Would You Be Upset?

[Mrsktobe]

So a friend of mine was invited to the wedding - she isn't in the bridal party but she was in the group of friends of mine growing up. She was invited and her husband was invited. She had mentioned that it might of been her mom and her coming, as her husband works out of town.

 

Turns out they phoned my travel agent and herself, her husband, her parents and her sister and her wife plus kid are all coming now and took 7 spots off of our trip. I'm not mad about the spots because everyone mostly had booked already and she knows they aren't invited to the wedding - however she didn't even ask. So now her whole family is coming - I get that they want to make a vacation out of it, totally - I'm just upset she didn't even ask. Her parents, her sister and wife are not invited to our wedding, what if someone else needed those spots? Of course my T.A called me because they weren't on the list and I told her to go ahead but...

 

ARGHHH!!

 

[kmk2016]

Do you have a separate RSVP for the wedding itself? (Not just booking with your TA) if so, it may be that she and her hubby plan on attending your wedding (yay!) but that she is also making it a holiday for her and her family for times not taken by your wedding events. Since a DW is different and often means using up holiday time for people- and may want to make it a holiday.

 

I would make sure they know you don't have room to include all these extra people at your wedding events... That only 2 were included in your wedding but outside that, not much you can do sadly! (Without causing hurt between you and your friend)

[acw271011]

I would be a little put out by it. It's different if invitees are, as you said, just adding family members to the vacation so that they get time together but to go ahead and take advantage because you have a (probably) cheaper group rate? Nope. That just doesn't sit well with me, particularly without asking in advance. If the couple book, that's different. Then have the other people wait until the very last cutoff date for your guests to book, and then ask if you have empty spots left. To just invite the rest of the family on your rate without even a by your leave is just rude.

[Mrsktobe]

Thanks. That's the way I am feeling about it.

Honestly - and I hope this doesn't come off Bridezilla because I am the furthest thing away from one - I just hope they stay out of our way for the first few days before the wedding. Her parents are wonderful people and are fun to hang out with but her sister can be a completely different story. I totally get the whole family vacation thing - Just pissed off cause her sister is known for having a completely bad attitude and I am going to be PISSED If she is around everyone with her bad attitude when she wasn't even invited in the first place. I don't need the stress of people being shitty people when I didn't even invite them when I already am worried about some family members causing drama (there is major drama on my in laws side .. *face palm*)

Weddings. Bringing people together and bringing out the drama since the age of man LOL.

[kmk2016]

Now that I've been thinking about the whole "using your contract pricing" aspect- it doesn't sit well with me either! Is there a way for your TA to reach out to them and say, I got your booking form and can process jane and Joe, however for guest a b and c, I will need to research pricing as they are not a part of the wedding guest block and at this time there are not an excess of reservation spots for non wedding guests. If after the contract date is closed, if there is space available I can contact you- however at this time, travelling on those dates for non wedding guest packages is $x.

 

Would that work?

Edited July 28, 2014 by kmk2016

[MJTK]

I agree with kmk2016 in getting your TA to give them a quote of their own not your group rate... I guess though if all your spots aren't used up it may just be better nor to stir the pot. I know my TA went through sunwing for our package and for every 11th person we get one free so that may benefit you if you have a package like this. However, we only alloted 30 seats at the set price and then if it's this case then your other guests will get quotes higher after the 30th person...I would check it out... AND you have all the right to be pissed she didn't check with you first! I'm the farthest thing from bridezilla too and I would be mad just because it's the point of her not confirm g with you ahead of time. It's great that you like the family but I would feel it's taking away from me and our time with those 2 guests because they will be with their family not you.. The whole thing is messed up! I never even thought about someone doing that..so glad no one did.. sorry it happened to you!

[Mrsktobe]

Thanks ladies. We do have an excess of seats left, so like you said, it was ok - the cut off date is this weekend and we have 5 seats left after they took 7 and only have 4 maybe's, so at least we have enough seats. I'm just upset she didn't check with me before inviting her ENTIRE family. Didn't call me or FB me or anything. the only reason I knew was because my TA was like "Ummm.. do you know so and so WHOLE extended family is coming?" Like what the F!

 

Ughh.. oh well. Bigger things to worry about I guess - just frustrating as her sister is a wild card as far as her attitude goes - I just don't want her bad attitude ruining our trip.  I know it's a big resort but my friend is the type of person she will invite her family to EVERYTHING and then when I say something, she will get upset.

 

At least we are getting married OFF the resort and her family can't crash our wedding. There's a plus.

[kmk2016]

Thanks ladies. We do have an excess of seats left, so like you said, it was ok - the cut off date is this weekend and we have 5 seats left after they took 7 and only have 4 maybe's, so at least we have enough seats. I'm just upset she didn't check with me before inviting her ENTIRE family. Didn't call me or FB me or anything. the only reason I knew was because my TA was like "Ummm.. do you know so and so WHOLE extended family is coming?" Like what the F!

 

Ughh.. oh well. Bigger things to worry about I guess - just frustrating as her sister is a wild card as far as her attitude goes - I just don't want her bad attitude ruining our trip. I know it's a big resort but my friend is the type of person she will invite her family to EVERYTHING and then when I say something, she will get upset.

 

At least we are getting married OFF the resort and her family can't crash our wedding. There's a plus.

I would still make a point of sending her a note saying, my TA just confirmed you booked "yay!"... She mentioned you also sent in travel requests for a b and c... Since they were not on our wedding booking group she was concerned about their being enough seats we reserved for our remaining guests. I let her know that we would extend the pricing to your family, and hopefully we can accommodate the rest of the wedding guests as the final cut off (as you know) is Sunday. Fingers crossed!! Glad you can make some of your holiday a family vacation while you and "Bob" also attend our wedding.

 

Hahaha that way she knows you are aware of what she did, she can feel a bit of guilt for taking advantage of your wedding package pricing, and you get to point out that only her and her DH are invited to the wedding festivities. A bit passive aggressive but will get the point across that she crossed the line- all while making you look anything but a Bridezilla!

[MJTK]

There's always that one isn't there..fingers crossed she just hangs with her family then since that's the reason she brought them and not all of them trying to be part of your family n and friends group!! my blood boils for you

Edited July 28, 2014 by MJTK

[Mrsktobe]

Thanks Ladies. I was feeling upset about it but thought maybe I was being too sensitive but it's nice to know I have a reason to be upset.

Good news is they are only there for a week and we are there for two weeks, so they will be gone before you know it if sh*t happens.

 

Now just to worry about my MIL attacking my SIL who is my photographer.. good ol' family drama... but that's another story I think I'm going to need a lot of vodka to get through parts of this wedding week LOL.