How To Stress To Guests Must Book Soon. Booking Deadline Soon

[misbosox]

Our room reduction deadline is about 6 weeks away in March. If we reduce prior to it we can do so without penalty. Our wedding is June. We sent our save the dates 15 months in advance with link to our wedding website with info on booking/pricing. We sent our invites back in December. Only few RSVP have trickled back.

We invited 87, 64 said they were definitely going. Only 17 guests have booked (9 rooms = 41 total nights).

We just had two groomsmen pull out and one couple say they can't go due to unexpected finances (which is funny cuz he inherited thousands of $$$).

 

 

How should I word an email or Facebook message to our guests to nicely ask them to be honest if they are going or not. Plus get them to start booking or at least put a deposit on their room?

I've been stressing for a while about this. Now my fiancé is sad/upset cuz more than 1/2 his friends just pretty much backed out. Sucks, we have gone to all these friends own DW but all are bailing on us. Plus my fiancé is paying for his own bachelor party and hotel for his friends traveling in town. More than 80% aren't coming to our wedding!

 

Just so frustrated. Any suggestions how to word this to everyone to tell us yes/no and to let them know must book soon.

I have 14 that RSVP back saying they are going (7 couples) but having bad feeling. Just praying to get to at least 60 nights total booked.

 

[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

You have a lot of time before you need to do anything. Your concerns are valid, but don't take the things like your friends or bachelor parties and mount that on top of your wedding RSVP deadline. My wedding is in June my RSVP date is March 1st. I feel your pain, truly I do.

 

Just wait about a week before RSVP date and send an email text saying something general like " don't forget March xx is the date to RSVP " and let it go.

 

Remember that you gave them an RSVP date that is currently 6 weeks away so.... Allow them time to RSVP.

 

Not everyone cares about your wedding like you cared about theirs. And nobody cares about your wedding as much as you do. But bet your ass the ones who do come love you whole heartedly. Smile.

 

Support your man and relax give it up to whatever higher power you honor.

[calgarybride2015]

I agree. It is very hard to sit and wait. I was in the same boat. At one point I assumed no one was coming but then 44 did.

6 weeks is still a lot of time, though it's hard to see. I kid you not that almost all of our guests booked in the last 1-2 days.

We sent out a reminder email/text about 2 weeks before and then 1 week before. We just reminded them that the booking deadline was xx and after that the price would be gone and no spots could be guarenteed.

I then went on those numbers and ordered a few extra favors, etc. We had 4 or 6 people book last minute but our final cut off was about 1.5 months before or when I ran out of seats (didn't want to start a 5th table). We actually had to turn down 2 people but that came up only 4 days before we left!!!

You can only do so much but I know how stressful and frustrating it is. Hang in there.


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Edited January 26, 2015 by calgarybride2015

[TinkerSofi]

I totally agree with these ladies. The waiting sucks because you want to have final numbers yesterday haha but you have plenty of time before you need to harass them .

 

I had the same experience as Calgarybride. No one was booking and 3 weeks before the deadline it was just us, our families and 2 other couples. I had even come to accept that no one would come! I sent a reminder text to everyone about a week before and everyone booked in the last 2 days! Haha. For now just try to relax and trust your friends who are saying that they will come. Everyone will leave it to the last minute no matter how set they are in coming.

 

As for your fiance's friends I know it's a bummer. We still don't know if half my fiance's friends are coming or where they're staying. A quarter are not coming for sure but such is life. He was a bit disappointed too at their bs excuses but it's not about you and there is nothing you can do. It's the risk we all take doing a DW. I agree that it sucks that they're coming to the free bachelor party and not to the wedding but that is also the risk you take. I'm sure all my fiance's friends would have gone to a free bachelor party too but I doubt their answer to the wedding would have changed . Just be there for him and tell him to focus on the people that are coming.

