Bridesmaid Issues

[girlinthecity97]

well said @@acw271011!!!

 

@@talicea7812 - I like the idea of having a small church wedding for people like your grandmother and cousin to attend.  I've vetoed my mom on the AHR because to your point, we are already shelling out a nice chunk to get married in Mexico.  I keep trying to get her to understand that DW are not as cheap as she thinks. If my 96 year old gran lived in my hometown or even close to where my fiance & I lived, I would maybe do something like a small ceremony & nice dinner so she could be a part of it. Since she doesn't, I don't see the point. 

 

As for RSVPs, I plan to send my mom after my relatives because I already know they will be big pains. From our graduation parties, to my sister's showers & wedding, my mom has always had to call & fuss at them about not rsvping.  They just "assume" you know whether or not they are coming, which is just baffling and inconsiderate. 

 

Please don't let people's lack of consideration and support get you down!  As my best friend says, at the end of the day, it will all work out and be everything you imagined and wanted it to be!  

[jwalsh]

Sorry your your going through this none of my fiancées family are coming to our wedding just his friends..his dad's afraid to fly and his sister can't afford it. I'd feel really hurt if one of my friends that I stood for wouldn't make my wedding a priority..hugs

 

 

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[rvalenka]

I think Tammy's response was beautiful. It's going to rough and there's no easy way to deal with it. Good luck!

 

 

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[talicea7812]

So the saga continues...the bridesmaid that dropped out of going to mexico continues to make wedding planning a terrible experience.

 

Just to recap- I changed my wedding date and bridesmaid dress to accommodate her. She backed out stating financial reasons.

 

Now the BM dresses are in.  The weekend that we went shopping her husband had his car broken into and all personal belongings stolen.  She was unable to put a down payment on the dress bc of her accounts being put on hold.  She told the shop owner she would call in the info during the week. 

 

The dress was ordered (in good faith that she would pay for it...bc this is the 3rd time my friends and I are using this shop) Now she refuses to pay for it!  She is telling me that she ordered from another shop...however, I don't even believe her. Now I feel awful.  I love the woman that owns the shop and she's getting screwed over.

 

Really I signed the paperwork too so if my BM doesn't pay im next in line to pay for it.  So... not only was I in this girls wedding, organized everything even tho I wasn't MOH, and now im going to have to pay for my own BM dress too?

 

She doesn't even care. I know its time to cut times...but I can't help but need to vent. she obviously doesn't care about me so nothing I do will ever be able to hurt her the way she has hurt me.

[acw271011]

I'm sure if you advertised it, you'd have a fairly easy time selling it, especially not worn and still with the tags! This site has a "classified ads" section for posting things like that. Again, good luck. I'm sure it will all come right in the end and you'll have a wonderful wedding!

[kellymiller]

I'm so sorry about your situation.

 

I feel like my FI and I might be in this same situation soon with bridesmaids and groomsmen (we both have 3 total). I feel like one of each might back out when it comes closer to the time. We just made out guest list and started to stress about who and who not to invite. Then we got to the F*ck it stage, and decided that even if we invite everyone we know not everyone will come and those who do come will have a great time! If people really want to come then they will, and if not they are the ones missing out!

 

I can also relate to your cousin situation, except it was my older sister who got engage about 2 months after us and now wants to have her wedding before mine (this summer). I was super upset about it at the time but am getting over it, as I know our wedding will be about celebrating us!

[megan224]

Sooo sorry you are going through this. Hang in there, your wedding will be absolutely wonderful!

[talicea7812]

it is so frustrating.  I don't like to keep a lot of friends.  I prefer to keep a small group of what I consider good friends v. lots of ok friends.  I started off with 3 bridesmaids.  Each girl I have known 10+ years & I have been in each of their weddings.

 

I am just so broken hearted over all this. The one backed out but said she still wanted to be involved in all the other aspects- but really she has been nothing but drama.  When everything started happening with the dress my other girls told me that she hasn't done anything.  They have asked her repeatedly for her part of the shower and they are still waiting.  She has done nothing to help...so even if she does pitch in why is it fair for her to take the credit.

 

What really stabs me in the back is that when it came to her wedding...the MOH refused to do anything.  I ended up being the one to organize everything.  So I know what it feels like to do the work while 5 other girls share the credit!

 

My one BM made a good point. Its prob better that she did back out...the friendship obviously isn't what I thought it was so why would I want her in my wedding pics.

 

 

@@kellymiller

 

that's def the attitude you have to have when planning these kind of weddings.  It really puts things in perspective.  we would have had trouble keeping our guest list under 150 here at home.  Destination- were going to have 25-30. 

 

my FI and I have put our lives on hold several time to put our funds towards going to others destination weddings.  When it came time for ours... the sentiment was not returned.

[kellisbaby]

I'm so sorry.  That sounds awful and really stressful.  But like you said, perhaps it's better you're realizing this now (rather than her causing drama and trouble at your wedding.)  Your wedding day is going to be beautiful, and you won't even remember that she isn't there!

[talicea7812]

So the truth has come out.  The bridesmaid announced that she is pregnant and due in August.  After reading through the comments ppl were posting to her she admitted "that it took a little longer then planned."

 

She never had any intentions of coming. I picked the first BM dress in the summer of 2013.  She started the drama for a new dress in Oct/Nov & backed out in December.

 

She was holding out all this time hoping for the pregnancy!