Frustrated....FI mother is trying to make our court wedding a big deal when were looking at it as just legal paperwork before our Destination wedding

[neb7983]

Is it wrong for me to be upset that my FI mother is trying to make a big deal and invite people to our court wedding at home. I originally didn’t want any family to come and just wanted to pick two random people to be our witnesses. I’ve put so much time and work into our destination wedding to make it perfect and to save on cost we wanted to do the legal part at home and not tell anyone.  The day I walk down the aisle is the day we are going to consider ourselves married and celebrate. I just don’t understand why she won’t respect  our wishes.

[CanadianLindsey]

Originally Posted by neb7983 

 

Is it wrong for me to be upset that my FI mother is trying to make a big deal and invite people to our court wedding at home. I originally didn’t want any family to come and just wanted to pick two random people to be our witnesses. I’ve put so much time and work into our destination wedding to make it perfect and to save on cost we wanted to do the legal part at home and not tell anyone.  The day I walk down the aisle is the day we are going to consider ourselves married and celebrate. I just don’t understand why she won’t respect  our wishes.

 

No way, you are totally allowed to feel frustrated and like she's sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong. It really has nothing to do with her, or anyone else other than the 2 people getting married.  We didn't tell anyone(except our 2 witnesses) about our legal ceremony until our guests started asking questions at the reception (we had my mom do the symbolic ceremony so people kept asking if it was legal). I wouldn't even tell people the date of our legal ceremony because to us, our wedding day in Mexico is our wedding day & the day we celebrate as our anniversary. Tell her it's just paperwork and you'd appreciate she save her excitement for your wedding day

[Cherina]

I think that is great advise. She doesn't seem to mean harm, she is over excited. Or you could just go, not tell her when and say the ceremony in Mexico is legal

[Jessica4LUXE]

Many of our brides and grooms keep the 'legal' at home portion to themselves! In destination, they definitely make a 'symbolic' ceremony appear to be legally binding.

 

I myself had a court ceremony and had my cousin officiate us with a ceremony we had written... though my guests knew it was not legally binding, it was very much my one and only wedding

[RNtoBe]

I would be very frustrated! My mom has been a bit pushy with a few wedding details including our hush hush legal ceremony the day before we leave for Mexico. I've put my foot down, we've asked our two good friend to be our witnesses, us, the JP and that is it! I would talk to her again again and explain to her how things are going to be, I've had to be quite stern with a few family members who weren't getting it.

[TauruSmith]

We are keeping the date of our legal wedding to ourselves to keep this from happening too. I understand what it is like to have an overbearing future MIL, so I would have your fiance let her know that you do not want anyone there and there are no ifs, ands or buts about it.

[Janelle0308]

I'm in the exact same situation but have to convince my FI to tell his parents they aren't invited to the legal bit.  What to do?!?