FI venting..

[Sharonie]

Why are most men like that?! Paul will only do something after I ask him to, and then will make it sound like he's doing me a favor! And if I make a comment that he forgot to turn the light off or close the door behind him or put the tools back after he finishes something (he does that even when he's not doing house chores, drives me crazy), he says I am not being appreciative.

[boscobel]

OMG, Matt and I began painting this weekend (will be a few weekends worth of jobs to complete), and he kept leaving the room and saying things like, I'll be right back to help you. I mean, we both did our share of the painting, but what do you mean, "you'll be back to HELP me?" We are painting, not ME. Men. SO I feel your pain there, Sharon.

[Alyssa]

I am really hard core with my FI about this stuff - i grew up in a very traditional house where the women did EVERYTHING and my dad and brother picked their noses while watching TV.

 

I swore i would NEVER tolerate it or be with a man who didn't pull his own weight.

 

I will admit that it took some years and some disagreements but now FI and I split all the housework evenly (i do not have to remind him), we food shop together, give the dog a bath together, run errands together, etc.

 

I promised myself i would never be one of those women i see in the supermarket with 2 babies, a coupon box, a shitload of groceries and no one to help b/c their DH is sitting home on his ass watching football or something

[coming together]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jlink78 I'm in the same boat ladies...my sympathies are with you! I have to say that he's great with maintaining the outside of the house but once he steps through that door all hell breaks loose. Like Liz I used to be a clean freak but once we moved in together I learned that I had to chill out or we'd never make it. I'm much better now but I still have my days when I come home and freak out. Seems to be once a month and correlates to PMSing! Is there really a need to have 3 pairs of shoes in the den It's not like he has 6 feet!

OMG, seriously!!!! I think my man has 6 feet as well.. lol!!!!

[jak27]

Quote:

Originally Posted by starfish kate Also, I finally decided to have someone come in and clean every other week. I was to the point that I was spending an entire day cleaning and stressing about it. Mike would say "don't worry about it" but the house won't clean itself! I do stuff in between cleanings but I don't spend a whole day doing it anymore. It is the best investment I've ever made!

Me too! After living w/ FI for a year, I finally realized that to him, clean meant piling things up, just like Christa. He thinks stacking things until they're three feet tall is clean. Um, no.

So we hired a lady through a friend of a friend, she charges $60 and comes twice a month...it is the best money I have ever spent. We don't fight anymore, I am not angry at him for being messy or not helping enough, and we get to spend more time together not cleaning. And every time I come home from work on those Wednesdays, it makes me smile and we have a clean, fabulous house. Of course, until we cook dinner and it's dirty again. But it's soo worth it!

[melglnh2o]

I am actually lucky because my FI is as much of a clean freak as I am. The house is always clean and he never leaves anything laying around. But the thing that bothers me so much is that he never tells me things until the last minute. I am as much a planner as I am a go with the flow kind of person, but he will call me at work at 5pm and tell me that there is a family dinner at 6pm when he knows I usually work until around 6pm and it will take me at least 40 minutes to get there. Although he knew about it for a week or more. Or just recently I found out that he had already purchased a ticket to fly to Budapest (I knew that he was thinking of going and I am excited for him) but he bought the ticket weeks ago and "forgot" to tell me. Once he received his itinerary he could have easily clicked on the forward button and done! It isn't as if he is going to see a friend that lives 20 minutes away. Guys just don't think sometimes but you have to love them!!!

[Sharonie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jak27 So we hired a lady through a friend of a friend, she charges $60 and comes twice a month...it is the best money I have ever spent. We don't fight anymore, I am not angry at him for being messy or not helping enough, and we get to spend more time together not cleaning. And every time I come home from work on those Wednesdays, it makes me smile and we have a clean, fabulous house. Of course, until we cook dinner and it's dirty again. But it's soo worth it!

I swear, that is what I am going to do as well when we get a new house together!!! I hate cleaning other than kitchen and bathroom, I agree this will be so worth it.

[jak27]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sharonie I swear, that is what I am going to do as well when we get a new house together!!! I hate cleaning other than kitchen and bathroom, I agree this will be so worth it.

It is sooo worth it! I mean, I avoided doing it for a while b/c I was like, that's $120/month, and trying to be frugal and all, but I'm sure I've wasted $60 on something before, and at least this is going to good use. Totally worth it, now I love being home! And she cleans like no one I've ever known. She has this way of doing the pillows on the bed that just look great, and I can never recreate it...I hate taking them off that night because it won't look that good for another week!

[starfish kate]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jak27 It is sooo worth it! I mean, I avoided doing it for a while b/c I was like, that's $120/month, and trying to be frugal and all, but I'm sure I've wasted $60 on something before, and at least this is going to good use. Totally worth it, now I love being home! And she cleans like no one I've ever known. She has this way of doing the pillows on the bed that just look great, and I can never recreate it...I hate taking them off that night because it won't look that good for another week!

I totally agree! She's coming tomorrow and I can't wait! I am rather particular so we went through a rough spot at first, but now she understands what's important to me. I pay $65 ever other week, but SOOO worth it. We no longer argue about cleaning.

[dragonfly]

Oh try living in a home with 5 children, and a man!!!

 

I don't expect anything from Everton except pick up your own sh!#. The worst is when he cooks, he does not understand the concept of clean up as you go, he also doesn't relize that cleaning the kitchen also means wiping the counters. It is also funny how I can put his clean laundry on the landing for him to carry up and he will step right over it, for days, if it didn't bug me so much. Then he will just wear the clothes out of the laundry basket, who needs drawers, right!

 

On the positive he does do all the groceries, I hate grocery stores, and he is a really great cook.

 

Now as for the kids, well that is whole other thread, lol.