Cold Feet.,.

[atennille]

@MrsRoy I am so sorry to hear about your father. I know that at times planning a weding can be very stressful. But just know, that everything is going to be ok. Take a deep breath, and just let it go. Praying for you, I know that you will feel better soon.

Edited July 15, 2014 by atennille

[Sabes44]

I do agree if its meant to be it will be.  Everyone has ups and downs and its good to not take marriage lightly.  I think most people get cold feet or second guess everything.  You are going through a lot right now and moving in with someone alone is a big deal.  It helps if you talk to him about any fears or concerns you may have.  Sometimes we talk too much, but it helps me clam down about stuff that in my own head I might freak out about but when I talk to my FI its all fine

[MrsRoy]

Thanks for the kind words ladies...

 

This has just been so overwhelming for me so I postponed the wedding... I pushed it to a possible November 2015 instead of May 2015 like we planned. I feel bad for everyone involved but my sanity comes first.

I need to deal with my dad and the crappy hands we've been dealt and planning a wedding while my father watches on dying just doesn't seem fair to me.

 

My FI was very understanding and supportive but for whatever reason even that irritated me. Everything he does just irritates me and I have no idea why.

 

I went to see my doctor about my anxiety and she ofcourse immediately have me lorazepam which I feel is just a band aid....

 

I feel kind of dumb about this all too but I just can't even think about it now with so much going on. I'm petrified to uproot my 7yr old son and move so far away while I have all these doubts.. It's not just my life, it's his as well...

 

I've put the travel agent on pause for now and I'm going to focus on my dad...

Edited July 17, 2014 by MrsRoy

[Meandhim]

Completely understand your decision..I might be making a similar decision soon..it's a very difficult but I think you made the right choice. You need to take care of you and your family first.

 

Maybe once you have got a handle on or have had a chance to wrap your head around your dads situation you need to take some time to talk with your fiancée and express your fears and concerns about moving your son... remember he can not read your mind.Talk about everything that's bothering you, even the little things. It sounds like you are keeping some major concerns to yourself, which is not good for you, your son or your FI. Communication is key especially during difficult times.

 

My Thoughts are with you, your Dad and your family!

[Sabes44]

I totally agree with @@Meandhim and think you are making the right decision @@MrsRoy.  You need to put yourself and son first and communicate with your FI.  Not always the easiest thing to do when you are feeling vulnerable but when you do it and realize he can help you will feel much better!

 

I do agree that drugs are just a band aid and speaking from someone who has gone through some tough stuff.  I highly recommend talking to someone else about everything.  I wouldn't be able to commit myself to my relationship and think I could have a successful marriage (or even relationship for that matter) if I hadn't gone through all the therapy I had.  

 

Hang in there, you are doing the right thing!  My thoughts are with you too!!

BTW don't feel dumb!!  you made the best decision you could with everything you are dealing with. 

[kcole123]

I think under the circumstances, it was a good decision you made. At least this will give you time to spend with family/friends/FI and have no wedding planning pressure.

 

And I agree with the girls. Lay everything out on the table to your FI.

 

Whatever is meant to be will happen.

[TinkerSofi]

@@MrsRoy that seems like the right decision at this time. I only know of one girl who got married while her mom was battling cancer and I know it wasn't easy. Now her mom is in remission and everything is ok, thankfully. It's definitely not an easy decision to make but I'm glad you were able to recognize that it was the best thing for your mental health.

 

I think maybe you getting irritated about everything your fiance does might have something to do with the fact that you are afraid, you have concerns and you're not telling him. I know that my fiance and I always end up fighting (for really dumb reasons may I add) when one of us is bothered by something but does not talk about it. The confrontation we had the other day that I posted about was all about him being scared of not being able to afford everything if I went back to school. We talked it out and about our expectations for this marriage. It wasn't an easy conversation to have but we both feel better about it now and it was something that needed to be discussed. I highly recommend that you talk with him. I know it's not easy to bring up difficult subjects when you don't see each other often but I think it will make you feel better and him as well. I'm sure he notices that you're irritable and he's probably wondering what is going on. Another suggestion, don't have this conversation over the phone. I made that mistake and it didn't make anything better. I really felt like we got somewhere after talking in person.