Losing Sleep Over the Budget- Anxiety- Ridden bride :(

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by Melissa14 

 

You are not alone. My income was not getting the job done either. When we started saving we were almost at a thousand and I had to take $600 out because I had an emergency I needed it for and I cried about it for days. Then, in January my fiance had to get a new car and that's another $500 that he can't save per month for our wedding. For a long time we were each putting $250 direct deposit into our savings account and it was adding up but then we had to start paying vendors all their deposits so the balance is always so low it stresses me OUT! Luckily, my boss realized that either she gave me a good raise or I was gone. I got a raise and I'm hoping this will help ease the stress. My fiance has been applying for side jobs and we are both saving as much as we can. It takes some effort but it will all be worth it and be okay in the end. Long story short YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Yeah, we had close to $1300 saved up, and then I had to take out nearly $700 for the car/insurance. So now we have about $500, so I am hoping to add in a couple thousand from our tax returns. Find out Friday night what we are getting back!

 

Way I keep looking at it, is, hey, at least we have enough to get married legally here. If that is all we can afford, then we have our big dream wedding years from now. Life is life, and we all have to simply make due with what we are given.

 

Thanks for making me not feel so alone.

 

THANK YOU TO ALL OF YOU WHO COMMENTED! You all made me feel much better.

[Kassi22]

I know the excitement of a wedding plays a big factor, but have you considered putting it on-hold for an extra year so you have more time to save and you would be more comfortable?

 

You can absolutely do a beautiful destination wedding on a tight budget if you just go with the basics... but if your heart is set on any extras, why not just wait 6 months or a year longer?

 

When we did up our budget we took in account things that could happen within the year that would eat at our budget... unexpected expenses, etc. Ive seen a lot of people say they will put ever cent away.. but it ends up being about half that because 'this came up' 'or that came up'.

 

Anyways.. just a thought. Either way, its your day.. its your wedding. I can't see guest being disappointed about anything. If they are willing to travel to your wedding, then they are there to see you get married.. not there to see fancy flowers, or get favors, etc.

 

It will work out!
 

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by Kassi22 

 

I know the excitement of a wedding plays a big factor, but have you considered putting it on-hold for an extra year so you have more time to save and you would be more comfortable?

 

You can absolutely do a beautiful destination wedding on a tight budget if you just go with the basics... but if your heart is set on any extras, why not just wait 6 months or a year longer?

 

When we did up our budget we took in account things that could happen within the year that would eat at our budget... unexpected expenses, etc. Ive seen a lot of people say they will put ever cent away.. but it ends up being about half that because 'this came up' 'or that came up'.

 

Anyways.. just a thought. Either way, its your day.. its your wedding. I can't see guest being disappointed about anything. If they are willing to travel to your wedding, then they are there to see you get married.. not there to see fancy flowers, or get favors, etc.

 

It will work out!

 

Our engagement is already two years- if we push it out, I think someone might snap (me!) haha

 

I know we will manage, I was just having a moment of anxiety, and wasn't sharing it with FI because I felt I needed all the answers before we talked about it. Over the last couple of weeks, I have let him in on some of the numbers, and he hasn't flipped out, so I think things will be okay. This wedding is my dream, not his, so I was so worried about how he would respond to a fairly large number. He seems to understand, so here's hoping our chat this weekend goes well!

 

I also know life happens, and if something big comes up that eats into our budget, then that will be the time to make the decision about where this wedding is headed. But worrying over the possible what ifs will drive me insane, so I have to just stop and let it go.

 

I am fairly realistic with our expense budget anyways, for our regular, non- wedding lives. Put so much into our account to pay bills, know what our regular expenses are every month, have so much left over for entertainment, etc. and then it's putting away for the wedding. As much as I would like to say we would put away every last penny, I know that is unrealistic of us, and we aren't big partiers/ adventurers, so cutting back on the very small things we do would make us go crazy and end up resenting that we had zero fun for 2 years.

 

On a VERY good note, FI got a promotion/ new job on Friday! It's for the same company, but into the corporate side, and a much bigger position, which came with a very nice salary package. So we know that realistically, we will basically be putting away what his new income will bring in, and still living off of what we currently are at the moment.

[Kassi22]

Originally Posted by Jenny2014 

 

Our engagement is already two years- if we push it out, I think someone might snap (me!) haha

 

I know we will manage, I was just having a moment of anxiety, and wasn't sharing it with FI because I felt I needed all the answers before we talked about it. Over the last couple of weeks, I have let him in on some of the numbers, and he hasn't flipped out, so I think things will be okay. This wedding is my dream, not his, so I was so worried about how he would respond to a fairly large number. He seems to understand, so here's hoping our chat this weekend goes well!

