Pressure To Have Ath

[ANM3]

Is anyone else's family and friends pressuring them to do an at home reception? 

I am constantly being asked to have one and am feeling the pressure big time. 

Part of the reason for going away was to not have anything at home - I have a big family and if you invite one you have to invite them all, and you have to provide dinner if they are coming of from the country and from different countries...

 

Anyone have any advice on how to respond? Saying "I'll think about it" to get them to stop asking isn't going to last very long. 

[LauraM]

In the same boat as you... could also use some advice... Worst part; everyone wants us to have an AHR at OUR home because it's new and no one has seen it. hmmmmm... NO. Planning a DW is enough work/stress. I really do not need to have a 150 person party at my house following the DW. Definitely don't have time/money/desire for that. 

[kcole123]

Tell them you chose to have a destination wedding to keep costs down. Having an at home reception will just add on extra costs. That's why I decided in not having the at home reception. People were disappointed but if they really wanted to be at the wedding they would go to the destination wedding. Also of them just accepted the fact that I am not going to have one at home. It defeats the purpose of us having a destination wedding in the first place. Since me and my fiancé are not fans of big crowds and having distant cousins there. So we eliminated that by doing the destination wedding and only invited people we were really close to.

It's your big day do what you want with it. Everyone else will just have to go along with it or not go. Their choice...hahaha

[calgarybride2015]

I agree with @@kcole123.

 

To be honest, no one has asked me about an AHR.  Most of everyone in my family I want to come will be in Mexico. My fiance's side of the family is ginormous and he would like to do one back in Ontario for them after, but that is between us and who knows if/when it would happen. Will cost us A LOT of money and at this point I have no desire to discuss spending any more!!!

 

I just plan to invite a tonne of people to my bachorelette party!!  I have a lot of co workers and friends who either 1. couldn't come or 2. I just couldn't invite, so they want to celebrate and I figured this would be the best way. They suggested I have a shower but probably won't. 

[kmk2016]

We aren't having anything at home either- those who don't want to/can't travel to our wedding want us to do am AHR, but no go.

It would have made our DW irrelevant.

 

Stay firm to what you want and don't let anyone else make you do something you don't want.

 

 

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[Mrsktobe]

I always knew we would have an at home reception, as we have a large Ukrainian family and I am my dad's only daughter, however we have been being pressured to have it be this formal, grand event to the point where my mother is more excited for the AHR then she is Mexico, as she didn't "plan Mexico" and it was our choice to get married in Mexico, not theirs. I have already had to tell them to tone it down, no we are not having speeches, no we are not having a head table and no, we are not having a cappuccino bar. They are kind enough to be footing the bill for it because in their words, not ours they "want to show us off" (aka throw a party for their friends and we are just an excuse for it.. I mean that in a loving way too) but some of the stuff is getting ridiculous. My parents are trying to bribe me now, saying if they help pay for my alterations, I will have to wear my dress again 6 MONTHS LATER.

 

Didn't mean to turn that into a rant, sorry less than two months to go here All I am trying to say is put your foot down and be firm. If you don't want one, they don't have one. If you want one but want it to me low key, make that known.

[ANM3]

Wow, it sounds like you may end up having have two weddings! Careful they start excluding from planning and you'll get surprises during your AHR!

 

I will definitely have to put my foot down.....but when it comes to family it's always hard.

[TinkerSofi]

I was going to do one as well but it turns out most people are coming to the wedding and it's really not worth the money to do an AHR for a few people who couldn't make it. If I was getting married locally I wouldn't do a second wedding for people who couldn't attend the first one.

 

If you really want to avoid the topic right now and be kind of evasive, tell them that right now you're focusing on the DW and you will think about having an AHR haha. Then if they ask just tell them that you just didn't have the money for it.

 

 

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[calgarybride2015]

 If I was getting married locally I wouldn't do a second wedding for people who couldn't attend the first one.

 

 

 

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Awesome point!

[Mrsktobe]

Wow, it sounds like you may end up having have two weddings! Careful they start excluding from planning and you'll get surprises during your AHR!

 

I will definitely have to put my foot down.....but when it comes to family it's always hard.

Yep. They are starting to exclude us already.. which is really pissing off my fiancé and adding onto the mountains of wedding stress... families. God love them.