A little thing I like to call "Operation Wedding Dress" (aka, my dress is too small... but it won't be soon!)

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by moodyc82 

 

She's just crazy, typical italian mother.....and she thinks she's staying as long as us LOL....not happening, my TA already knows and plans on telling her there's no rooms available. Sorry, not spending my honeymoon with you lady!

 

We're going on a cruise to Alaska!! We booked it last year and he actually was going to propose on the cruise but didn't want to wait  So it will be a nice break before all the craziness begins. We had some other issues since our engagement involving his alcholic father and elderly grandmother so we haven't even been able to enjoy our engagement  So I'm counting down the days until it's just me and him for 10 full days!!! Can't wait

LOL yeah our TA also knows people won't be staying much longer after haha. We want a break and time to spend just us!

 

Awwwww, so cute! Love that he was going to propose on the cruise... but couldn't wait! MY Fi managed to wait 4 months, and 5 days of our vacation before proposing... because he wanted to do it on our 10 year anniversary! So cute haha.

 

I am sure it will be a nice break before all the craziness begins.... everyone keeps saying, oh, it's so far away, things could change.... yes, your right, it is a year and a half away.... BUT, it has ALREADY been 6 months! Time is flying, and we need to make some definite decisions. Which, for all the help from Heaven and down, I will be able to have by the end of today.

 

Ahhh don't you love alcoholic issues.... super fun! Been having a bunch of my own, so I completely get it for both of you!

 

10 days! That is incredible! I would LOVE to do an Alaskan cruise at some point..... though after I have experienced all the hot places I can get to! haha! Living in the GTA area of Ontario means its always too flipping cold... and as much as I would LOVE to enjoy the Alaskian beauty (as I know it is!)... there are soooo many beaches in this world that I need to dig my feet into

 

Have fun!!!!!! 10 whole days, just the two of you and no one else! Incredible

[jandl2013]

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

 

SERIOUSLY, right??

 

I am so dreading this conversation with my parents, because I know it is just going to upset us all... and my mom is going to be so pissy because it's almost mother's day and I am just trying to ruin it for her, blah, blah, blah. And what does it matter if some of those people come, how can I possibly NOT invite my godmother and godfather.... they will pay for all these additional people, so what does it matter......

 

It matters EVERYTHING. We aren't super close with them, and if we let them invite a few people, then we have to do the same for Amir's parents, and then we are right back to where we are standing. So no one from their list is invited, no one from Amir's parent's list is invited... they all can come to our stupid huge reception. End of discussion. Oh, they all have to fly in from out West? Too bad, so does Amir's dad's siblings... who live in PAKISTAN.

 

Like frig.... So sad I know the exact fight I am walking into.... but I am doing it on my own, without Amir, because he doesn't need to see my parents at their absolute worst, behaviour wise. He already knows/ see's so much from them and tolerates it... I just don't need my mom being herself and possibly offending him/ having the two of them fighting on top of it. I will take the brunt of my parent's wrath.

 

Originally Posted by moodyc82 

 

OH I know the feeling girl, hang in there. His mother expects us to have a huge stupid reception when we come home and he straight out told her no, if she wants it than she pays for it. And that the only people invited to the wedding are our CLOSE friends and family. Like sunday she was over for the FI bday dinner and she's like well what friends are you inviting and I'm like the people in the wedding party (6 ppl all together) and that's that. She's like well what about blah blah blah and so and so, and I'm like we don't hang out with them. I'm seriously about to snap on her. Yet my mother and my grandmother haven't asked to invite anyone and are completely ok with EVERYTHING. Like seriously?! So than she's like well when do we have to book by? And I was like we put 10 rooms on hold and when they're gone they're gone and if the resort is sold out than there's nothing I can do so I would suggest you put the $50 deposit down sooner rather than later. Than she had a comment on dresses, about how I shouldn't get a heavy one. I was like I'm going to get whatever I look the best in. Like who care's if I'm hot if I look rockin in it! Smh.....I think when we get back from a trip we're going on in June that the shit is going to hit the fan with all this. Bridezilla here I come....lol

Yikes!  I had a lot of those same issues also.  My initial wedding should have been in St. Lucia September 27, 2013, but between the crowd (family and some of our friends), my fiance (allowing people to tell him what they want), my house renovation, and my job I almost had a complete meltdown.  I made changes due to the circumstances of having travel concerns for the St. Lucia trip since my family is huge and coming from multiple desinations:  NY, NJ, MD, Canada, England, and Jamaica.  His family is fragmented and apparently most of them and his friends seemed highly unwiling to travel. I refused to get married in Jamaica due to my family being large and i would have had to invite EVERYONE if I did it there, so a number of my family members were fussing about my island selection ignoring the fact that my fiance's family is not from the same island.  It just seemed like the airfare was ridiculously high or had long long layovers to get to St. Lucia, then people couldn't gage what their cost would be because we were not staying at an all-inclusive.  To avoid any further issues, I changed the whole destination to Punta Cana which has more frequent flight options that are also reasonably priced as well as has more all-inclusive options so that people can eat, drink, be merry, bring their kids (or not).  I did want my family and his family to be happy, but not at the cost or our happiness.

