Moh Is Pregnant... Probably Can't Go To Our Wedding Anymore :(

[tygrrlily]

This isn't a vent at all, just somewhere to write it down. My best friend / maid of honour is pregnant with her 2nd baby! She just found out yesterday, and they're happy but surprised because they weren't planning on it (their baby now just turning 1). She probably won't be able to come with us anymore in December - I'm ecstatic for her of course, but I can't also help be a bit disappointed. I told her it's fine (and it is!), but I can't help feeling slightly crushed because I can't even imagine getting married without her there. I of course was very positive to her and told her that she has to do whatever is best for her and the baby. She's disappointed as well, and we're thinking about the timing and if she can still fly, but she'll be in her last trimester and probably around 32-33 weeks. Air Canada officially says up to 36 weeks they allow, but it's up to the doctor and the mom. I would not want her to put the baby in jeopardy at all. 

 

We're starting to feel a bit sad about choosing a destination wedding and important people not being able to come. We were okay with just having our closest family and friends, but it looks like some of those people won't be able to make it. His groomsman is also a maybe because they're having a baby in September, and they're unsure how the baby will be in December. They're putting down their deposits, but they won't decide until October (when final payments are due). 

 

AH - does anyone have any experience/advice with this? I'm trying really hard to stay positive - I know at the end of the day, it all comes down to my FI and I getting married. I'm trying really hard to focus on that and not on disappointments, but sometimes it's a bit hard

Edited May 23, 2014 by tygrrlily

[1BeachBride]

So sorry to hear this. It's (pregnancy) a blessing but the circumstances are unfortunate.

I hope your friends will be able to make it!

 

We have only our children in the ceremony. But our closest friends were invited and we expected all but 2 to attend. We found out yesterday that 1 of his best friends will not be able to attend because his finances are not allowing it. He has a daughter who just graduated college & is beginning Grad School. He has to foot the bill solo.

 

I was saddened last night as I watched my fiancé try to be understanding telling his friend that he totally understood & he has to take care of his responsibilities... but he was deeply hurt. He hung up and told me, "Darn he really won't be there!"

 

It seems like people are having to drop out as the date nears. We're less than a month away. It's disappointing because we wanted and anticipated these people coming, but what can you do?

Edited May 23, 2014 by 1BeachBride

[kmk2016]

Ahhhh that's exciting and heartbreaking all rolled into one. As happy as you surely are for your BFF, it's gotta hurt a bit to have this special person no longer there for you- that's natural! Don't let these set backs make you or your FI regret your destination wedding- it will be wonderful still- and maybe you can find a way to incorporate/include those you really wanted there? Skype? It would be a fun way to include your bestie... I'm sure she is as crushed as you are that she can't be there for you... It's ok to be disappointed!

 

 

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[1BeachBride]

Love the Skype idea @@kmk2016! I may do that for my FH best friend.

[tygrrlily]

@@1BeachBride @@kmk2016 - Thank you ladies for understanding and the kind words! It's hard for me to express this in person because I don't want to sound like I'm complaining at all, you know, because I really am happy for her. But yes, it definitely is a mixed bag of emotions.

 

Skype is a great idea. I know some resorts have that live streaming thing so maybe we can try to do that. She is definitely crushed, and she kept apologizing and I told her she has nothing to apologize about! 

Edited May 24, 2014 by tygrrlily

[1BeachBride]

Are you going to have your ceremony recorded. I know it's not the same as her being there but you two could watch it together & have a special moment. I'm sure she will be emotional (the pregnancy hormones).

[tygrrlily]

Are you going to have your ceremony recorded. I know it's not the same as her being there but you two could watch it together & have a special moment. I'm sure she will be emotional (the pregnancy hormones).

 

Yes, we've hired a videographer! That's a great idea

[acw271011]

It's very hard not to feel like we're being selfish in circumstances like this. after all, for the majority here, it's your wedding day! a very, very important day in your life. but so is having a baby! and yes, while you're excited that your friend is having a baby, it's very natural to be disappointed that she also won't be there to celebrate with you! everything happens for a reason. one day you will find out what that reason is. until then keep the happy thoughts for both you and your friend. you're both being blessed. just in different ways!

[Nybride525]

Aw it's normal to feel disappointment in this situation as I am sure you both feel even though the reason in the end will be a happy event (baby)...but eventually you will move on from the disappointment and be able to feel happy about the wedding. Watching the video together is a great idea

You could also take a picture holding her picture at the wedding and give it to her with a card saying something along the lines of even though she wasn't there physically she is still a part of your big day.

[SamanthaC]

@@tygrrlily I know exactly how you feel she wasn't my MOH but was one of my bridesmaids. Its funny cause we joked about the "Danger zone" for getting pregnant and how i should sent everyone birth control or condoms with a note about being safe. The day she showed up at my house and said she needed to talk to me i thought it was going to be about money or something but nope low and behold shes pregnant. Its hard to be upset with someone and happy for them at the same time but i did the right thing and smiled told her everything would be ok i was happy for her not to worry about it ext ext. Granted after she left i went and laid in my bed and cried for about an hour. I hadn't talked to her for about 2 weeks since she told me not because i was avoiding her but because we just hadn't talked. Well i heard through the grape vine that she was going around telling everyone how i was pissed off at her and wasn't happy for her and ignoring her which really irritated me because she hadn't even tried to contact me at all. So again i was the bigger person and went and talked to her telling her i wasnt upset and i was happy for her ext ext. It sucks because i feel like people are letting me down but i am the one who needs to make them feel better about it. 

lol and i just noticed it was you i was talking about this with in my topic! lol!! sorry