Sad With Most Not Coming

[misbosox]

We have been engaged since fall of 2013. We decided to do our wedding this June to give everyone enough time to save and plan. We had about 87 guests saying they were wanting to go, 65 of them kept saying definite. Then this August we had 4 sets of friends all get engaged and 3 of them are having their wedding right before ours. Two in different cities. So with that we figured those couples were out. Luckily one of them still coming to ours. Last month we had two groomsmen pull out since their wives just got pregnant which is understandable. I have one bridesmaid who been playing phone tag with so gonna guess she's out. Now we just had 4 sets of friends say cant go now. One of which my fiancé so mad about. The friend excuse in expected finances, but the friend just inherited thousands of $$ plus sold his car for $45,000. Been going on other trips but can't go to ours for 3 days Cuz expenses! Just sucks, we know we probably won't make our 75 nights needed for unlimited events at palace. I'm praying we at least make 60, but might not. What sucks more my fiancé's friends are all coming to tx from out of state for his bachelor party and HE is paying for it!!! He's paying over $500 to put them all up at hotels here and more than half aren't even going to our wedding now. Just so bummed and mad. We have flown and gone to every single one of these peoples weddings and most have been DW also. My poor fiance was so upset today about it. Never seen him so sad about something before.

[nadiakat17]

I totally know how this feels, similar things happened to me. People kept dropping out and the worst was when they cried money but I saw them making lavish purchases. My FIs friends all backed out last minute even after we put money down for them. I really wanted to email them and yell at them bc I could tell my FI was heartbroken even though he wouldn't admit it. I guess it's nice to know my loved ones aren't the only ones who stink. This seems to be a universal problem, I dont know if I am going to be able to forgive some of these people. In the end I just take deep breaths thinking there are people who care about me who are coming and its going to be a great wedding and so much fun and maybe a bit cheaper now too!!

[acw271011]

This situation keeps coming up with a lot of brides here going through the same thing. It's difficult for sure. People love weddings because they get beautiful surroundings and a meal that they don't have to pay for! That may be oversimplifying but that's what it is. When it comes to a DW, unless it's something that fits with other people's plans, or they're super close to you, it's tough to get people to go. I can definitely sympathize. Been there, done that and ended up being just my husband and I.

 

You need to keep holding on to the fact that you're marrying the man you love in a beautiful setting. The people that do show up are the ones that you know care a lot about you. Having a DW is a difficult decision but people not attending is part of the deal. It's not a direct reflection on you. It's just that your wedding isn't as important to them as it is to you. It will all work out in the end and you'll have a beautiful wedding!

[rachelia160]

I know what you mean, it's so hard to see my FI bummed out about his friends not coming.  The other day when his parents' asked who his groomsmen were, he said "None of my best friends cause they're not going." He then felt bad and backtracked because he still has five groomsmen going--his cousin (best man), my brother, his friend (but far from one of his closest friends), his friend/coworker (again, a friend but not someone he really sees outside of work, who is going because we're friends with the entire family), and my friends' boyfriend, who he's getting to know but he basically just asked because he's already going to be there --but I know he's still really sad about his two best friends not going.  One of them has a baby on the way in March (surprise!), which is obviously understandable, and in theory the other one might still book, but he's basically just not putting the time or effort into figuring it out.  Every time we asked if he's coming he just says "I dunno, I dunno."  There's no "issue" behind it--to be frank, he's just too lazy to call, book, get a passport, etc. It's frustrating feeling like we're being strung along--if you're not going to go, just say "No" so we can start getting stuff ordered!

 

To an outsider, it would probably seems rude for me to be upset about people not spending over a thousand dollars to be at our wedding, and maybe it is, but it's still hard to see my FI so upset that his best friends won't be at his wedding

[Msmimi]

The two most important people will be there!