The Rapid Of Declines Rsvps Are Coming In...

[hellosassypants]

I know it's expected when it comes to a DW. They are not cheap and not everyone can attend. I think within the past week, I have already received 3 declines RSVP before I even ordered the wedding invitations. I know it's expected and all but I'm trying not to let it bring me down. Some has given me a reason why they can't make it and some just said "We can't attend." It's making me feel like not ordering the "invited amount" of invitations knowing I already know their answers. (Save some paper and $$$, should I?) Some guests asked me to remove them off their email list because they can't make it and I don't want to make them upset by sending them an invitation. 

 

Completely normal to feel bummed. 

[lydiasusi]

I know it's expected when it comes to a DW. They are not cheap and not everyone can attend. I think within the past week, I have already received 3 declines RSVP before I even ordered the wedding invitations. I know it's expected and all but I'm trying not to let it bring me down. Some has given me a reason why they can't make it and some just said "We can't attend." It's making me feel like not ordering the "invited amount" of invitations knowing I already know their answers. (Save some paper and $$$, should I?) Some guests asked me to remove them off their email list because they can't make it and I don't want to make them upset by sending them an invitation. 

 

Completely normal to feel bummed. 

It is a bit of a bummer when people you would like to celebrate with you, can't make it due to other engagements, or they just can't afford it.

 

Two of my best friends are not coming to my wedding, which was a total let down, but you know what, the people who want to be there will be there.  

 

Our list dwindled from 20 people, down to about 12-13 people, not including us. 

 

My soon to be husband has corrected me a handful of times, reminding me that the only people who attend that matter, is the two of us.

 

I know it's stressful, but please keep in mind, that the reason that you are getting married, and the most important person to be there with you, is the man by your side. 

[kellymiller]

At least you have gotten some RSVP's back! We invited 80 people and have 23 booked. We only received 5 No RSVP's, so at least you know that they won't be attending. I know it sucks that not everyone can make it for some reason or another, but I doubt you will even notice they aren't there on your big day!

[hellosassypants]

It is a bit of a bummer when people you would like to celebrate with you, can't make it due to other engagements, or they just can't afford it.

 

Two of my best friends are not coming to my wedding, which was a total let down, but you know what, the people who want to be there will be there.  

 

Our list dwindled from 20 people, down to about 12-13 people, not including us. 

 

My soon to be husband has corrected me a handful of times, reminding me that the only people who attend that matter, is the two of us.

 

I know it's stressful, but please keep in mind, that the reason that you are getting married, and the most important person to be there with you, is the man by your side. 

 

^ This! It makes absolute sense! I'm trying to think of it that way. We are still going to have a good time regardless! 

 

At least you have gotten some RSVP's back! We invited 80 people and have 23 booked. We only received 5 No RSVP's, so at least you know that they won't be attending. I know it sucks that not everyone can make it for some reason or another, but I doubt you will even notice they aren't there on your big day!

 

Ditto! Thanks! I'm feeling a bit better though. I'm going to go ahead and send the invitations to the declined people. To let them know we were still thinking of them and I will also include a note that they will be missed. 

[acw271011]

Ladies - I can totally sympathize. Our entire group ended up as a no go and it was just hubby and me in Jamaica. And he was the one that pointed out to me that it was our wedding and that the only two important players were the two of us.

 

It's tough. And yes it hurts. I've said it before - we want everyone to be as happy as we are but guess what - it doesn't happen and that's no reflection on any of us. It is what it is. Be happy that you're getting people going with you and understand how much they love you for going. Understand also that for some people the financial commitment is just too much.

 

Hang in there. It will still be beautiful, I promise! Happy planning!

[nadiakat17]

It's hard for sure. At first I was upset at all the nos. now I'm more upset at the people who didn't bother to say anything at all. It is frustrating when you see them take trips ( um one friend is going on a yoga retreat to the same city a month prior!) and spend money and think, wow I guess it wasn't worth it to them. But then I think of the other people that are spending money and effort to come and I need to feel happy about that. I still get to have my dream wedding and vacation, what more could I really want?

[hellosassypants]

Ladies - I can totally sympathize. Our entire group ended up as a no go and it was just hubby and me in Jamaica. And he was the one that pointed out to me that it was our wedding and that the only two important players were the two of us.

 

It's tough. And yes it hurts. I've said it before - we want everyone to be as happy as we are but guess what - it doesn't happen and that's no reflection on any of us. It is what it is. Be happy that you're getting people going with you and understand how much they love you for going. Understand also that for some people the financial commitment is just too much.

 

Hang in there. It will still be beautiful, I promise! Happy planning!

 

Oh no!  I'm so sorry that your entire group did not attend. I am an emotional person so I overthink everything. I try not to let it get to me personally but I will not let it make me regret doing a destination wedding. It's for me, FI and our daughter. 