 

I also know life happens, and if something big comes up that eats into our budget, then that will be the time to make the decision about where this wedding is headed. But worrying over the possible what ifs will drive me insane, so I have to just stop and let it go.

 

I am fairly realistic with our expense budget anyways, for our regular, non- wedding lives. Put so much into our account to pay bills, know what our regular expenses are every month, have so much left over for entertainment, etc. and then it's putting away for the wedding. As much as I would like to say we would put away every last penny, I know that is unrealistic of us, and we aren't big partiers/ adventurers, so cutting back on the very small things we do would make us go crazy and end up resenting that we had zero fun for 2 years.

 

On a VERY good note, FI got a promotion/ new job on Friday! It's for the same company, but into the corporate side, and a much bigger position, which came with a very nice salary package. So we know that realistically, we will basically be putting away what his new income will bring in, and still living off of what we currently are at the moment.

 

Ah, I didn't know the engagement was 2 years.. yeah, I think I would start going a little crazy too We head out in 10 days and I'm going nuts at this point waiting.. and waiting..

 

Weddings are expensive.. to say the least...

 

That's awesome about his promotion!! That should help put your minds at ease a bit. Congrats and happy planning

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by Kassi22 

 

Ah, I didn't know the engagement was 2 years.. yeah, I think I would start going a little crazy too We head out in 10 days and I'm going nuts at this point waiting.. and waiting..

 

Weddings are expensive.. to say the least...

 

That's awesome about his promotion!! That should help put your minds at ease a bit. Congrats and happy planning

 

haha yeah, the engagement is 2 years, we dated for 10, so it's sort of like, okay, let's just do this.

 

WOW!!!!! 10 days!!!!!! That's sooooo cloooosseee! You must be excited!!!!!  (And anxious I am sure!)

 

Yes indeedy weddings are expensive. BUT, DW are soooo much cheaper than at at home wedding. Granted, I have no idea where I would even begin with at at home wedding, because I have ALWAYS wanted a DW.

 

It is awesome about his promotion! So since I pay all of our bills and am the caretaker of our budget, he asked me to write it all down in a spreadsheet and to send it to him. What a difference his bi-weekly/monthy pay made. Especially since we had to increase the gas spendage, and adding in his student loan payback (which we have been deferring), as well as a monthly RRSP contribution, and bringing our savings up to around $500/month. It doesn't completely wipe us out, we have a little bit left over every month for miscellaneous, miscellanous costs. Now it's just up to me to get a better, more relevant and higher paying job and we are good! haha.

[Jenny2014]

SERIOUSLY, Thank you to everyone who commented here. Your advice, comments, experience and patience meant the world to me in my deep dark place of hiding.

 

[Sehausle]

Agree with a lot of these comments...I will say I paid off-the-rack price for my dress though it was not off-the rack (it's worth shopping around and comparing - it cant hurt to ask). I splurged a bit and bought a nicer dress but am planning on selling it afterward (not sentimental about that kind of thing) I went way in advance and they didn't want to lose their off-the-rack version so that saved me 2-300 right there. Then I found shoes I loved on Etsy and basically found the base shoe (touch-ups are used a lot as a base on etsy) and bought that and had another etsy seller recreate the shoe clip so $160 shoes for $70....My fiance is buying a very nice black suit (places run suit deals all of the time) , which is way cheaper than renting a tux...not a fan of the linen look for men personally.

 

I was really losing sleep on the photographer but we had a local photographer who we know (and gave us an amazing deal) do a big engagement shoot for us, so I think the 50 resort photos are going to be just fine. Were telling them to focus more on us and family photos and we will do a few group shots plus guests take pictures of the cake etc...and do you really need professional versions of a close-up of your shoes/table decor etc.?

 

Also, remember the slogan less is more. In 20 years is that bright orange table runner going to stand the test of time?...Is it really a good spend of your money? Keep it simple, chic and elegant. I think some people get carried away and it tends to look cheesy (in my opinion- but to each is own) You're in a beautiful exotic location which will be half of the decor. Don't get carried away with taking too much with you, you want to be able to sit back, relax, and enjoy your day.

 

Vista Print is a really inexpensive place to get menus, cards, invites, etc. Just make sure you visit retailmenot.com first and get a coupon code. We paid $60 for 70 invites, envelopes stickers (to attach to cake boxes so guests can bring their cake with them since dessert is part of our package), and address labels.
 

The excel idea is great...another thing I hear of recently is doing hand-written thank you notes in lieu of favors. A heartfelt note can mean more than a trinket with your name on it (be honest...who needs another koozie?) Were doing cute wine stoppers, which are light, inexpensive, and useful. Shop-around and get deals. Were also doing that cake-box idea which can double as a favor too - I think I spent a total of $6 on everything for it. Were not doing oot bags but just a little goodie bag with some advil, tums etc. and were handing them out ourselves at a little get-together were having the first night at a bar (free of charge) - this was much cheaper than huge canvas bags of things people really don't need. A little token is appreciated but certainly not expected.

