Oot Bags For Strangers?

[JennyZ]

Well! I knew this would be the best place to ask! lol! I have a bit of a... Different situation. Advice or suggestions appreciated please!

 

I have invited a girlfriend to my wedding with her boyfriend (both whom are mutual friends with me and my FI). She has just announced they are pregnant (yay!) and she is still planning on coming with the baby, who will be approx. 3 months by that point....

 

However, the boyfriend hasn't asked his work to book off the wedding week and my girlfriend told me this week, that she is just going to bring his sister instead, to help her with the baby, etc. for the week. I was caught a little off-guard/surprised, especially since I dont know this girl, nor invited her to the wedding (I might be being silly here? Just thought I would be asked first is all? lol)

 

SO! I have been making up my OOT bags, which you ladies may know, become expensive VERY quickly (especially since I am doing bubba mugs for everyone and extras for all of the ladies). I was planning on 1 bag per couple, so now I'm curious if I'm suppose to be making another separate gift bag for this person I have never met???

[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

Hey there! No your not being silly. Weddings are very personal. Your feelings are normal. And probably... She could have approached you differently. Don't be too caught up on the small stuff. I've said it a million times. Anyone and everyone invited to a destination wedding should be allowed a guest. True it was her man, but now it's not and if you still want her to come it's important to be flexible, as people coming to your wedding are making a huge commitment financially and with their time. Blah lol ok now for your bags. It's a nice gesture to give them to people. And going back to your childhood remember your parents saying " don't eat a snack unless you have enough to offer everyone"? That rule kinda applies with everything in life. But I imagine you would have put 2 cups in your friends bag anyways so I wouldn't change anything just put whatever you had originally planned in the bag which would have been enough for two people... Ok I'm done lol

[kmk2016]

I agree- I think that you should put two mugs in the bag as you had originally planned when it was your GF And her boyfriend... And not get worked up over not knowing her. She doesn't need a separate bag... But including her in your gifts is a kind and appropriate gesture. If she wasn't coming and helping with the baby, your friend may not have either... So $20-$25 towards including her is a small price to pay to have your girlfriend and her baby there on your special day! You had budgeted for a guest, it shouldn't matter who that is- so long as your friend is there to support you!

[beckys98]

I would definitely look on the bright side that she has someone who isn't that invested in your wedding/group to help with the baby! That will give her some flexibility to spend time with you while her friend helps with the baby. For example, maybe the night of the wedding she'd be willing to go back to the room with the baby so your friend can stay out with you. Her boyfriend would probably have wanted to be part of all the action! I think it is GREAT that she is still coming with the baby. 

[marinah84]

Agree with all of the above! It's way cheaper than offering to pay for babysitting during the wedding and events, too.

[tygrrlily]

Agreed w/ the comments above!  In circumstances like these it's best to just be gracious.   We actually had my husband's groomsman's mom and aunt book last minute (but not w/ our group).  At first I was a bit put out that they didn't just book w/ our group because than we wouldn't have had to pay extra to invite them to events, but our friends told us that they just wanted a vacation and to help out w/ their baby (2.5 months old!) - they didn't care about coming to our events.  Well they were FABULOUS and we are so happy they came along because they helped our friends so much that they were able to still have fun at times because their baby was being looked after by someone they implicitly trusted.  They didn't even bring him to the wedding (which I would have been absolutely fine with) b/c they wanted to have fun too

 

I actually invited his mom and aunt to come to our events because we liked them so much but they declined and said they'd maybe stop by, but they just loved being at the resort, walking around, etc. 

[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

Off topic, but I couldn't relax for a second having anyone even family babysitting my children out of my sight in a foreign country. Would be a wreck the whole time.

[JennyZ]

Thank you everyone! I'm glad to get such great feedback Since I am having a rather small & intimate wedding, I am doing bigger OOT bags (guesstimating $50-$75 each) so I was just being a little hesitant, if I should make up a whole another bag for this new guest, or make one up, like I would have for the original couple. After thinking about all the positives there still will be, I will make her one of her own, to make her feel welcome and part of the group Thanks again Ladies!!!

[calgarybride2015]

Off topic, but I couldn't relax for a second having anyone even family babysitting my children out of my sight in a foreign country. Would be a wreck the whole time.

You need to let go lol. If you trust them it's no different than them being with you. They aren't venturing off the resort, they won't be doing anything unsafe, etc. You are just a jaunt around the resort away from

Them I welcomed the break 250%!!!

 

 

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[LisaAnthonyPoppy]

@@calgarybride2015 can't. I wont let anyone take my children to a different resort for the day. Anyone.