Invitation Wording... Help Please!

[Mandiesue]

Hi Everyone. 

 

I am struggling with my DIY Invitations. We are doing pocket invitations and I need assistance with wording, etiquette, and general objective thoughts on our invitation and then an added enclosure..I would really appreciate some advice as these need to be sent out very soon.

 

My invitation reads as follows, can anyone tell me if it grammatically correct?

 

A beautiful beach. A clear blue sky.

A love united with waves crashing by.

 

Please join us, as well as our parents, as we

 

Bride Name

 

and

 

Groom Name

 

Unite in marriage.

 

Wednesday, the twenty-second of April

two thousand fifteen

at four-thirty in the afternoon.

 

Resort Name

Dominican Republic

 

Here is the enclosure...I need a title for it and I can't think of anything that sounds great... Is it ok to ask people to donate to a charity verses sending gifts ... help please.

 

Our personal note...

 

We would like to thank all of our family and friends for sharing in our joy, as we begin our journey to unite as husband and wife. It is our hope that you are able to join us in paradise for this special occasion.

 

Although it would be fantastic to have all our loved ones with us on our special day, we do understand the burdens of travel outside of the United States.We appreciate your thoughts as we join together as one.

 

We are beyond blessed with all that we have, so in lieu of gifts, we ask that you consider donating to one of our two favorite charities:

 

Hope for Steve: Website: HopeForSteve.com

or

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

Website: stjude.org

 

With love,

 

Bride & Groom

 

 

[kmk2016]

I personally, wouldn't reference anything to do with a gift or donation on the invitation. I would save this for your website if you do one, or word of mouth.

 

As for the invitation itself, the only suggestion would be to change the one line... To read either: we invite you together with our parents we... Or please join us, along with our parents...

 

I love the poem! Can't wait to see the finished product!

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Edited June 19, 2014 by kmk2016

[acw271011]

This is just a PERSONAL opinion, nothing else. But here is what I think:

 

A beautiful beach, a clear blue sky.

 

A love united as waves crash by.

 

Along with their parents, please join

 

Bride

 

and

 

Groom

 

As they unite in marriage.

 

then the rest of your details...

 

Hi Everyone. 

 

I am struggling with my DIY Invitations. We are doing pocket invitations and I need assistance with wording, etiquette, and general objective thoughts on our invitation and then an added enclosure..I would really appreciate some advice as these need to be sent out very soon.

 

My invitation reads as follows, can anyone tell me if it grammatically correct?

 

A beautiful beach. A clear blue sky.

A love united with waves crashing by.

 

Please join us, as well as our parents, as we

 

Bride Name

 

and

 

Groom Name

 

Unite in marriage.

 

Wednesday, the twenty-second of April

two thousand fifteen

at four-thirty in the afternoon.

 

Resort Name

Dominican Republic

 

Here is the enclosure...I need a title for it and I can't think of anything that sounds great... Is it ok to ask people to donate to a charity verses sending gifts ... help please.

 

Our personal note...

 

We would like to thank all of our family and friends for sharing in our joy, as we begin our journey together as husband and wife. It is our hope that you are able to join us in paradise for this special occasion.

 

Although it would be fantastic to have all our loved ones with us on our special day, we do understand the burdens of travel outside of the United States.We appreciate your thoughts as we join together as one.

 

We are beyond blessed with all that we have, so in lieu of gifts, we ask that you consider donating to one of our two favorite charities:

 

Hope for Steve: Website: HopeForSteve.com

or

St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

Website: stjude.org

 

With love,

 

Bride & Groom

 

 

Just one little thought in your note that I put in red, but otherwise it sounds beautiful, and I think asking to donate to charity is a truly wonderful thing to do!!!

 

As I said, this is a personal opinion only!!!

 

Well done!!

[stefadile]

That all looks great, only thing would be the parents wording.... I'd suggest

 

 

Please join us, together with our parents of along with our parents. I think its very noble of you guys to ask to make a charity donation, truly heart warming :-).

[Mandiesue]

Thanks for the suggestions. I appreciate them.

[VegasBride121314]

 I'm probably too late but...I don't think you should mention gifts on the invitation.