Is It Rude To Not Include Both Names Of A Couple?

[Lia33]

I just received my STD's and was just wondering what the etiquette is in addressing the envelopes. My fiancé has many friends who are in long term relationships or married but isn't sure of their spouse's names.

 

Is it rude to just put the name of the friend on the envelope? Or on the invitation the name of the one we know and "and guest" or "plus one"? I feel like for the married couples both names should be included but I'm not sure if it's necessary to go back to find out their names. 

[kmk2016]

I would either put Mr and Mrs_____ or find their names (Facebook creeping or asking around- or have FI text his friends and simply say, "we are sending out our wedding std and wanted to address them correctly- and I'm having a mind blank on your wife's name"... Guys don't care about that stuff and it's better than leaving their name off the STD!

 

I would try as much as possible not to use "and guest" on the envelope... As it's impersonal.

[calgarybride2015]

I agree with @@kmk2016. 

 

I found out the names of everyone who was in a relationship.  Whether thru Facebook, asking around, or flat out asking the other person's spouse.   I had to do that anyways because I also wanted to make sure I had the correct spelling of everyone's names.

 

If you really don't know and don't want to ask - Mr and Mrs Smith is totally ok too!    Probably just easier to ask and get it now as you will need to know them time and time over thru the whole process.

 

When my friends were clearly single I put 'and guest' because what else can you do? lol.  I wanted them to know they were more than welcome to bring someone with them.

[Tiffany1221]

Exactly, getting both names will help throughout your WHOLE process. Start creeping lol

[Lia33]

Creeping it is! loll Getting my fiancé to do these things is torture LOL! You're right, guys do not care about these things. At all. Many of them are his friends so I guess the nagging begins!

[calgarybride2015]

Haha yes men! But it can be as easy as 'can you confirm the spelling of your name for me?' For ones you can't find on Facebook.

 

 

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[TheBHolders]

Yes it can be easy to find out, there's nothing wrong with asking for clarification. It would be wrong to just put one persons name... hence one of my previous posts

[LauraM]

Please do your best to get both names. My fiance and I have been together for 5 years. One of his co-workers (who I have never met) recently sent a wedding invite to just my fiance and "guest." I was so offended. I know it's petty and seems like such a small detail, but take the time to find out their names. I creeped facebook and recruited our parents to help us get everyones names and childrens names so that people wouldn't feel the way I felt. Good luck!

[VegasBride121314]

It's never a good feeling to be the plus one or guest. If you can find out the names of all the invitees, it would be greatly appreciated.  Good luck! 

[KAT2015]

I was struggling with the same thing with my guests.  My FIs family mostly lives in England, and I've never met them so it was difficult to navigate.

 

For those that are married, my FMIL actually filled me in - I sent her the list of who we had and when she sent back the addresses she included the names of the married couples.  She also let me know the best way to send along the invites to the second cousins (my FI is the same age as them and grew up with them for a bit) was to send it to the first cousins that are their parents.  Which helps me - because now I can shove a bunch in a bigger envelope!

 

When it came to anyone who I didn't know the status (and because we are so far out I didn't want to put the name of a bf/gf just in case something happens within 9 months), I addressed it to the primary invite, and let them  know that they could expect an invitation for them and a guest shortly.  That way they can pick who they want and aren't obligated to ask a bf/gf right now (where as if the name was on the envelope - awkward!).