Sending A Second Round Of Save The Date To Co-Workers?

rachelia160 · December 23, 2014

Hi brides!

I've read up on quite a few posts about whether or not to invite coworkers to your wedding, but I have a slight variation on that question.

I've been at my job full time for six months, but have been a summer intern for this company for five years, so I've been "around" for a while. It's a very small company--when I started, there were only five other people working here, and we just hired two more people, so we're up to seven, plus me is eight. I sent my boss and his wife (who also works with us) a save the date, but didn't bother to send them to anyone else, since it still felt sort of strange since I didn't know them very well.

Now that I've been working here a few months, I'm starting to feel a little closer with my other co-workers, especially a select few...so my question is, should I send my other co-workers a save the date now? Does it seem rude or like an afterthought to send them one after my initial round of Save the Dates? I'm not sure if they would know that I had already sent most of them out. I should also note, it would be more as a gesture to invite them to our At Home Reception--I highly highly doubt anyone will come to the DW.

Then that opens up the question of whether or not I have to invite everyone in the whole office, or just the people I interact with on a daily basis...but I'll start with the the first question. Any thoughts?

calgarybride2015 · December 23, 2014

I've always been of the thought that you only invite people who you want to be there.

If you really only want those co-workers at your AHR, then maybe you could do another invite for that? If you send them a STD for your DW you have to prepare yourself that possibly some of them will go. Is this what you want? We had people RSVP yes, that in a million years we never would have thought would come -- then had others we thought would be 100% say no.

I know a lot of people who have a tight number for their wedding do an A and B list, most people wouldn't even know they were on the B list unless they converse with people on the A list.

I don't think you need to invite the whole office, unless you want the whole office there. Weddings are for celebrating with people who mean something to you, IMO. But again, if you think you would just prefer them at your AHR then I would do something specifically for that.

Good luck

Edited December 23, 2014 by calgarybride2015

TinkerSofi · December 23, 2014

I agree with Calgarybride. I think you should invite whoever you want there. I work as a contractor and while basically the company is just me and my bosses, I didn't invite them. If they ask I'll just say it's a very private event with only family and close friends, which is true.

We had the same phenomenon, where people we basically counted out said yes and people that we thought would say yes ended up not coming, so be prepared for that if you invite your co-workers. Also, the more you invite, the more chances that one or more will say yes. I think people understand that there is a difference between professional and personal relationships and that's fine. My rule of thumb is, if you don't hang out with them outside of work they don't get an invitation.

rachelia160 · December 23, 2014

@@TinkerSofi @@calgarybride2015 You both make great points. I hadn't really thought about it relative to who I see outside of work. It's probably easier to just leave everything as is.

We haven't been very strict on our invite list throughout the proces--that is to say, my mom hasn't very strict on her invite list. I feel like she's invited everyone and their mother (sometimes literally) just to see what sticks cause she thinks it'll be so fun to have so many friends on vacation together. And I'm not complaining--I think it will be too, and my parents are footing the bill at the resort, while I'm paying for the AHR and all the other stuff, so at the end of the day it's not gonna come down too hard on me...although I'm not sure if she's really comprehended how much each person adds up, even though I've explained it. Oh well, I guess we'll see!

So far I don't think there's been anyone that I'm super surprised has RSVP'd, but there's still lots of time left!