Family Pressure

[jamisoncollette]

My mother informed me today that not only does she hate the idea of going to Puerto Rico for the wedding but so does FMIL who up to now has been going on and on about how great it is. FI thinks it is pressure from his step-dad. Step-dad's daughter(the step-twit) announced not only her engagement after ours but then also picked the Saturday after our wedding for her own date. Never mind that the STD's had been mailed and clearly indicated Puerto Rico! Now FI's family will need to rush back to NY. My mom wants me to just elope and keeps mentioning how my brothers cannot afford to go and how much it will cost blah blah blah. Well if my brothers would get jobs and stop spending their money on alcohol perhaps they could swing it! Wedding planning sucks!

[rodent]

Quote:

Originally Posted by jamisoncollette My mother informed me today that not only does she hate the idea of going to Puerto Rico for the wedding but so does FMIL who up to now has been going on and on about how great it is. FI thinks it is pressure from his step-dad. Step-dad's daughter(the step-twit) announced not only her engagement after ours but then also picked the Saturday after our wedding for her own date. Never mind that the STD's had been mailed and clearly indicated Puerto Rico! Now FI's family will need to rush back to NY. My mom wants me to just elope and keeps mentioning how my brothers cannot afford to go and how much it will cost blah blah blah. Well if my brothers would get jobs and stop spending their money on alcohol perhaps they could swing it! Wedding planning sucks!

Wow! that's rough. How do you feel about eloping? I think if people were being that rude to me, I'd prefer to go alone. Or have your good friends come along- just the people who are excited & want to celebrate with you. If your family is not cooperating you might have a better time without them. But it all depends on how you feel about it. You shouldn't go without your family if you would be sad not having them there. I personally would rather only have the positive, supportive people at my wedding. If anyone has a problem with it, they can just watch the DVD when we get back.

[StephanieMN]

UUGH! Don't you just love this crap?! Here is what I keep telling myself, and now you, you are NEVER going to please everyone involved. If you had the standard wedding in your home town someone would complain about the long walk from the car or that the chicken was too dry. Now are just getting to hear different complaints. Don't change your plans for your family--only change them for yourself.

[JaimeLynne]

That is crazy! In my opinion the pressure should be taken off of you and placed on FI's step sister to MOVE HER WEDDING DATE!!! Geez!!! We announced our intentions of getting engaged shortly after FI's bro proposed to his FI. We had already been talking about it for so long and their engagement came as quite a shock to everyone. We were engaged about 4 months later (btw my FI did ask his bro's "permission" before proceeding). We then made sure to put plenty of time between our weddings. There's will be in March of '08, and ours in May of '09. We really didn't want to steal their thunder and kept them in mind throughout the planning.

[Jessica]

Sounds like fun times. I agree, step-sister should be the one changing her date. If she's the pain in the ass type, I can only assume she did this on purpose for some silly reason.

 

Anyway, I say, if you guys want to get married in PR, do it. If people don't want to come or whatever, so what, their loss. You'll have an awesome time with the people who do come. I know it's hard to think this way, especially when it's possibly your own mother and brothers who may not come, but they're all grown-ups and should understand the concept of priorities.

 

I also hate when people use money as the excuse. Ok, in some instances, it really is the issue, but I think more often than not people could swing the costs if they just actually saved the money and stopped spedning it on frivilous stuff. It is their choice how to spend their money, but they shouldn't lay a guilt trip on you if they are spending their money unwisely instead of saving for the wedding trip.

 

Personally, ever since my own DW, I'm all about destination weddings. I am bummed none of my friends who are engaged are planning DW's because I'd totally be motivated to save up and attend. I love any opportunity I can get to travel!!

[Yari]

I agree with everyone, go with the DW!

 

Unfortunatley, you can't please everyone...but you should be selfish and please yourself!

[BrittneyD]

I am sorry she is being such an ass about this. I know that it puts a huge burden on you. I would really try to block out your mom and anyone else that has a negative opinion. This is your and your FI's day. Don't worry about what other people think or who will come. Just know tht you will marry the man of your dreams at a beautiful destination.

[fogdog]

I got the same pressure from my family to not do our wedding in Cabo. I decided to go ahead with it anyway knowing that those who really cared would be there. And guess what...after all that complaining, they're now coming and looking forward to it. If you stay strong and continue planning, people will start to realize that if they want to participate they have to go along with your plan and as long as they have to go along, they may as well get happy about it

[JanaBrooke]

That seriously sucks! I agree with everyone else and you should do what YOU want to do. It is YOUR day and you will have a great memorable time regardless. I am sure they will come around though, how could your mom miss her own daughter's wedding!! Do what is in your heart!

[starchild]

I'm with everyone else, as much as it may sadden you to not have certain people there you have to do what you and FI want. Hopefully the others will come around but if not you'll still be marrying the man you want in the place you want. Best wishes )