How Hard Is It To Order A Bridesmaid Dress

[ctlind7]

Hey! I'm in your same boat... but with mine, we didn't decide until last minute which dress ended up being the "one". I gave them all 2 weeks to get measured at any salon and call in to order, which is Aug 15th. They don't even have to go to the shop to order or anything, just call in. My mother is paying their deposit for each dress which is half the cost. One of my BM's wanted to order her dress through her bridal shop (she's getting married in Sept) and I told her no because it wouldn't be from the same dye batch and she got mad at me! It's the same price at both places and everything. She got mad because she said she would have to go pick it up ( 1 hour away ) and I did the same exact thing for her.. .drove an hour to get my dress for her wedding. It gets frustrating, but I have to remember to be patient. She's in stress out mode since her wedding is less than a month away. I feel ya though, frustrating as hell! 

[NJBride2014]

@ - I feel for you! I'm very type A with planning, and this would drive me crazy. Hopefully they order soon! I don't really understand that mentality of waiting a few weeks when they're going to have to order them anyway. If money isn't an issue either, I don't get it.. I think I'd be a lot more annoying with direct messages and emails asking them if they had ordered yet. Could you maybe just order them yourself, then tell them you ordered them and they cost $ amount?

 

I personally took a much more controlling approach haha. I don't expect a lot out of my BMs to be honest. I know their personalities, and of the 3 of us, I am the organizer/planner of the group. They're used to me planning everything from parties to vacations together, etc. because I know if I don't do it, it won't be done. I was my best friend's MOH and I had her bachelorette, bridal shower, dress dates, etc. planned immediately. Made her a slide show, got all the girls involved, we went to Cancun, etc. I was honestly a fantastic moh. I've realized though as @@VegasBride121314 said above, my wedding isn't important to anyone but me (and the FI ). I've barely heard a peep about my wedding from my BMs, they don't ask me for details, and I'm not one to talk about it incessently either.

 

All I really expect of them at this point is to show up in the dress I want, stand with me, and take pictures that day. So I actually decided to just buy their dresses myself. I chose 2 inoffensive dresses in styles I know they would like, and I just paid for them myself. They both like their dresses, and they're both glad they don't have to do any work. They also can't complain this way because they didn't pay for them. One in particular can be super picky/drawn out, and I just wanted to avoid that whole process. They said they would plan a Bachelorette and Shower for me too, but I haven't heard much about them and we have 4 months to go. We'll see what happens with those.

 

I think planning a wedding, and a DW in particular, really makes you think about your friendships and relationships in new ways. Some people have really amazed me with their support and love, while others have been so disappointing. I think I've become a lot more cynical through the whole process!

 

I really hope your BMs shape up!!

@@tygrrlily I did the same exact thing I just purchased their dresses because it was just easier, luckily the dresses weren't super expensive.  The girls are my sisters, aunt and best friend so they just let me take control I gave them options on styles but I picked out the color and designer.  Sometimes you have to take it into your own hands. 

 

@@Mrsktobe hopefully your girls finally get on it and order their dresses soon.  They'll know how crappy it feels to be ignored when its their turn. 

[Mrsktobe]

Thanks ladies. It's been nice to come on here and not be judged and be able to vent. I can't say much to the fiancé because the two ladies who have ignored me, their husbands/boyfriends are in the grooms party. Unfortunately, they won't know - one eloped and is married and one is eloping as well.

Oh well. Bigger things to worry about right.

[acw271011]

Gee. I must really be old. I'm reading through this thread and wondering why you ladies are having to put up with all of this crazy stuff? I've said it before a few times on this site - there is nothing that brings out the worst in relationships than weddings and funerals.

 

I'm remembering back to when I was in school and what we called friends back then. Maybe things have really changed, but if you have people that live 12 hours away, or further even, that you hardly see, or have friends that you have asked to be a MOH or BM but they aren't giving you the time of day, why bother? Maybe I'm not seeing this the right way. If I had to sit back and wait for them to order dresses, I would just move right along. Then it comes down to the wire and all you do is.... "oh you didn't order a dress? sorry but I just assumed that you had gone ahead and done what was needed to be done. it's ok. you can just go as a guest. I have [xxx] and [xxx] that have their dresses so I'll just go with them as the bridal party.

 

Just because it's your wedding, why do you have to put up with attitude like this from people? It used to be you went out to look at dresses, decided on one and everyone just ordered right then and there. done. you plan the shopping trip and expect that everyone that has been asked is ready to order that day. When did all of that change??  And as in everyday life, when did we stop making people accountable? It's supposed to be an honour to be part of your bridal party, and usually you chose friends that you are close to and that love and care about you. So when did we start allowing the drama? Dump their butts!!! And if it affects the friendship, well then who needs friends like that? And if you have bought and paid for dresses and you're still getting attitude?? Yowsers..... I'd be screamin'!!!!

