Who Is Paying For This?

[rachelia160]

As I mentioned on one of your last posts, we're of pretty similar ages AND I'm from the midwest, so we're in pretty similar situations!

 

My whole life my parents told me and my brother that they would pay for our education, but we'd be paying for our own weddings, because that's what their parents did for them, which is more than fair.  BUT, I ended up going to college with a full ride, so my parents paid virtually nothing out of pocket.  I was completely planning on paying for our wedding myself (I have a good job and no debt), and wasn't even considering anything otherwise as we began booking and planning, but then my parents came to talk to me and said that they wanted to pay for it since they didn't have to pay for my schooling.  So, they're paying, not so much out of "tradition" but almost as a reward for my hard work.

 

That being said, they're footing the bill at the resort, but I'm paying for everything else myself (decorations, welcome bags, photographer, DJ, the at home reception, invitations, etc.)  I would just feel strange asking for money for those types of things, and I like being in control over the little extras I want to get.  People have talked a lot about the "control" issue, and I can definitely see why, but my parents' are so laid back that they couldn't really care less how I do any of it--I have to drag my mom into help planning as it is.  If if were up to them they'd show up and have everything be a surprise!

 

A lot of people are getting married a little later when their careers have already been established, so parents paying then seems a little unnecessary, so I guess it's more of a question for couples closer to our age.  Overall, I don't think there's really a "norm" anymore as far as parents' paying.  Some do and some don't, and I don't think it's strange either way.  

Edited December 12, 2014 by rachelia160

[hellosassypants]

We are both paying for the wedding ourselves. We both come from families who doesn't make a lot of money which is why we are paying for our families. If we didn't pay for the wedding, neither of our families could afford to come to our wedding. FI and I have busted our butts to pay for this wedding.

[nadiakat17]

my parents are paying for the big stuff of my wedding- food/drinks/venue. We are paying for everything else like décor, OOT bags, invites etc, because I would feel weird asking money for that. Part of the reason I chose a destination wedding is because I feel like it is silly spending 25000+ for 1 day here in the states, even if I am not paying for it. Again even though i am not paying for some things, i am still conscious of budget and am going for all lower cost things. I also am having my brother take the pictures, friend film it, and use an Ipod instead of DJ. My parents are more or less cool with anything I pick. I feel lucky they are providing me with such a gift, as we could afford to pay for it.

[Kayla88]

We are paying for our own. No one has offered to help and we never even considered asking. I figure if I want it, I save for it. Of course if they offered I wouldn't say no. The fact it's a destination wedding I am just happy people can afford to come and celebrate with us

[Stephanie2015]

Money is always a tough subject, my parents are contributing about 8,000 where as my fl side is contributing about $500. Its tough because I feel bad my parents are so willing to help, and his side not so much. I feel like I shouldn't use my parents money because it just wouldn't be fair, and it seems like my fl isn't really appreciative for their help..

[MrsCtoB]

We are paying for our wedding. I really wouldn't want it any other way. I have planned my dream wedding with every detail being exactly as I want. I know I would never be able to do that if someone else were footing the bill. I would not feel comfortable adding some of the extras that I have added if I knew it would effect someone else's wallet. 

We both work very hard and being together for 7 years now, have had plenty of time to budget. We do own a home and I still have student loans, so it can be difficult at times but for me (and this is just my personal opinion) it means more that we have saved and done this on our own. I know we will receive some monetary gifts from our parents at the wedding but to me, it is more important that they have made the effort to attend our DW and have always supported us throughout our relationship.