does the trick with him . 

[JoannaBanana]

Haha this sucks! I bought my FI groomsmans gifts bc he was like meh but good thing he let me do it. He may be pissed if you go behind his back... No good solution! I think just telling him that it's important and that he already told u he would do it , and say you'd be willing to buy them . Maybe offer other gift suggestions. I bought them Reef flip flops that have bottle openers on the sole and I found a travel bartenders kit with foldable shot glasses etc with room to zip up 3 mini liquor bottles... I think they'll love it . Just tell him it's tradition and most guys that have been to weddings before would probably expect a gift so it's just bad etiquette to not do it plus it reflects poorly on you

I just wanted to share a story about these Reef sandals. My FI swears by these, and has several pairs. But he is most fascinated by the ones with the bottle opener, BOY does he think that's the bees knees. Well the practicality of such footwear was never put to the test. Until one moonlit night on the beach while staying at the Majestic Colonial for our friend's DW. We met another couple there on the beach with beer we had brought from our room fridge. Oh. But how to open such a bottle? These were not twist offs. This was his moment. The sandals! Ok.... have you ever looked at the bottom of a sandal?? A sandal with a bottle opener on the bottom also useful for prying all manner of poop and discarded gum in to it's metal clutches? Uh ya, we all rejected that idea with the swiftness. No was that shoe was touching anything that would go in to my mouth. LOL! Great sandals, exceedingly comfortable, fun conversation piece. But NOT a practical bottle opener. Our friend opened the beer with his lighter and the sandals remained untested. Edited March 3, 2015 by JoannaBanana