 

It's hard for sure. At first I was upset at all the nos. now I'm more upset at the people who didn't bother to say anything at all. It is frustrating when you see them take trips ( um one friend is going on a yoga retreat to the same city a month prior!) and spend money and think, wow I guess it wasn't worth it to them. But then I think of the other people that are spending money and effort to come and I need to feel happy about that. I still get to have my dream wedding and vacation, what more could I really want?

 

The more I think about it, it's less people to entertain.  I could barely entertain the amount of people at my daughter's birthday party so the declines to our wedding aren't too bad now. I get it, I don't know some people's financial/personal situations. It's definitely our dream wedding and vacation. I'm in need of vacation anyways! 

[beckys98]

I have to say I agree with @@nadiakat17 - at least they are letting you know their intentions! We sent out STDs in August for our June 2015 wedding and I have friends who have not RSVPed and not mentioned one single word to me about the wedding in the 5 months since. I've decided if you don't have the respect for me to say "Hey, thanks so much for inviting me to your wedding. Even though I'd love to be there to celebrate with you...blah blah blah..." then I'm just kinda done trying on that friendship.

 

I mean, if you KNOW you can't come, why not just say so? We requested RSVPs by February 6, so we'll see what happens...

 

It's hard for sure. At first I was upset at all the nos. now I'm more upset at the people who didn't bother to say anything at all. It is frustrating when you see them take trips ( um one friend is going on a yoga retreat to the same city a month prior!) and spend money and think, wow I guess it wasn't worth it to them. But then I think of the other people that are spending money and effort to come and I need to feel happy about that. I still get to have my dream wedding and vacation, what more could I really want?

[TinkerSofi]

Try not to get too bummed out. Those who answer right away are pretty likely to say no because it's very clear that they just can't make it, for any number of reasons. You will get to the yeses , some might be waiting for prices, or being able to get those days off work, or crunching numbers to see if they can make it and they will respond, just not as quickly as the flat out "no's".

 

I was getting pretty bummed out when some people said no too (those were the first responses we got) and I thought "no one will come!" but as it turns out, most said yes and booked with our TA and everything went quite smoothly. Then I started reframing people not coming, I thought about the money we'd save by having less people! (I feel awfully cheap saying that but hey, it was the only positive side I could find! haha)

 

Like others have mentioned, at least you're getting definitive answers, many of us have people who are still stringing us along, not sure if they're coming or not, which push you to leave a big chunk of the planning until the last minute. 

 

When it comes to invitations it's such a touchy subject. I sent everyone invitations, to my fiance's disapproval, even if they said no. When I gave it to them I told them that I knew they said no but I know some people like to keep invitations so I was giving them one anyway. that way they didn't feel pressured but they also didn't felt let out. Some people get offended if they don't get an invite (even after declining) and others don't care so it's kind of a guessing game there. I played it on the safe side but I know many brides don't send invites to the no's and everyone was cool with that. 

[calgarybride2015]

Try not to get too bummed out. Those who answer right away are pretty likely to say no because it's very clear that they just can't make it, for any number of reasons. You will get to the yeses , some might be waiting for prices, or being able to get those days off work, or crunching numbers to see if they can make it and they will respond, just not as quickly as the flat out "no's".

 

I was getting pretty bummed out when some people said no too (those were the first responses we got) and I thought "no one will come!" but as it turns out, most said yes and booked with our TA and everything went quite smoothly. Then I started reframing people not coming, I thought about the money we'd save by having less people! (I feel awfully cheap saying that but hey, it was the only positive side I could find! haha)

 

Like others have mentioned, at least you're getting definitive answers, many of us have people who are still stringing us along, not sure if they're coming or not, which push you to leave a big chunk of the planning until the last minute.

 

When it comes to invitations it's such a touchy subject. I sent everyone invitations, to my fiance's disapproval, even if they said no. When I gave it to them I told them that I knew they said no but I know some people like to keep invitations so I was giving them one anyway. that way they didn't feel pressured but they also didn't felt let out. Some people get offended if they don't get an invite (even after declining) and others don't care so it's kind of a guessing game there. I played it on the safe side but I know many brides don't send invites to the no's and everyone was cool with that.

Well said.

 

And don't feel cheap, it's actually very true hehe.

 

In the end I was greatfull to the ones who said no and graciously moved on. I hated the drama filled no's and the ones who flat out ignored it. Honestly most people booked in the last 1-2 days so try not to get discouraged yet. I thought we would be the only ones there at one point and had 46 booked (45 attended) in the end.

 

Invites are tricky. I had people flat out tell me now but then be upset when they didn't get an invite. Oh well. I say focus on the ones coming!!!!

 

 

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