 

I know destination weddings are a whole different situation. Our MOH and BM bailed on us. That ended the friendship. And they got married in St Lucia!!! So they had been through the DW process and knew what was involved!!  I think my age is showing. I just don't tolerate crap from people anymore. I feel so badly for you ladies that are stuck with this garbage. I guess friendships just aren't what they used to be.

 

Good luck to all of you.

[calgarybride2015]

Gee. I must really be old. I'm reading through this thread and wondering why you ladies are having to put up with all of this crazy stuff? I've said it before a few times on this site - there is nothing that brings out the worst in relationships than weddings and funerals.

 

I'm remembering back to when I was in school and what we called friends back then. Maybe things have really changed, but if you have people that live 12 hours away, or further even, that you hardly see, or have friends that you have asked to be a MOH or BM but they aren't giving you the time of day, why bother? Maybe I'm not seeing this the right way. If I had to sit back and wait for them to order dresses, I would just move right along. Then it comes down to the wire and all you do is.... "oh you didn't order a dress? sorry but I just assumed that you had gone ahead and done what was needed to be done. it's ok. you can just go as a guest. I have [xxx] and [xxx] that have their dresses so I'll just go with them as the bridal party.

 

Just because it's your wedding, why do you have to put up with attitude like this from people? It used to be you went out to look at dresses, decided on one and everyone just ordered right then and there. done. you plan the shopping trip and expect that everyone that has been asked is ready to order that day. When did all of that change?? And as in everyday life, when did we stop making people accountable? It's supposed to be an honour to be part of your bridal party, and usually you chose friends that you are close to and that love and care about you. So when did we start allowing the drama? Dump their butts!!! And if it affects the friendship, well then who needs friends like that? And if you have bought and paid for dresses and you're still getting attitude?? Yowsers..... I'd be screamin'!!!!

 

I know destination weddings are a whole different situation. Our MOH and BM bailed on us. That ended the friendship. And they got married in St Lucia!!! So they had been through the DW process and knew what was involved!! I think my age is showing. I just don't tolerate crap from people anymore. I feel so badly for you ladies that are stuck with this garbage. I guess friendships just aren't what they used to be.

 

Good luck to all of you.

Well said. I agree 100%!!! I know it doesn't make it easy, it's tough to show that side sometimes but it's all true what you said.

 

I had my wedding end a friendship too!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mrsktobe]

No, you are totally right. I am not holding these people accountable whatsoever - What you wrote really hit the nail on the head and is so true. I'm going to stop beating around the bush with these girls and with some of the other women who have been causing drama with the wedding - it's about time I grew some balls and said shit - I have been so stressed out about all of this shit when I am sure they are getting by just fine because I am the one making excuses and being the bigger person - f*ck that sh*t. I need to step up, I'm usually a door mat - and you made me realize this is what I am doing in this situation as well. Thanks for the tough love lady!

[acw271011]

I know this is a wonderful forum and sounding board ladies but let's just be mindful of our language and try to keep it polite please. I totally and completely understand the frustration. Been there, done that, wrote the book and bought the t-shirt and bumper sticker. I know only too well where you're coming from but we also want to ensure that no one is offended.  Thanks!!

[calgarybride2015]

HOW HARD IS IT! YOU HAVE ONE JOB.. ORDER YOUR DRESS. THAT'S IT.

I haven't asked them to do anything else.

Then I get attitude when I ask.

I haven't asked my bridesmaids to do anything. Nothing. Just order your dress.

One is excused because she lives in England and her father is dying.. of course I understand

The other three have no excuse.

I'm just pissy, hormonal and angry today.

 

I have had NO help from them at all and I ask to do one thing, ONE thing and they can't.

 

Rant over.

 

Any update? hope everything is going ok!

[Mrsktobe]

A few have. Still got attitude from one of the girls, even at our engagement party. I know I can be neurotic and a type A personality, but F*ck, it's a f'in dress. She is now going to be out of town for 6 weeks and doesn't have it. Whatever. I can't allow myself to be upset with it because I know in my heart I haven't asked them to do anything except order the dress, so I know I have been reasonable with my ONE request.

[calgarybride2015]

A few have. Still got attitude from one of the girls, even at our engagement party. I know I can be neurotic and a type A personality, but F*ck, it's a f'in dress. She is now going to be out of town for 6 weeks and doesn't have it. Whatever. I can't allow myself to be upset with it because I know in my heart I haven't asked them to do anything except order the dress, so I know I have been reasonable with my ONE request.

 

I just can't believe you are getting attitude, wow! 

I would have probably changed my BP by now because I hold grudges!

I ordered my dresses in July and they won't come in until November, do you know how long theirs are going to take?