I need insight, please help! STD question....

DiggityDawn · February 11, 2013

Hi everyone,

I have been struggling with our STD's. We are about to send out our STDs. I am making magnets with vistaprint for the actual STD, and including a letter of explanation with our website and travel agents info. But I was thinking to also make postcards with vistaprint to include with the STD that will ask people to mark what they would like an invitation for and send back to us.

The choices to mark on the postcard include:

___Mexico wedding celebration

___ Denver wedding reception

___ Both events

___ Sorry, can't attend either

I am going to make it clear that it is not an RSVP for anything, just a heads up to let us know what they want an invitation for (We are actually having a reception in Atlanta before the trip that my FI's parents are hosting, and a Denver reception after that we are hosting, as well as the actual trip.) I know many of my family won't travel to Mexico for our ceremony, but they will ALL most likely go to our Denver reception.

My question to you ladies is this: Do you think my postcard idea is tacky or pushy? I had an extremely negative response from the future in-laws that this is very pushy and postcards are tacky for an RSVP. They were so busy telling me everything wrong with this idea that I couldn't even explain that it is not an RSVP, just a postcard requesting to know which event people would want an invitation for... I just didn't want to bombard everyone with invitations to all these events that many might not even plan on attending. Nor do I want to take the time and put in the expense of making invites to everyone for all our our events that many won't plan on going to anyways.

Any suggestions or comments are appreciated... I am very overwhelmed and reconsidering my STD plans now (again) because of my future in-laws...

Thanks!

Marvandmaya · February 11, 2013

If I were a guest I would be very confused as to what you were asking. Couldn't you send out the save the date to everyone you want to invite to the destination and add something about for anyone unable to attend we will be having a reception at home? I'm not doing an at home reception but there are many others on here who are. Maybe you can look around at some of their invites/save the dates for the AHR. Just my opinion. Good luck.

DiggityDawn · February 11, 2013

What you said is exactly what I am doing. We are sending out 88 STD's to everyone invited to go to the DW. I am including a short note to explain our DW and that there will be a reception in Denver after the DW for everyone who can't make it to the DW.

My problem is, 52 of the 88 invites are for my family. Of the 52, there are only 2 couples who "might attend". I want to send STD's to all of them, with an informative note, so they know they are invited and not excluded, and that we will have a reception upon return for those who don't go to the DW.

But I don't want to send the passport invitations to 52 people who I know won't be going, when time for the invites comes. So along with the STD magnet, and note explaining the DW and receptions, I want to include a postcard reply so that everyone can let us know what they want an actual invitation for. That way I'm not bombarding them with multiple invites to multiple events that they aren't planning to go to anyways.

Am I making any sense? Maybe I'm not communicating my thoughts clearly... lol

Marvandmaya · February 11, 2013

Ohh ok! I got it now lol. And sorry I am of NO help on this one ha ha! Good luck!

DiggityDawn · February 11, 2013

Lol, no worries, I don't think I am explaining my idea too well... especially after the reaction from the in-laws... lol

Peach · February 13, 2013

We sent a STD to people who we wanted to invite, though we knew they likely would not be coming. Then, on our website, we asked people to RSVP early only if they for sure knew they would or would not be able to come. We had a few people tell us (and FI's parents) that they would not be coming. We explained on our website that if you RSVPd NO right away, you would not be bombarded with future wedding mailings, but you would still be invited to our AHR.

Anyone who did not firmly RSVP NO still got an invite. If we did not hear from them or heard that they likely would come, or that they were unsure, they got one. Everyone will get an invite to the AHR.

So maybe you can do something like that? Direct people to your website. It is easier than trying to communicate what you want in such limited space. Many people will not check your website, but some will. That also might be slightly less offensive to your FILs. Then you may be able to limit the invites you send out.

Am I explaining that correctly? I hope it makes sense.