 

Set a budget and contribute a small amount weekly.... Also, we used Apple vacations which allowed us to pay off the trip portion a little at a time and up until 2 months before the wedding. That really helped.

 

Don't stress, just set small goals and cross them off your list. Above all try to keep it simple (guests appreciate that) and you will too!

[Sehausle]

A few ways I was able to cut budget costs...I mean no offense to any other bride, this is just my humble opinion : )

 

1) Buy a Suit Vs. Rent a tux...not a fan of the linen look on men. Suits are always on sale (Men's Warehouse had a 40% off sale this month) so this saved us big time.

 

2) Buy "Off the Rack" or plan to sell back - I bought my dress way in advance and asked for the off-the-rack price. They didn't want to lose their only sample so they gave me the off-the-rack price but I am getting a brand new dress which saved me $200-300 dollars.  I also did a ton of shopping around until I spotted the best price (know your style number). I am also selling my dress afterward , I did some research and found that it's a fairly popular style and I have a color-size that have been sold before for about $1,000 (lots of pre owned wedding dress sites to compare)...my dress was over 1300 originally, I paid about 1100 if I get a buyer that means I paid $100 for my dress- not bad!

 

3) Vistaprint- Use retailmenot.com to get awesome deals - we bought 70 invitations, stickers for our favors, and address labels for $60!

 

4) Be creative in your favors- Remember those stickers? They were actually the envelop seals but I changed it to say Welcome to Mexico 2013 (with our names and date) , I will add them to small white cake boxes ($6 from Amazon.com) and use them for people to take their cake back with them to the hotel room as our package comes with both dessert and cake. Another idea, writing a nice personalized letter to each guest...it takes time but it's free and is a beautiful keepsake on nice stationary. Who wants trinket or a koozie with someones name on them...my junk drawer is full of them. We did also opt for a small wine stopper favor, but you could get away with these two things and no one would be the wiser.

 

5) Think Less is More. Is that neon orange or turquoise table runner going to stand the test of time? A lot of people use all these silly props but they look a little cheap and tacky (in my opinion). Keep it simple, classic, chic and elegant. Plus, who wants to carry all that stuff with them? You're in a beautiful location, let that stand out. A paper lantern doesn't come close to matching the natural beauty of your surroundings skip it and save.

 

6) Skip the Photographer. We opted for a really nice engagement session with a local photographer we knew ($200 for over 300 beautiful artsy photos). We will have our resort photographer focus on pictures of us and family. We have some good photographer guests so we are going to ask them to take lots of photos of things like my wedding shoes, cake, and table decor that really do not have to be professional. Think about it, when is the last time you looked at your parents wedding photos - did you even notice the table decor? Nope, just the couple shot...This was a tough decision for me, but in the end it will save us thousands.

 

7) While your at it skip programs- Unless they double as fans and your wedding is in July at the height of heat-misery...otherwise, they will blow away or be thrown away. I promise.

 

8) OOT bags with food or drinks for an all inclusive are just silly (again just my opinion). Guests have a plethora of water, your personalized bottle is only cute to you and maybe your maid of honor. Food is literally everywhere (snacks included), plus no one has room for all that stuff in their luggage unless they check bags. Were doing a small weekend welcome baggy with some essentials (tums, advil etc.) things people might actually use and is just a small token of thanks for coming, but really even that's not necessary.

 

9) Use a good Travel Agent. Ours (Apple) allowed us to pay for the trip portion up until 2 mos prior...doing it a little at a time is much easier than one lump sum.

 

Just keep it simple, keep it organized (excel is awesome), and stick to a budget. Set aside a little each month, and do not touch that fund if possible. Your new marriage does not need the stress of debt, and your wedding will be absolutely amazing because your with the ones you love.

 

Good luck : )

[Jenny2014]

Originally Posted by Sehausle 

 

A few ways I was able to cut budget costs...I mean no offense to any other bride, this is just my humble opinion : )

 

1) Buy a Suit Vs. Rent a tux...not a fan of the linen look on men. Suits are always on sale (Men's Warehouse had a 40% off sale this month) so this saved us big time.

 

2) Buy "Off the Rack" or plan to sell back - I bought my dress way in advance and asked for the off-the-rack price. They didn't want to lose their only sample so they gave me the off-the-rack price but I am getting a brand new dress which saved me $200-300 dollars.  I also did a ton of shopping around until I spotted the best price (know your style number). I am also selling my dress afterward , I did some research and found that it's a fairly popular style and I have a color-size that have been sold before for about $1,000 (lots of pre owned wedding dress sites to compare)...my dress was over 1300 originally, I paid about 1100 if I get a buyer that means I paid $100 for my dress- not bad!

