Gifts And Favours?

[Guest]

What exactly is the etiquette rule on gifts and favours when you're doing a destination wedding? I don't really want to travel with a suitcase full of some sort of tiny personalized trinket wedding favour. Can you get away with not doing favours?

 

And gifts - who are we expected to give gifts to? Can we buy our bridal party's attire instead of a gift, or do we have to give a gift on top of that? Could we pay for an excursion for the bridal party?

[calgarybride2015]

There are no rules, I think people just do what they are comfortable with!

 

If you chose to do their attire for them, that is more than enough!  I chose to do gifts instead of attire.  Everyone is different.  I know people who were in bridal parties that got nothing whatsoever, which I don't feel is right. Especially for a destination wedding when they spend a lot more time & money to come!  

 

An excursion is also a nice thank you.  Just remember, whatever you give will be a appreciated whether it be clothes, jewelry, trinkets, excursions. It's your way of saying thanks!  I think it's nice to do something they will enjoy and/or use again!

 

I know people who attended a DW and never got a favor - really everyone is different. It's what's important to you and what you are comfortable doing.  Doesn't have to big or over the top.  I was very much that way when doing favors!  Yes noone is going to use a maraca again, BUT, I decided to go for a keepsake that was cute but not over the top wedding related (ie a coaster with our picture on it - lol - no offense to anyone doing this, I was really reluctant to plaster our wedding info on things)

 

A lot of people either do an OOT idea or a favor -- some do both. It's really up to you! It's just a keepsake for them.

 

We chose to do maracas, then I got really excited about the tumbler cups so I did those too with a hangover kit inside. That was my 'splurge' item that I stretched my budget for.    I will have a lot of suitcases full of stuff that is forsure, but I am happy with what we are doing.    We decided to send the luggage tags early for the practicality of using them but also less to pack! (this was actually my original favor idea but changed my mind)

 

As for gifts - I am doing my bridal party but no parents.  Everyone will get the same wedding favors.

 

PS- I have only been to 2 weddings. One as a teenager, another as a BM. So I have no idea how things go down. I can only base it on that one wedding as an adult.  So a lot of my original decisions were based on that, but the more I go along the more I realize that doesn't have to be and/or that isn't me, etc.  Hindsite I would have sat on some decisions a little longer, but such is life.

Edited September 11, 2014 by calgarybride2015

[Mrsktobe]

I was wondering about this same questions many months ago when we were initially planning

But after talking to my sister in law, who does quite a few destination weddings as a photographer, a lot people either do one or another unless they are loaded, then they go completely over the top. But most of us don’t have millions in our back account  Rich and I chose to do the bubba kegs and a beach bag over doing favors. It just got to be too much. The bubba’s were 6.50 pp after all was said and done, so we were good with that. However, we are printing out thank you cards that will go on everyone’s table setting at the actual reception & we are having a beer seating chart, so that’s kind of a favor in itself (a cheap favor that you can drink! Whoo hoo)

 

As far as gifts, I paid for everyone’s makeup & hair ( bridesmaids, parents and what not) and got them a rollerball perfume, as well as a robe. I kind of went over the top with my gifts (ended up spending 200 pp pretty much for 8 people.. ) so take my advice and don’t go that route. Not that I don’t appreciate my bridesmaids and mom and mother in law & family but it got expensive REAL quick. Originally they were supposed to pay half for their hair but that went out the window.. so take my advice. Cause this is where we blew our budget.

[calgarybride2015]

As far as gifts, I paid for everyone’s makeup & hair ( bridesmaids, parents and what not) and got them a rollerball perfume, as well as a robe. I kind of went over the top with my gifts (ended up spending 200 pp pretty much for 8 people.. ) so take my advice and don’t go that route. Not that I don’t appreciate my bridesmaids and mom and mother in law & family but it got expensive REAL quick. Originally they were supposed to pay half for their hair but that went out the window.. so take my advice. Cause this is where we blew our budget.

 

I agree!  This is also an area where I blew my budget.  Ok hindsite my budget for my bridal party was probably a bit low.  But again, I only had one wedding to make decisions on, so I did a lot of what she did way to early on!  So I have all this stuff for their gifts, but realized getting them their jewelry/accessories was was more of what I really wanted to do.  All said and done I think I spent about $80 PP to date which isn't over the top - but trying not to buy anything else.  Good thing I'm a bargain shopper  You are a very generous person and they will appreciate it very much!!!!!!!

 

What did fiance get his men?

Edited September 11, 2014 by calgarybride2015

[Mrsktobe]

Hey at least you got it narrowed down to 80.00. I was budgeting about 100-120 and now it’s like 200.00. I told the girls I would pay for half of their makeup & hair and everyone forgot (Literally EVERYONE.. except for the one person I am paying all of it for as she is our photographer, Rich’s sister and has been a huge help. Only one who remembered) So I ended up covering it all. I was going to pay for Rich’s mom and my mom and my SIL, which would of only been 3 people but with the other girls sh*tting the bed, I had to cover everyone. And I couldn’t back out, as I had to pay half the deposit up front and then the other half before the wedding. Ugh. Love those girls but yeah, I was a bit disappointed. I am generous for sure but even a difference of a few of the girls paying the other half of their makeup and hair would of made a difference when I am living pay check to pay check paying for the remainder of the wedding  Oh well. That is life. I’m over it even though I typed all of that up there ha ha.

