How to politely request no kids at our AHR without offending our guest

FutureMrsHudson · September 12, 2013

I'm barely into the wedding planning process and already going crazy trying to figure out how to do this, with the least amount of offensiveness possible. I honestly would like to have a completely adult-only wedding, but we really should and would enjoy having our nieces and nephews there, and a couple friends may bring kids. So, i'm accepting having children at the ceremony, and some of our nieces and nephews may be in the wedding, but I would like to have an adult-only reception. My fiance & I are willing to pay to provide childcare during the reception, it means that much to us, but I don't know how to word it on the invite/response card/tell people in person. I like to please everyone but at the same time it's my fiance and my day and we want to be able to enjoy it, esp. since we're paying for it all! Looking forward to the responses here!

ChelseaCat802 · September 12, 2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by FutureMrsHudson

I'm barely into the wedding planning process and already going crazy trying to figure out how to do this, with the least amount of offensiveness possible. I honestly would like to have a completely adult-only wedding, but we really should and would enjoy having our nieces and nephews there, and a couple friends may bring kids. So, i'm accepting having children at the ceremony, and some of our nieces and nephews may be in the wedding, but I would like to have an adult-only reception. My fiance & I are willing to pay to provide childcare during the reception, it means that much to us, but I don't know how to word it on the invite/response card/tell people in person. I like to please everyone but at the same time it's my fiance and my day and we want to be able to enjoy it, esp. since we're paying for it all! Looking forward to the responses here!

Unfortunately, no matter what you choose to do, it will offend people. Plain and simple. I'm not having children at my reception, and I'm sure I will offend some people, but when it comes down to it - it's my fiance and my day and that's what we want. We don't have children so maybe we're being too harsh, but all of our friends and family we have talked to completely understand, and half of them had child-free receptions as well

ChelseaCat802 · September 12, 2013

Quote:

Originally Posted by maggie123

That is really a tough part and you made it look so easy. But still it is thought to be rude to do so.

Yeah - I don't think it's rude at all. I would feel more awkward not putting it out there and then having some kids show up and others being mad they couldn't bring their kids. The only exception were making is for newborns, we have four friends that are due one-two months before our AHR and we're allowing them to bring the kids because they don't have a choice. And at least at my venue the kids count towards the headcount and I have to be under 200 and am at 220 - lol.

TuffLuv · September 12, 2013

I agree with ChelseaCat802, no matter what someone is going to be offended. Honestly, at the end of the day its about the bride and groom. Therefore, I think people should understand and put their feelings aside for that one day. Just my opinion. LOL, I'm still trying to figure out how to do it.

nursemorgan · January 8, 2014

You would think by just addressing the invite to the two adults in the household that people would get the point. LOL i guess not.

My dad is very concerned about children being present at the AHR where there will be alcohol present. Kids and drunk adults do not typically mix very well, and I agree but does "adult reception" seem rude on an invite?