 

3) Vistaprint- Use retailmenot.com to get awesome deals - we bought 70 invitations, stickers for our favors, and address labels for $60!

 

4) Be creative in your favors- Remember those stickers? They were actually the envelop seals but I changed it to say Welcome to Mexico 2013 (with our names and date) , I will add them to small white cake boxes ($6 from Amazon.com) and use them for people to take their cake back with them to the hotel room as our package comes with both dessert and cake. Another idea, writing a nice personalized letter to each guest...it takes time but it's free and is a beautiful keepsake on nice stationary. Who wants trinket or a koozie with someones name on them...my junk drawer is full of them. We did also opt for a small wine stopper favor, but you could get away with these two things and no one would be the wiser.

 

5) Think Less is More. Is that neon orange or turquoise table runner going to stand the test of time? A lot of people use all these silly props but they look a little cheap and tacky (in my opinion). Keep it simple, classic, chic and elegant. Plus, who wants to carry all that stuff with them? You're in a beautiful location, let that stand out. A paper lantern doesn't come close to matching the natural beauty of your surroundings skip it and save.

 

6) Skip the Photographer. We opted for a really nice engagement session with a local photographer we knew ($200 for over 300 beautiful artsy photos). We will have our resort photographer focus on pictures of us and family. We have some good photographer guests so we are going to ask them to take lots of photos of things like my wedding shoes, cake, and table decor that really do not have to be professional. Think about it, when is the last time you looked at your parents wedding photos - did you even notice the table decor? Nope, just the couple shot...This was a tough decision for me, but in the end it will save us thousands.

 

7) While your at it skip programs- Unless they double as fans and your wedding is in July at the height of heat-misery...otherwise, they will blow away or be thrown away. I promise.

 

8) OOT bags with food or drinks for an all inclusive are just silly (again just my opinion). Guests have a plethora of water, your personalized bottle is only cute to you and maybe your maid of honor. Food is literally everywhere (snacks included), plus no one has room for all that stuff in their luggage unless they check bags. Were doing a small weekend welcome baggy with some essentials (tums, advil etc.) things people might actually use and is just a small token of thanks for coming, but really even that's not necessary.

 

9) Use a good Travel Agent. Ours (Apple) allowed us to pay for the trip portion up until 2 mos prior...doing it a little at a time is much easier than one lump sum.

 

Just keep it simple, keep it organized (excel is awesome), and stick to a budget. Set aside a little each month, and do not touch that fund if possible. Your new marriage does not need the stress of debt, and your wedding will be absolutely amazing because your with the ones you love.

 

Good luck : )

 

Thanks for all the advice

 

Most of these I had already handled. We completely changed our wedding and are just having under 30 people come. We will do a big reception back home, with all the speeches, dances, etc. here, and keep Mexico small and intimate. I am just going to pay for the photographer for a couple of hours (since we are not having a reception there).

 

I an undecided about the table runners, etc. but I am thinking more along your lines- just a few candles to make it intimate, and that's it. A while table cloth is fine with me.

 

We aren't doing any actual favours- we are donating to a charity instead (as FI works in the not-for-profit industry), so it only makes sense to do that. Plus, no one really does anythign with favours, so at least this way, the money isn't wasted, and goes to someone in need.

 

We won't be putting food/drinks in our OOT bags- they will be more "oh sh*t" kits, and fun stuff (squirt guns, cheap sunglasses, etc.).

 

FI will be buying a suit- he hates tux's anyways. I bought my dress at a sample sale, so it only cost $680 and my mom and grandma paid for it.

 

Can't use vista print very much- shipping to Canada is ridiculous. So I can only use it when the sales make it worth it.

 

Our TA is free, and has gotten us a good deal. Our invites are actually going to go out in a few weeks, with everyone putting down a $150 deposit. Full payment to be made by January (yes, 9 months ahead), but otherwise the prices are supposed to go up. If people choose to not go along with this deal, then they risk paying more, but that is their choice! They could also pay less/ same and just pay later on is all as well!

 

Ohh, I am ms. organized. I have a whole binder to keep me on track, excel is my second love. We are putting away money every month (though May seems to be a bad month for us- too many birthday's/anniversaries/ parties....) so, we didn't do so well this month. However, we did secure our TA, and 30 spots on the plane for our guests, so it was still an accomplishment this month!

 

Thanks for all the advice again! Appreciate you taking the time to help out a fellow bride!

 

Good luck to you as well!!

[SammyAnna]

It happens to every bride, I think. If it wasn't worry over $, it would be the colors, guest, weather, etc...

try to calm yourself down by imagining a perfect day & dont let the bad images enter.  It will be the best day of your life