Appropriate to Request Prelim RSVP?

[Maura]

i wouldnt say its rude, but think about if you were the average clueless wedding guest. (FI and i just had this discussion last night actually!) sending out your invites so far in advance, people are likely to forget about them and lose them, toss them out by accident, etc etc, spend all their money in advance. you are better served to send out a STD, and these can be done very cheaply on your own, referring people to your wedding website. this is what we are planning to do, and including a small business card sized enclosure with the STD that due to the nature of a destination wedding, we need a preliminary headcount, and we will be asking people to go to our website and add their name to a list on a special part of the site if they think they will either definitely come or maybe come. our STDs also say "formal invitation to follow" -- hope this helps a little!

[Can'tHardlyWait]

I am not sure if this is an option for you, but what about sending a save the date with a link to a wedding website, where all the details for the wedding will be posted. Most of these sites also give an rsvp option, and you can ask guests to RSVP on the website so you have a count of who is coming. Then, when it's closer to the weddding you can send out invitations without reply cards (or with reply cards to get everyone's food options or something)... I just think you want to wait a little before sending out wedding invites, but thats just my opinion

[IrieBride08]

I played it slick with mine. On the STD (I did boarding passes), I just noted that those who planned to participate in the group rates for air and resort should make their deposits by Nov. 1. (Wedding in May).

 

Most people went to our wedding website and did just that. To this day, out of 45 guests attending I only have RSVPs for about 8 people. Everyone else just made their deposit payments online or mailed me a check.