 

I got tired of all of the negativity and my FH and I almost had a huge fight before I told him we can just go to the justice of peace and be done with it all.  That's when it dawned on him that we will NEVER please everyone and everyone would have been really pissed if we ran off and eloped...lol.  Luckily we took a long deep breath, had a long talk, and came to the conculsion that it's OUR day and it's about what we want to begin the celebration of our lives together.  At the end of the day, people have a choice to make and they can either stay home or come and be supportive and have a good time.  I know I have made all of the concessions I plan on making for anyone regarding our day.  I don't care if we have 20 people or 100, I will be there to marry my honey!   Our guests will have endless food options, a nice resort, a nice wedding and surpise great reception at JellyFish.  If they choose to be crazy, my FH and I will ignore them and concentrate on OUR beautiful day.  Hard to deal with the troublemakers, but if you just keep pushing forward everything will eventually work out. 

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

LOL yeah our TA also knows people won't be staying much longer after haha. We want a break and time to spend just us!

 

Awwwww, so cute! Love that he was going to propose on the cruise... but couldn't wait! MY Fi managed to wait 4 months, and 5 days of our vacation before proposing... because he wanted to do it on our 10 year anniversary! So cute haha.

 

I am sure it will be a nice break before all the craziness begins.... everyone keeps saying, oh, it's so far away, things could change.... yes, your right, it is a year and a half away.... BUT, it has ALREADY been 6 months! Time is flying, and we need to make some definite decisions. Which, for all the help from Heaven and down, I will be able to have by the end of today.

 

Ahhh don't you love alcoholic issues.... super fun! Been having a bunch of my own, so I completely get it for both of you!

 

10 days! That is incredible! I would LOVE to do an Alaskan cruise at some point..... though after I have experienced all the hot places I can get to! haha! Living in the GTA area of Ontario means its always too flipping cold... and as much as I would LOVE to enjoy the Alaskian beauty (as I know it is!)... there are soooo many beaches in this world that I need to dig my feet into

 

Have fun!!!!!! 10 whole days, just the two of you and no one else! Incredible

We never get that many days together. He works over nights so I only sleep with him two nights a week! So vaca's are something extra special. I've never cruised before so I'm kind of excited. His goal is to hit all 50 states before he is 35 (he turned 31 yesterday) and with Alaska and Washington down in June he will have 8 states left! Woooo. My TA is my best friends sister so she totally gets it lol. It's been almost 2months for us and time does fly! Once we send out the save the dates in July times is going to fly by. And I need to have my guest list to my WC by March 16th 2014. So that's really not that far away. Than I can order the little things like chair sashes etc. Ugh...hate waiting

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by jandl2013 

 

 

Yikes!  I had a lot of those same issues also.  My initial wedding should have been in St. Lucia September 27, 2013, but between the crowd (family and some of our friends), my fiance (allowing people to tell him what they want), my house renovation, and my job I almost had a complete meltdown.  I made changes due to the circumstances of having travel concerns for the St. Lucia trip since my family is huge and coming from multiple desinations:  NY, NJ, MD, Canada, England, and Jamaica.  His family is fragmented and apparently most of them and his friends seemed highly unwiling to travel. I refused to get married in Jamaica due to my family being large and i would have had to invite EVERYONE if I did it there, so a number of my family members were fussing about my island selection ignoring the fact that my fiance's family is not from the same island.  It just seemed like the airfare was ridiculously high or had long long layovers to get to St. Lucia, then people couldn't gage what their cost would be because we were not staying at an all-inclusive.  To avoid any further issues, I changed the whole destination to Punta Cana which has more frequent flight options that are also reasonably priced as well as has more all-inclusive options so that people can eat, drink, be merry, bring their kids (or not).  I did want my family and his family to be happy, but not at the cost or our happiness.

 

I got tired of all of the negativity and my FH and I almost had a huge fight before I told him we can just go to the justice of peace and be done with it all.  That's when it dawned on him that we will NEVER please everyone and everyone would have been really pissed if we ran off and eloped...lol.  Luckily we took a long deep breath, had a long talk, and came to the conculsion that it's OUR day and it's about what we want to begin the celebration of our lives together.  At the end of the day, people have a choice to make and they can either stay home or come and be supportive and have a good time.  I know I have made all of the concessions I plan on making for anyone regarding our day.  I don't care if we have 20 people or 100, I will be there to marry my honey!   Our guests will have endless food options, a nice resort, a nice wedding and surpise great reception at JellyFish.  If they choose to be crazy, my FH and I will ignore them and concentrate on OUR beautiful day.  Hard to deal with the troublemakers, but if you just keep pushing forward everything will eventually work out. 