 

 

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[beckys98]

@@misbosox and @@TinkerSofi I'm kind of like your fiances in our scenario...We are tracking at 80 guests and it looks like I'm only going to have 4 friends there, and one of them is my sister so she wasn't really optional! But the real kicker is that when we look through our list of invitees the only ones who haven't even made reference to the wedding invitation at all are MY friends. It makes me sad that I invited long time friends to my wedding a year in advance and none of them have even dropped a "Hey! So excited for you! I'd love to be there..." Just silence.

 

On the flipside, like every single one of my fiances friends - even ones we haven't seen in years - are coming and have put deposits down. Sure makes my friends look especially crappy.

 

That said...we've been together long enough that his friends ARE my friends and I feel so fortunate that we have approx 80 loved ones coming to spend the week with us. While I will no longer extend the effort I once did with some of my "friends" I don't feel like I'm missing out. And I hope your fiances feel the same way! After all...there is no more yours and mine...only OURS!

[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

Well my only sibling, (my older sister) and my mother are not going so everyone going IS optional. Be thankful you even have any people coming. Let's count our blessings.

 

I know it hurts , but seriously brides and grooms have got to understand that it is a huge possibility to have absent loved ones before they take that leap to have a destination wedding.

 

As much as it kinda is a bummer remember something- you could have your wedding at home if it bothers you that your friends/family can not attend.

 

Promise I'm not being mean, just want everyone to look at it differently. Your following your heart to have a wedding you want and that is beautiful.

 

I can't judge people for not coming, not even my own mother; I know if I wasn't having a destination wedding she would be there.

 

I hope that everyone will be satisfied with their wedding. And try not to get too upset with your friends or family, after all they will have to live with regret, not you. Be gracious.

[cassie06]

I agree! @@misbosox

 

My wedding is the week prior to yours and I gave my guests a March 1st rsvp deadline and just sent my invites out last week. This gives me a month to "push/remind" the people that haven't booked before I have to "drop" rooms on April 7th. (I say that because lets be honest, just because you send me my RSVP back, it doesn't mean you have booked flights or rooms)

 

I was very fortunate that my TA allowed payment plans for my guests when they booked for the rooms. They just have to be all paid up by April 7th! So I honestly have a little more already for sure.

 

Reading @@LisaAnthonyPoppy comments just reminded me everything my FI and I already talked about and discussed and are still ok with. Of course you are going to start freaking out about the rsvp date coming up or your friends not coming but you just have to remember this is Y'ALL'S wedding! On everything I have sent out, including to my bridemaids, I have always put the same disclosure on there: Please remember that Anthony and I understand if you can't come and celebrate with us in Cabo. It is a lot of time and money to ask you to come that far. I promise we will still love y'all the same. Please just know we expect you to be there front and center at our send off party!

 

We wanted to make sure that they saw us "joking" about it and still having fun. Of course it hurts when we know that some good friends can't go... But then we remember it's about us and we honestly can't wait!

 

Hang in there girl! It'll all turn out great! Wait a week or two before the RSVP date to send out a quick reminder email about booking rooms!

[beckys98]

Oh don't get me wrong - I COMPLETELY understand if people can't come and would never hold that against them!  It is just the lack of addressing it at all that disappoints me. Going silent for 5 months after I sent you my wedding invitation is just kind of odd to me coming from long-time friends. I mean, I haven't heard a peep from these people at all, let alone about the wedding. A couple I've even followed up directly with and haven't gotten a response. It is what it is, of course, but not what I was expecting!

[calgarybride2015]

Oh don't get me wrong - I COMPLETELY understand if people can't come and would never hold that against them! It is just the lack of addressing it at all that disappoints me. Going silent for 5 months after I sent you my wedding invitation is just kind of odd to me coming from long-time friends. I mean, I haven't heard a peep from these people at all, let alone about the wedding. A couple I've even followed up directly with and haven't gotten a response. It is what it is, of course, but not what I was expecting!

I had some of that. Totally frustrating.

 

 

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[nadiakat17]

I think we all have those. I guess some people just like to avoid things. I wonder how they function at work. For one of them we said " since you havent responded we're assuming you can't come which is fine but please just let us know because we are ordering stuff" that seemed to work bc then they didn't feel as guilty for saying no ?