friend vent... what would you do?

[Wisco4]

Wait, isn't your wedding a month away? Sounds like she's not gonna make it. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I bet you she doesn't have the $, owes everyone around town and feels bad about it. Hence, not taking your calls. I'd stop by her house and confront her.

[MsShelley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wisco4 Wait, isn't your wedding a month away? Sounds like she's not gonna make it. I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I bet you she doesn't have the $, owes everyone around town and feels bad about it. Hence, not taking your calls. I'd stop by her house and confront her.

yup, a month away!! yeah, not so much counting on her

[NYJen]

Oh Shelley, I'm soooo sorry she's doing this to you. I HATE when people lie!!! If she's not going to the wedding, why doesn't she just come out and say it? I'm sure she knows that if she told you she was having financial problems and couldn't make it, that you would understand. So what's the big deal? Why lie Makes me think something else is going on. And what's this about her not calling your sis back about your shower. Something is up. You should call her up, invite her over for dinner one night (when Amos is out) and confront her with everything. Show her you're a concerned friend who wants to know what's going on.

[MsShelley]

Quote:

Originally Posted by JenandBrendan Oh Shelley, I'm soooo sorry she's doing this to you. I HATE when people lie!!! If she's not going to the wedding, why doesn't she just come out and say it? I'm sure she knows that if she told you she was having financial problems and couldn't make it, that you would understand. So what's the big deal? Why lie Makes me think something else is going on. And what's this about her not calling your sis back about your shower. Something is up. You should call her up, invite her over for dinner one night (when Amos is out) and confront her with everything. Show her you're a concerned friend who wants to know what's going on.

I know, I would totally be ok with it if she was just up front....

[Chiquita]

I personally cannot stand people like that. If I had a friend who did that to me, they would not be a friend for much longer. I tend to "lose contact" (on purpose) people who do not reciprocate friendship etc.

 

Whenever she wants you to do her hair again, say you are booked up and do NOT do it. You don't need her kind of friendship in your life! IMO

[dragonfly]

Shelley you have to decide if you will be happier with or without her in your life. If the answer is in your life let it go and just don't cut her hair anymore. If it is without then still let it go and move your focus to more positive things in your life and leave the drama of this friendship behind.

 

I am a big believer that some people are meant to be in your lives for a certain time, and then for whatever reasons life moves forward and sometimes it is just healthier to move forward without them.

 

I have moved forward in my life without the friend that I thought was my most important friendship, I will always love her, and there was no drama in the split we simply stopped speaking. I was hurt because I loved her so much but I had another good friend say to me friendship needs to be easy. Our relationships with our partners take work, our relationship with our children take work, our relationships with our families take work, the relationships with our friends should be easy. They should be our refuge from all else they should be forgiving, understanding, low maintenence, honest, fun, joyful, helpful, peaceful, and they should be respectful, if they are not these things then maybe it is time for new friendships. Friendship should add to your life, never take from it. You can still care and love for past friends but you must know what is healthy and good for you. My friend was so right that my life is so much more peaceful without my very good friend in it, and yes of course I miss her but I have to filll my life with positive energy for my sake, my husbands sake, and my childrens.

 

So Shelley look at what is best for you and your fh, and make your choices without anger and resentment. We can not control the people around us, only you can control what is good for you.

 

Kelly~

[Chiquita]

Hmm.. Kelly said it much better than I did.. heh

[1elephant]

Quote:

Originally Posted by dragonfly

So Shelley look at what is best for you and your fh, and make your choices without anger and resentment. We can not control the people around us, only you can control what is good for you.

 

Kelly~

 

so true, and something i always TRY to remember....doesn't always work for me tho....i'm too much of a b*tch. i'm not so good at these kind of touchy friends issues - hence the reason why i don't have many friends either....

in theory, i'd call her and say, "listen, i'm a little disappointed mostly b/c i think that you're taking advantage of me. i don't feel as thought i can trust you, and i hope you understand why."

in reality, i'd probably wait and wait and wait for her to call, which she wouldn't, and there goes my friendship w/ her (been there before....).

 

let us know what you do.....

[rodent]

I've had a few friends like this. They are constantly seeing what they can get from people. When they do get extra cash, they don't pay people back- they spend it on themselves.

 

If she doesn't have the money she doesn't need to get her hair dyed. It's not a neccessity.

 

She may be a great friend in other areas, so don't let it ruin your friendship. Just protect yourself. I always have my guard up with friends like that. In a way it does ruin the friendship. I'm less likely to want to do stuff with them because it becomes stressful.

[cessyboston]

wow this has happened to me i no longer do hair home but i do do a few friends in work they pay my bosses 1/2 not my 1/2 sometimes i feel taken for granted but they do sometimes bring me i gifts but if i where you i would no longer do her hair i dont think thats nice once maybe twice but i beleive in maybe a bottle of wine or pick up a pizza or even a card to say how much she appriciates you...so sorry shelly i wish you and i lived closer we could go for a great martini.....