People inviting guests without asking-am I wrong to be irritated?

[LiannaBanana]

Hopefully they don't expect to be coming to your wedding or reception, because that is added $$$  Not very fair for them to be inviting people!! 

[malyna]

Ugh my nightmare is that my mother will be doing this!

[kmk2016]

Yup- people don't realize that you pay extra expenses even though it's at an all inclusive... They think it's all included, even the reception and decor. My guess is her friends are coming as a holiday but will not infringe on your wedding celebrations. (Unless you extend the offer) they will likely not come to any of your events and are simply looking at it as a way to go away for a week and it lowers your friends costs going from a single to a quad occupancy significantly.

 

We have already heard that extras will be coming to our wedding (parents of 2 sets of friends- to help with the grand kids etc)... At first I was a bit miffed- but have since extended an invite to all our events... And sent them a formal invite to our wedding. Figuring , the more the merrier- just hoping the "extra people" don't get out of hand in numbers!

 

 

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[1BeachBride]

Not to be redundant but many have already noted that they probably are unaware. I had gotten wind that a few of our guests were planning to make this a family vacation. Our resort is all inclusive. They were intending to bring friends, nieces, their mothers, etc.

Many people have the misconception that a beach wedding is free. (My own mother thought that at first.) If the beach is free, why would you get charged to have them set up chairs? The hotel is all inclusive so why are you paying for people to eat dinner & have open bar at the reception?  Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

They don't realize all the extra costs the couple has to pay.

 

You are justified for feeling the way you do. However, you really have no control over who comes to the resort and what people do while there. Unless you are paying for them to come. So I would reach out to the guest who is bringing 3 friends and politely explain that you have to pay extra costs for people. Weddings are not free and you really have strict numbers along with the budget at this point (wedding is very soon). Hopefully they will understand and either offer to pay so those 3 can attend your wedding or the invited guest will attend while the friends do something else during that time.

 

Good Luck. I hope it works out!

[BusyBee280]

Oh my, I would be upset about that! I put on my invitation that all events are private.

 

One of our guests wanted to bring a lady friend of his along with him so he wouldn't feel like a third wheel- We almost considered it, but then it wouldn't be fair. We are not inviting people that we have been friends with for years! why on earth would we want people there that we hardly know!!!

 

Although- my mother insisted that I bring my sister in law (who I can't stand).. I guess there will never be a win win

[SamanthaC]

You are 100% not wrong, My mother tried to do this [my mother and i have a very rocky relationship] however they didn't just book. I asked her if there was anyone who wasnt on my wedding list she thought should be and she mentioned that she was going to see if her friends from the camp would come [i have met these people twice and am not fond of them AT ALL] Well i explained to her that no its just close family and friends i got the reply "well its an open resort and you can't stop people from coming" guah! i just explained to her that no i couldn't but i wouldn't be impressed and they wouldn't be invited to the wedding. 

[MrsRoy]

I'm a little confused why are you paying extra for the bar service when you hosting your wedding at at a all-inclusive resort ??

Or did I miss something

[kmk2016]

I'm a little confused why are you paying extra for the bar service when you hosting your wedding at at a all-inclusive resort ??

Or did I miss something

This is typical for an private event. Unless your reception is "meet you at the pool bar".... The b&g pay for a separate function special for your guests.

 

 

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[MrsRoy]

This is typical for an private event. Unless your reception is "meet you at the pool bar".... The b&g pay for a separate function special for your guests.

 

 

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Ooooh ok I just reading all of this stuff now, i'm so happy I joined this board because I am learning something new every time I log on lol!!!

 

Okay so for the private wedding dinner, that is an extra cost to host your group? That makes sense. I'm more confused about the alcohol.

[ASAtobe]

@@MrsRoy Most hotels charge extra for food and alcohol for private events and you have to pay per person! I

 

 

I told each of my guest that they could bring someone but to let me know. So far thankfully everyone that says they are coming are just bunking with people I have invited! However my FI father has decided that he is coming and we can't stop him (even though him and my FI DO NOT get along and I have never even met him). He left my FI's mother with 5 kids when they were all very young and he was abusive so he is not a great person. I have no idea how to stop this from happening!!