Awww glad you guys are focusing on things this way! We're going to have a long talk with his mother and brother when we get home and let them know how we feel and being that we're paying for it we're going to do what we want to do and that's that. They don't like they don't have to come.

[Jessica Correa]

I should use that app more. I just forget. All the crap I actually go on my phone and I don't remember that app?? I should move it to the front screen or something.

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by Jessica Correa 

 

I should use that app more. I just forget. All the crap I actually go on my phone and I don't remember that app?? I should move it to the front screen or something.

Do itttttt, lol. I'm addicted to it. Got a great group of friends on there that are very motivating

[jandl2013]

Originally Posted by moodyc82 

 

Awww glad you guys are focusing on things this way! We're going to have a long talk with his mother and brother when we get home and let them know how we feel and being that we're paying for it we're going to do what we want to do and that's that. They don't like they don't have to come.

Trust me when I tell you it's not easy.  I literally cried with my Aunt on the phone before I realized how upset I was about everything.  Every woman plans her wedding and wants what she wants and wants it her way...that's just how it is.  But I was also trying to accommodate everyone and it's virtually impossible to to that.

 

The best thing to do is take a step back from everyone and planning for a few days to let everyone calm down and think rationally, then you and your fiance plan a fun outing to de-stress then have a long talk and a plan for how to approach difficult people because you don't want to get married and have problems with either side of family (cuz that's no fun at all!).  I had an ex who had a nightmare mother and that is no cake walk.  Planning weddings can be so friggin STRESSFUL.  If people would just cooperate and understand that it's about the couple then things would be easier...lol.  Wishful thinking i know

[ironman]

Originally Posted by moodyc82 

 

OH I know the feeling girl, hang in there. His mother expects us to have a huge stupid reception when we come home and he straight out told her no, if she wants it than she pays for it. And that the only people invited to the wedding are our CLOSE friends and family. Like sunday she was over for the FI bday dinner and she's like well what friends are you inviting and I'm like the people in the wedding party (6 ppl all together) and that's that. She's like well what about blah blah blah and so and so, and I'm like we don't hang out with them. I'm seriously about to snap on her. Yet my mother and my grandmother haven't asked to invite anyone and are completely ok with EVERYTHING. Like seriously?! So than she's like well when do we have to book by? And I was like we put 10 rooms on hold and when they're gone they're gone and if the resort is sold out than there's nothing I can do so I would suggest you put the $50 deposit down sooner rather than later. Than she had a comment on dresses, about how I shouldn't get a heavy one. I was like I'm going to get whatever I look the best in. Like who care's if I'm hot if I look rockin in it! Smh.....I think when we get back from a trip we're going on in June that the shit is going to hit the fan with all this. Bridezilla here I come....lol

 

Ugh, this is a similar reason as to why I had a meltdown on the weekend. Our wedding is 7+ months away, and there keeps being all this talk about AHR's. I lost it and just pulled the plug on them all together. For now I want (and need!) to focus and be excited for the people who are attending our wedding, not those who aren't. And I've been so stressed with RSVP's for our wedding that I don't even want to consider thinking about going through this again. I had my FI tell his Mom that we won't even consider thinking about an AHR until AFTER the wedding, and to please stop mentioning it to their side of the family in case it doesn't happen. We get married in December, and if we need to travel to the east coast for a reception it won't be until the summer of 2014 anyways, so there's a ton of time for my stress levels to dissipate. Plus at this moment I want to use all of my 2014 vacation time for our honeymoon instead.

 

I felt horrible for the entire past weekend (we spent it with his sister, and just some of the conversations we had made me feel like a mean person for feeling a certain way about some wedding things), but I've been able to mostly keep my eating on track for the past few days. Today for lunch I had a Lean Cuisine since we didn't have any good leftovers, and I can't believe I used 6 WW points for it. I'm going to go for a run after work too to hopefully help me earn a glass of wine tonight!

[DinaQtobe]

I just came back from a run.  (When I say run I mean run/walk).  I did NOT want to go tonight.  I was so tired.  I forced myself to (I just keep thinking about how I want to look in November).  I am SO glad that I went.  I feel less tired and have energy!  I am posting this to hopefully motivate anyone who was feeling the same way I was after work today!

