Need To Vent - Bachelorette & Bridal Shower!

[MrsSheppardToBe]

Hi Everyone! I'm sorry but I really need to vent right now. I feel that this site is a safe place for me to do this since we're all brides here and we're all on the same emotional rollercoaster. I'm leaving for my wedding on June 1st, and am getting married at the Ocean Coral and Turquesa in Mexico on June 5th. I have been engaged for almost 1.5 years now, and my sister is my MOH. Since I've been engaged for a while now, obviously we've had some talks about my stagette and bridal shower. It's now almost MAY and nothing has been planned yet! And no, she is not planning to surprise me with these parties. I am 100% sure that she's not planning ANYTHING for me. I've been looking forward to my bachelorette party and bridal shower for so long now. My Mom is talking about just planning the parties herself, with the help of one of my friends. But before she starts planning my parties, she wants to give my sister one last chance to get the ball rolling herself. And FYI - she's been given like 5 "one last chances". It's very obvious that she doesn't want to plan these events. She just planned her own little housewarming party even though she moved into her place like 4 months ago. She's always posting pics on Instagram of her partying and her little "wine wednesdays", "thirsty thursdays", etc. She always says she's busy but she's always out having fun and partying!!! Even she was planning her housewarming, anytime my wedding was brought up in conversation she would say "how can I even think of Jenna's wedding stuff when I have a big housewarming party to plan?" I'm sorry to sound like a bridezilla and and I definitely don't mean to sound like the world revolves around me.... BUT, considering I have been engaged for 18 months and my sister ASKED ME to be the MOH, shouldn't something be planned by now? I don't know if any other brides can relate but I am very stressed about this. I would have planned this all myself but everyone told me that the bride needs to stay out of this and let the bridal party plan this for me. This just makes me feel unimportant and like nobody cares. I know lots of brides who have had big surprise parties planned for them and had a great time. It just sucks that my own sister doesn't care about my wedding or me enough to put an ounce of effort into her role as MOH. Sorry for the rant, everyone. I just felt like this message board would be the only place where I can talk about this without people thinking I'm nuts. I feel like I can't even talk to my sister about it because she would just get offended and pull herself out of the wedding altogether, which I definitely don't want because my wedding is so close!

[AllieH]

aw Jenna. family....I swear.

 

It kinda sounds to me like she's jealous - she doesn't want you to have the attention, nor does she want to spend the time doing anything a MOH should do for her bride. LAZY. Let your mom plan it, or heck - you plan it (cuz then ya get exactly what you want!).

Whatever you do, do NOT let your sister's lack of action make you miss or regret something you really wanted to do as part of the celebration of your marriage.

[TATrisha]

That's so upsetting Jenna.  I'm sorry she's acting that way.  

 

I agree with Allie.  Take your mother up on the offer to have her plan it, and while she's waiting for your sister's "last chance" set the date and maybe even the place yourself.  Start filtering ideas to your mom. 

I realize it's not nearly as fun when you have to plan it yourself, but the party and time with family and friends will be worth it.

Good luck!

[csho]

Do you have any other close girlfriends  or any other bridal party members who could plan it for you? If not have your mom plan it. I am planning my friends bachelorette party and wedding shower even though I am not in her bridal party in conjunction with her mom because her MOH isn't able to (her MOH if awaiting a lung transplant so its quite different) but don't be afraid to ask a good friend to do it. I am sure they would be willing to help you out! And if not, like others have said plan it yourself! I don't know about others but I can be a bit anal and I would rather plan myself because then I know it will exactly what I want!

[1BeachBride]

I'm sorry that you are upset during what should be a high moment for you. I think the other ladies are correct. You should begin planning on your own. Let your mother know you have selected the venue & have your guest list ready. Your sister is 100% wrong but try not to let her knock you off your square. (That may be her goal.)

 

Hopefully it all comes together. No need to focus on your sister and her lack of obligation to her MOH duties. Focus on you and your love. Karma has a way of solving things on it's own.

 

Best of luck, Hun!

[NJBride2014]

I agree with everyone else and let your mom plan everything if she is still willing.  Maybe your sister will feel bad and realize that should have been her job in the beginning and finally take charge but if she doesn't then oh well at least your mom and other friends will still be involved and be more than happy to plan and make this a fun time for you.  I am the opposite of you I didn't want anything but my sister took charge and has been planning a bridal shower and bachelorette party and now I'm excited for it.  It sucks that your own sister doesn't want to be involved or take initiative but don't let that bring you down you should be enjoying this time.  Good luck and remember to have fun!

[MrsSheppardToBe]

Thanks everyone!  I do have a close friend who wants to plan this with my Mom, but my Mom is reluctant to start planning without my sister on board.  UGH! 

 

I'm just going to tell my friend that it'll be me and her planning it together.  I can't wait anymore - it's 3 weeks away!!

 

OH - and I forgot to mention... my sister gave me a list of dates in May that she's not available.  The date I really want for my party is May 17th, and she said she isn't available then because her BOYFRIEND'S COUSIN will be in town for a visit.  Ummmm.... pretty sure that's not a legit excuse!  Even if it was OUR OWN cousin in town that wouldn't even justify blowing off your sister's bachelorette party for.

[1BeachBride]

Please move fwd with planning with your friend. Your mom is hoping your sister will do the right thing but I am highly doubtful & you have no time to wait. # weeks...

 

Trash your sister's list as if you never received it at all. Don't even discuss or bring up the events with her from this point on.

 

Plan your event and invite everyone (including your sister). Don't be petty & evil (Karma). If she doesn't come, Oh well! her loss. If she does, that's fine too.

 

Make sure you plan it exactly the way you want. Remember... no worries! Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff.

[acw271011]

I'd just ditch the MOH completely. lol Sorry. I'f you have a good friend that's willing to help plan, ask her if she also wants to be MOH....

 

Family really sucks sometimes!

[AllieH]

100% THIS!!! We got your back - go forth & celebrate!

 

Please move fwd with planning with your friend. Your mom is hoping your sister will do the right thing but I am highly doubtful & you have no time to wait. # weeks...

 

Trash your sister's list as if you never received it at all. Don't even discuss or bring up the events with her from this point on.

 

Plan your event and invite everyone (including your sister). Don't be petty & evil (Karma). If she doesn't come, Oh well! her loss. If she does, that's fine too.

 

Make sure you plan it exactly the way you want. Remember... no worries! Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff.