Any brides get pushback from family about going the Destination route?

[SimplyMV]

Hey Ladies,

 

I'm new to the forums, although I've lurked for the last 2 months or so. I have been engaged since March 7th of this year and am very excited to start planning. We signed our contract with Azul Beach about 2 wks ago but things are at a bit of a stand still right now. My family is very traditional and not very open to new things, so as you can imagine they were not very excited about us wanting to have a destination wedding. My mother in particular has been a bit of a pain by being super negative about everything. Have any of you experienced this? How did you handle it? Did things get better? Thanks!

[brownsugarbride]

Originally Posted by SimplyMV 

 

Hey Ladies,

 

I'm new to the forums, although I've lurked for the last 2 months or so. I have been engaged since March 7th of this year and am very excited to start planning. We signed our contract with Azul Beach about 2 wks ago but things are at a bit of a stand still right now. My family is very traditional and not very open to new things, so as you can imagine they were not very excited about us wanting to have a destination wedding. My mother in particular has been a bit of a pain by being super negative about everything. Have any of you experienced this? How did you handle it? Did things get better? Thanks!

 

I experienced a bit of the opposite. My family was thrilled when I told them that FI had proposed, and their immediate reaction was: "Where are WE going?".  They actually sounded a bit disappointed about the wedding being in my hometown! LOL  We are now having a destination wedding, and their only issue is setting a date and location.

 

However, I can totally sympathize with what you're going through.  I think your best move is to continue to be very positive about the benefits of a destination wedding (great food, warm weather, luxury resort) and how this is really what will make YOU and FI happy.  People keep forgetting that it's not all about them, and perhaps those things will remind them of what's important.  Another thing you can do is to start the party early.  By that I mean: create excitement with a great wedding website to show everyone all of the fun things that are going to happen! Talk about your wedding team and your plans for your fabulous weekend! Talk about how your resort chain is known for great food. (Leave some surprises but hint at them if you want.)  I think people will eventually come around, and if they all don't---you will still be marrying your love.  At the end of the day, your FI is the only one that is absolutely matters to have your special day.  I hope this helps!

[SimplyMV]

Hi brownsugar,

 

Thanks for the great advice

 

I'm trying my best to remain positive about it and you're right it is ultimately about me and the fiance'. I just want everyone to be as excited as I am and so far that is not the case. I've only been comfortable talking with my closest friend and my fiance' about the wedding. When I try to talk to family about it they're very tight-lipped, so I've stopped talking about it with them.  Anyway, I'm hoping everyone will come around and I will try my best to keep it moving with my plans

[Moments That Matter]

Congrats on your engagement and upcoming dw, SimplyMV!!! you've picked an amazing wedding venue in the Azul Beach, as seen in these magical wedding "moments that matter" with more at the album link here......

 

Wishing you all the best with your research + plans, and that you have the WOnderful Wedding Celebration of your Dreams!!! Enjoy

 

team MTM asst, Lynda

[StephLB]

I've heard a bit about it, only from people who aren't sure they'll be able to come. And I sympathize with them about that, we had to miss a wedding not that long ago because we just couldn't do the trip.

[merbear]

We've had mostly positive reactions, I think everyone super excited we are getting married. However there have been a couple less-than-thrilled responses to the news, mainly because they won't be able to make it. In the long run though, we know it's what we want in our hearts. To included friends and family that cannot travel so far, we're having an engagement party/reception in town and specifying on the invitations that, even though we will be exchanging our vows on a magical beach far away, we would still be honored if they would celebrate with us here and now at an engagement party or reception.... I've read about a lot of destination wedding couples coming back and having an in-town reception a couple weeks after to include in-town friends that couldn't make it. It just happens to work better for us to do it before the wedding for a couple reasons. Getting married is about you and your fiance committing to each other and celebrating your love. It's not about pleasing everyone else. I agree with the previous post to just focus on and highlight the positives of a destination wedding and how much it makes you and your fiance happy 

[NJBride2014]

Originally Posted by SimplyMV 

 

Hi brownsugar,

 

Thanks for the great advice

 

I'm trying my best to remain positive about it and you're right it is ultimately about me and the fiance'. I just want everyone to be as excited as I am and so far that is not the case. I've only been comfortable talking with my closest friend and my fiance' about the wedding. When I try to talk to family about it they're very tight-lipped, so I've stopped talking about it with them.  Anyway, I'm hoping everyone will come around and I will try my best to keep it moving with my plans

 and congrats on your engagement SimplyMV.

 

My future MIL isn't too thrilled about the idea either because she thinks that a lot of my fiance's family won't be able to afford it but we are giving them more than a year to pay for it.  It does kind of hurt your feelings when they aren't as excited as you are but I think just do what is right for you and your fiance and hopefully they will come around.  Like you said stay positive and enjoy this time.  Good luck on your planning.

[KWandCM]

We're only inviting immediate family to our destination wedding and have heard mixed responses. Mostly, it seems like the concern is about the cost for people to attend. We understand it isn't cheap but since they are immediate family I guess they feel like they have to attend. It's tricky.. I'm carrying quite a bit of destination wedding guilt around for it...

[brownsugarbride]

Originally Posted by KWandCM 

 

We're only inviting immediate family to our destination wedding and have heard mixed responses. Mostly, it seems like the concern is about the cost for people to attend. We understand it isn't cheap but since they are immediate family I guess they feel like they have to attend. It's tricky.. I'm carrying quite a bit of destination wedding guilt around for it...

 

Please don't carry around that guilt---this is your day. I'm sure that you've worked to minimize costs to guests and that's all you can do. It's likely that some people would have had to travel anyway.

 

As for me, I'm starting to get worried about the cost to US! LOL  I made up my guest list last night, and came up with over 90 people!!!    Since we budgeted for 60 people, even if half of those came, we might be in trouble---especially because FH hasn't given me his list!  LOL   I ended up cutting a number of people (including family) and my mom says we can have an AHR at her house.  We'll also have another one here in the city where we live. Nothing big, just hors d'oeuvres, small favors, and a slide show.  I'm not about to go into debt over my wedding (but certainly don't judge other people's choices) and to have the wedding in RM that I want, sacrifices will have to be made.