Destination Weddings Perceived As Selfish?

[TinkerSofi]

@@calgarybride2015 @@rachelia160  I agree with you guys, in the end we're all much better off without those that said no due to drama reasons (rather than financial ones, which are totally understandable). I guess Juan's friend could talk to our TA and see what happens. I know the rates are now $300 more expensive than what we paid so I don't know how much of a deal he'll get. I really hope they stay in the same hotel as us because our reception ends at 11:00 and now that they upgraded us to a suite with a private terrace we'll probably continue the party there. Unfortunately for those not staying at our hotel they need to leave as soon as the reception is done . I mean I feel bad for his friends, but I also don't think it's fair to ask people to pay another $50 plus a cab ride to go downtown and continue the party at a club when we have a perfect place in our room/the hotel club.

 

At this point his friends still don't know what they're doing, where they're staying, who they're bringing, etc. I just talked with Juan this weekend and asked him to pressure them a bit for an answer because we need to start finalizing numbers so I can start working on the rest of the planning. 

 

Anyway, this totally wen't off topic from the thread, I just needed to vent haha. Moral of the story, you won't make everyone happy and not everyone's decisions will make you happy, but I try to focus on the good things and do what makes us two happy . Juan never really cared what people thought about him, which I really admire, but I needed to work on it. 

[rachelia160]

@@TinkerSofi  Trying to organize my FI's friends has been the worst--none of his friends can plan anything more than 5 minutes in advance, so I have absolutely NO idea if he'll even have any groomsmen.  Every time I ask them if they're going, I just get "I don't know," or "Maybe." UGH!  Sorry, completely off topic but I related to wanting to pressure them for an answer.  Most brides I've talked to have had trouble getting the groom's guys to book so we're not alone.

[kmk2016]

@@TinkerSofi Trying to organize my FI's friends has been the worst--none of his friends can plan anything more than 5 minutes in advance, so I have absolutely NO idea if he'll even have any groomsmen. Every time I ask them if they're going, I just get "I don't know," or "Maybe." UGH! Sorry, completely off topic but I related to wanting to pressure them for an answer. Most brides I've talked to have had trouble getting the groom's guys to book so we're not alone.

Hang in there and try to not let it stress you out! Hopefully they get their acts together soon!!!

[rachelia160]

Hang in there and try to not let it stress you out! Hopefully they get their acts together soon!!!

 

I'm having to make the conscious decision just to let it go (cue the Frozen song getting stuck in everyone's head!) If they come, they come, if they don't, they don't--it's not worth hounding them about it, I've already tried that.  My brother and a close family friend are already booked and will be there for him so if all else fails, he'll still have two groomsmen

[jeffandrobyn]

I think that calling it selfish is not appropriate. Nobody is forcing anyone to come; the people who come are there because they WANT to be there. Just like if it were at home, you're not forced, it's just cheaper. It would however, be selfish to get upset with people for not spending the money to come (I know nobody said that but I'm just sayin'...) That's the consequence of a DW and we all knew that going into it.  

 

I haven't heard anyone call us selfish, but my MIL's cousin said to her 'that the gift she gives would've been bigger if the party were at home.' We're honestly not even expecting gifts. Flying to Mexico to be with us is a gift. 

[MissJen3]

My fiance and I were told that we were referred to as 'rude'.  The person who called us rude is my fiances sisters 'boyfriend.' What gets me is that he wasnt even directly invited. We assumed that he would be her guest, but it was never discussed, because the discussion of her bringing a friend was talked about most. The kicker is, his sister has now decided she is not going to be attending our wedding. I was floored when I found out she would not be attending because she was a big part of the planning in the beginning, and expressed how excited she was. Sean asked her if he was the one who changed her mind, she tries to reassure us that it was her decision only, and that his opinion doesnt reflect her choice, but I am not sure if I buy that completely. Worst of all, I am a little heart broken because of all the people Sean talked about wanting at the wedding was his mom,and his sister. 

Surprisingly, Sean has been the rock and reminding me that the people who will be there will try to be there, but most importantly, if only him and I are somehow the only ones there, he is completely ok with that as well. 

[Msmimi]

_{The only two that matter and you and your fiance - be happy.}

[Wrathwitch]

I feel the need to chime in here.

 

We are getting married next week in Cancun Mexico.

 

Selfish? Not wanting to stress out and pull your hair out planning a wedding? Selfish to not want to be married in the cold? Selfish to want to be totally catered to without having any pressure for wedding planning put on the family?

 

I AM SELFISH!!!

 

or WE are SELFISH!!!

 

It is OUR wedding, which celebrates the union of US. Yes he will become a part of the family but he technically isn't marrying them.

 

We figured that it would be wonderful if my parents could come, but we decided to do it regardless of whether or not it was just him and I on that beach with two borrowed witnesses. (oh and I am footing my MOH ticket fyi) and no we aren't rich.

 

What would be selfish in a bad way imo though is not giving friends and family enough advance notice to start putting some savings aside for the trip. We warned people a year in advance and sent out the invites in 8 months before the reserved date.

 

We are also holding a casual reception at our home for his family who didn't want to/couldn't go with cheese , crackers, and a bottle or two of bubbly for a toast.

 

If my friend was getting married in someplace like Maldives (I would love to go but cannot afford to) I would wish her the best and most happiness she could have as well as the most romantic and stress free wedding ever!!!

 

Selfish my a**!!!

 

I am blessed and fortunate that my family will be attending with my MOH who is a dear friend who I am excited as hell to have! Oh and a co-worker/friend is also coming.

[Msmimi]

Not selfish at all!

[M1209]

Destination weddings

Edited March 29, 2015 by M1209