Joining Expenses, Accounts, etc....

Jessica Correa · May 3, 2013

So my fiance and I got to the point where we joined our expenses and in the beginning everything was going great. But now I feel like I can't spend my hard earned money on anything without him questioning my spending. Am I the only one who is going through this? is there a way to let him know that I am actually buying things for our apartment that we need! He says he wants to get our bedroom furniture first but I think that other things are also very important to buy. I thought he was going to finance the furniture for the one year zero interest but today after arguing over buying something for the apartment, he mentioned he wants to pay it cash?!?!? I feel like the communication is maybe lacking? and I don't even think we can afford to pay for the bedroom furniture etc. cash when we have this wedding to also pay for. Help anyone?

Jenny2014 · May 3, 2013

Hey Jess,

I posted in another thread to you about this. But now I see more of what you were talking about.

I think you both need to sit down and have a frank discussion about your finances. Many times, couples break up over money, and it really doesn't need to be an issue, so long as the communication is there.

He has ideas of what he thinks is the right way to spend money, as do you. It seems like you have different ideas, and you need to come up with a compromise on how to handle it. We all see home expenses differently, but discussing it and talking it through as what is important versus what isn't maybe necessary right now is key to keeping those lines of communication open.

Could you maybe put some money down on the bedroom furniture, and finance the rest, so your not completely out of pocket the whole amount, but can slowly pay it off interest free?

Like I stated before.... it's hard when you both see the money as "yours" separately, and not joined. Yes, we all work hard for our money, but when your creating a life together, it needs to be seen as "ours", not two separate amounts. If you both still feel that you need to spend separately, why don't you have the joined account for mutual payments (bills, wedding stuff, apartment expenses), and transfer out any remaining amounts to your own chequing accounts. That way it is your spending money to use as you see fit (be it on yourself, on home stuff, etc.)

ucfjennifer · May 16, 2013

Money is a tough topic for many couples and I'm no exception. I don't play around when it comes to money! Haha! We have a joint savings but are planning on keeping separate checking accounts for now. We each have particular bills/monthly expenses that we are responsible for and a set percentage that we transfer to savings. This way if I want to buy that new purse or he wants to buy new tires for his truck, we are both free to do so. I have friends that have a set spending limit (anything over they must discuss first) and others that split everything and others that just have one account. You have to pick what works best for your situation. And just because you choose one way now, it doesn't mean you are stuck with it forever.