 

However, I did make a lot of stuff, which I can’t wait to share with all of you guys when I post my planning thread next month. SO I am crafty.. ha ha.

 

Richard got his guys their outfits.. which ended up being 150 each when it came down to it. He bought their pants, shirts and ties. I think he is going to get something small for each of them the day. He was looking at sunglasses though before he decided to get their outfits!

[calgarybride2015]

Hey at least you got it narrowed down to 80.00. I was budgeting about 100-120 and now it’s like 200.00. I told the girls I would pay for half of their makeup & hair and everyone forgot (Literally EVERYONE.. except for the one person I am paying all of it for as she is our photographer, Rich’s sister and has been a huge help. Only one who remembered) So I ended up covering it all. I was going to pay for Rich’s mom and my mom and my SIL, which would of only been 3 people but with the other girls sh*tting the bed, I had to cover everyone. And I couldn’t back out, as I had to pay half the deposit up front and then the other half before the wedding. Ugh. Love those girls but yeah, I was a bit disappointed. I am generous for sure but even a difference of a few of the girls paying the other half of their makeup and hair would of made a difference when I am living pay check to pay check paying for the remainder of the wedding  Oh well. That is life. I’m over it even though I typed all of that up there ha ha.

 

However, I did make a lot of stuff, which I can’t wait to share with all of you guys when I post my planning thread next month. SO I am crafty.. ha ha.

 

Richard got his guys their outfits.. which ended up being 150 each when it came down to it. He bought their pants, shirts and ties. I think he is going to get something small for each of them the day. He was looking at sunglasses though before he decided to get their outfits!

 

Ugh so tough - I was going to ask you if you reminded them about the money due for the hair, but I realize how uncomfortable that can be.   I ordered my BM's dresses but they knew it was their cost.  My sister paid right away, one BM shortly after, but another hasn't.  She just got her dress yesterday so I was hoping that would jog her memory but no go. Maybe she doesn't think she could just email transfer? I feel so bad to ask! Maybe in Mexico?  Would love to hear how people deal with this.   Because at the end of the day (like you) I could suck it up, BUT, that isn't fair to the rest of my BM's who did pay, you know?

 

Well my original budget was $100 total, HAHA ya right? 

 

Sunglasses are pretty pricey too, but I understand wanting something small the day off.  Honestly, I think I am going to try to give them their gifts before we leave, so less to pack - we will see, because I don't want to feel they have nothing the day of - although most of what they will be using will have been their gifts. PHEW!

 

Can't wait to see your craftiness.

[Mrsktobe]

I know right - uncomfortable. And after the whole bridal dress issue, I was like NOPE. Ha ha. funny story. One of the girls STILL hasn't ordered her dress. It's comical really.

 

Could you have one of the other bridesmaids remind her? Does she know the other girls have paid? You can always send out a mass text or FB message if not. Asking In Mexico I think is too much stress on you, you want to be able to relax.

 

Hey - at least one of us is saving money! LOL!

 

You can always give them something really small or even just pick up champagne for the morning of. I am giving my gifts (the robe, dress hanger and card) the night before but my MOH and I are picking up champagne and orange juice for mimosa's for everyone the morning of. It's something small but it might be appreciated!

[spjwedding]

im stuck too. we're doing a catamaran trip but i wanted to give a small favor like a shell-topped wine stopper and/or home made sea salt (we love wine and cooking). really not sure about this

[calgarybride2015]

I know right - uncomfortable. And after the whole bridal dress issue, I was like NOPE. Ha ha. funny story. One of the girls STILL hasn't ordered her dress. It's comical really.

 

Could you have one of the other bridesmaids remind her? Does she know the other girls have paid? You can always send out a mass text or FB message if not. Asking In Mexico I think is too much stress on you, you want to be able to relax.

 

Hey - at least one of us is saving money! LOL!

 

You can always give them something really small or even just pick up champagne for the morning of. I am giving my gifts (the robe, dress hanger and card) the night before but my MOH and I are picking up champagne and orange juice for mimosa's for everyone the morning of. It's something small but it might be appreciated!

 

I was thinking of giving them their beach bag, jewelry, shoes, etc. before we leave.  But maybe leaving their make up bag with compact and supplies for the day of.  Not sure, lots to think about.  The make up bag would be nice before they leave so they can use it!  EDIT: hmmm they aren't close enough to remind her...

im stuck too. we're doing a catamaran trip but i wanted to give a small favor like a shell-topped wine stopper and/or home made sea salt (we love wine and cooking). really not sure about this

 

If you are doing a catamaran cruise for everyone that is super awesome of you!

If you wanted to do something else, I would make it small without feeling bad!

Those are great ideas, also if you like the maraca idea it can also be done cheap. I paid $1.65 per PAIR for my maracas. Can't beat that!

Edited September 11, 2014 by calgarybride2015

[spjwedding]

@@calgarybride2015 i feel another diy in my future