 

 

I also am dealing with difficulty with the Future In-Laws.  I think it is just part of the process, honestly.  Even if we were having a wedding in Canada, I am sure we would still have issues (though likely not the same ones).  When I first started looking at resorts I was looking at them with my FI's family in mind.  I fell in love with the Now Sapphire and almost didn't book it because I was thinking too much of them.  Thank goodness I listened to my heart and booked where I wanted!  They have said multiple times that they aren't going to come.  Can you imagine if I had have booked somewhere else for them, and then they don't show up!?  Moral of the story:  do what you want.  You can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to please you.

 

PS, anyone have any good running apps?  I am currently using runtastic, and really like it, but will have to upgrade (ie pay) to get the features of voice over for distance, time, etc.

 

Thanks!

[moodyc82]

Originally Posted by jandl2013 

 

Trust me when I tell you it's not easy.  I literally cried with my Aunt on the phone before I realized how upset I was about everything.  Every woman plans her wedding and wants what she wants and wants it her way...that's just how it is.  But I was also trying to accommodate everyone and it's virtually impossible to to that.

 

The best thing to do is take a step back from everyone and planning for a few days to let everyone calm down and think rationally, then you and your fiance plan a fun outing to de-stress then have a long talk and a plan for how to approach difficult people because you don't want to get married and have problems with either side of family (cuz that's no fun at all!).  I had an ex who had a nightmare mother and that is no cake walk.  Planning weddings can be so friggin STRESSFUL.  If people would just cooperate and understand that it's about the couple then things would be easier...lol.  Wishful thinking i know

We went for a hike today and were talking about how his family was acting and we decided we need some "we" time and are gonna plan a mini get away memorial day weekend and go hiking up in NH at Mt Washington and than focus on our Alaska cruise in June and when we come home deal with his mother's behavior

Originally Posted by ironman 

 

 

Ugh, this is a similar reason as to why I had a meltdown on the weekend. Our wedding is 7+ months away, and there keeps being all this talk about AHR's. I lost it and just pulled the plug on them all together. For now I want (and need!) to focus and be excited for the people who are attending our wedding, not those who aren't. And I've been so stressed with RSVP's for our wedding that I don't even want to consider thinking about going through this again. I had my FI tell his Mom that we won't even consider thinking about an AHR until AFTER the wedding, and to please stop mentioning it to their side of the family in case it doesn't happen. We get married in December, and if we need to travel to the east coast for a reception it won't be until the summer of 2014 anyways, so there's a ton of time for my stress levels to dissipate. Plus at this moment I want to use all of my 2014 vacation time for our honeymoon instead.

 

I felt horrible for the entire past weekend (we spent it with his sister, and just some of the conversations we had made me feel like a mean person for feeling a certain way about some wedding things), but I've been able to mostly keep my eating on track for the past few days. Today for lunch I had a Lean Cuisine since we didn't have any good leftovers, and I can't believe I used 6 WW points for it. I'm going to go for a run after work too to hopefully help me earn a glass of wine tonight!

We decided we will see what we have saved around March/April next year and than see if/what we will do for AHR. We're not going to go broke over this nor pressured by his mom to have one.

Originally Posted by DinaQtobe 

 

I just came back from a run.  (When I say run I mean run/walk).  I did NOT want to go tonight.  I was so tired.  I forced myself to (I just keep thinking about how I want to look in November).  I am SO glad that I went.  I feel less tired and have energy!  I am posting this to hopefully motivate anyone who was feeling the same way I was after work today!

 

 

I also am dealing with difficulty with the Future In-Laws.  I think it is just part of the process, honestly.  Even if we were having a wedding in Canada, I am sure we would still have issues (though likely not the same ones).  When I first started looking at resorts I was looking at them with my FI's family in mind.  I fell in love with the Now Sapphire and almost didn't book it because I was thinking too much of them.  Thank goodness I listened to my heart and booked where I wanted!  They have said multiple times that they aren't going to come.  Can you imagine if I had have booked somewhere else for them, and then they don't show up!?  Moral of the story:  do what you want.  You can't please everyone, and not everyone is going to please you.

 

PS, anyone have any good running apps?  I am currently using runtastic, and really like it, but will have to upgrade (ie pay) to get the features of voice over for distance, time, etc.

 

Thanks!

 

I had no desire to go to the gym today b/c it was so nice out. So I opt for a hike instead, so much fun! I have the nike running app on my ipod that I use. There's the zombie running app that gives you challenges and stuff.

 

I think the FIL would be 1937455715% worse if we were having a Jersey wedding, as of now his father is not invited to our wedding b/c of crap he did in the last month and a half. If it was here we'd have to have him come and more than likely he'd ruin the whole day. Ugh, we were the same with picking a place but finally I said f it. Dreams was the one I really wanted and it was in our budget so I booked it