2013 At Home Receptions (AHR's)

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by JMK923 

 

Hi ladies! This forum has so much great information about AHR, I'm so glad I found this! We are in the process of planning a casual AHR down at the shore, 3 months after we return from our DW - we're getting married February 2014 in Mexico and are hoping to have the AHR in June in New Jersey. We are looking into various restaurants for pricing on an open bar for a few hours and hor d'oeuvres or a small buffet. However, I'm still confused how to go about inviting guests to the AHR - which is really just a casual party for everyone who coudn't make it to the DW that we wish could have been there. We are inviting all our close friends and family to the DW which is 190 people. So, I guess my question is when sending out the formal invitations to the DW, do I give guests the option to choose between attending the DW or AHR DW? Would doing this cause confusion? Or, do I send out the invitations to the DW first and then later send out invitations to the AHR? Do I invite everyone that was invited to the DW to the AHR, or only those that couldn't make the DW (since I'm pretty much having it for those people)? Sorry this is so long, I'm just at a loss on the proper way to handle this Thanks!!

 

We thought about this and came to the conclusion that if you present the AHR as an option, people will figure, why spend the money to travel? We sent out our wedding invites without telling anyone about the AHR option, also because quite frankly we weren't even sure we were having one when we sent out the invites haha and then we are sending separate inexpensive invites for the AHR. The invites for the AHR are from Wedding Paper Divas- and we actually shopped their engagement/ shower invites instead of actual wedding invites because they can be as cheap as $0.69 per invite depending on the design for engagement/ shower invites! Can't beat that! I just think people will misinterpret the AHR as a separate reception and figure it is interchangeable with the wedding. Your real wedding is in Mexico, so you want people to go to that if they can. If they regrettably cannot, then they can go to the AHR but if you present the option its either confusing or just an easy way out for people to not attend your actual wedding. 

[albellis]

We have a lot of people that are too old to travel or it just wasn't possible financially, so we knew up front we were going to have an AHR. I included a letter with our Save the Dates which mentioned that we understand that not everyone could make it to Jamaica so we would be having a reception back here afterwards. Then we sent everyone the invite to Jamaica about 7-8 months before the wedding and we will send a separate invitation for our AHR as the date gets closer, about 2 months prior to the AHR date.

[albellis]

Oh, I forgot to mention that we are sending the AHR invite to all the people that we sent the DW invite to. I don't want anyone to be excluded and they are all welcome to help us celebrate back home with the rest of our family and friends. We have about 15-20 attending the DW and are expecting close to 100 for the AHR.

[Mady28]

EVKnowsitall -

 

I have been getting the same thing from my guests. People have complained to me that it's not convenient for them, and that we should have taken everyone into consideration. It really gets me frustrated! In the end it's my wedding, and people forget that I am not trying to accomodate my schedule to everyone else's needs, otherwise we would never get married! I just wanted to make sure I was not the only one going through this.

[JMK923]

Originally Posted by EVKnowsitall 

 

 

We thought about this and came to the conclusion that if you present the AHR as an option, people will figure, why spend the money to travel? We sent out our wedding invites without telling anyone about the AHR option, also because quite frankly we weren't even sure we were having one when we sent out the invites haha and then we are sending separate inexpensive invites for the AHR. The invites for the AHR are from Wedding Paper Divas- and we actually shopped their engagement/ shower invites instead of actual wedding invites because they can be as cheap as $0.69 per invite depending on the design for engagement/ shower invites! Can't beat that! I just think people will misinterpret the AHR as a separate reception and figure it is interchangeable with the wedding. Your real wedding is in Mexico, so you want people to go to that if they can. If they regrettably cannot, then they can go to the AHR but if you present the option its either confusing or just an easy way out for people to not attend your actual wedding. 

 

Originally Posted by albellis 

 

We have a lot of people that are too old to travel or it just wasn't possible financially, so we knew up front we were going to have an AHR. I included a letter with our Save the Dates which mentioned that we understand that not everyone could make it to Jamaica so we would be having a reception back here afterwards. Then we sent everyone the invite to Jamaica about 7-8 months before the wedding and we will send a separate invitation for our AHR as the date gets closer, about 2 months prior to the AHR date.

 

Thank you both for your input! I was actually talking to my dad this morning (since he's the one paying for everything) and we are thinking about just providing food for everyone at the AHR, and not having an open bar at all. He thinks open bars can get out of control sometimes lol especially with my side of the family. Which I agree, I don't want it to turn into a drinking fest since it's just a fun party for everyone, and to celebrate my FI and I's new life together as a married couple. My FI also brought up a good point - he said if people want an open bar then they should come to our wedding in Mexico! Lol. Not to mention an open bar is pretty expensive! But, I am going to price out an open bar with wine and beer only since someone else on here mentioned that option can cut costs significantly! I think liquor is where it gets expensive... and also out of control!

 

As far as the invites, I think I'm just going to send out the invite for the DW first. I agree with both of your points and I'm particuarly struggling with the fact that my FI's side of the family is having a tough time paying to travel for a DW. But, if I give guests the option to choose I do not want it jeopardize our attendance for our actual wedding, because I'm sure A LOT of people would opt for the less expensive option.. I know I would! So, I am going to send out a separate invite for the AHR and spin it off more as a "Just Married" party and invie everyone

 

Thank you both so much, you girls are SO helpful!!

[EVKnowsitall]

Thank you both for your input! I was actually talking to my dad this morning (since he's the one paying for everything) and we are thinking about just providing food for everyone at the AHR, and not having an open bar at all. He thinks open bars can get out of control sometimes lol especially with my side of the family. Which I agree, I don't want it to turn into a drinking fest since it's just a fun party for everyone, and to celebrate my FI and I's new life together as a married couple. My FI also brought up a good point - he said if people want an open bar then they should come to our wedding in Mexico! Lol. Not to mention an open bar is pretty expensive! But, I am going to price out an open bar with wine and beer only since someone else on here mentioned that option can cut costs significantly! I think liquor is where it gets expensive... and also out of control! As far as the invites, I think I'm just going to send out the invite for the DW first. I agree with both of your points and I'm particuarly struggling with the fact that my FI's side of the family is having a tough time paying to travel for a DW. But, if I give guests the option to choose I do not want it jeopardize our attendance for our actual wedding, because I'm sure A LOT of people would opt for the less expensive option.. I know I would! So, I am going to send out a separate invite for the AHR and spin it off more as a "Just Married" party and invie everyone Thank you both so much, you girls are SO helpful!!

Glad to be of assistance! That's how we are spinning it and you know what? It's so much more fun that way. It's stress free planning because it doesn't have the pressure of an actual wedding. We were even of thinking of playful invitations like "in case you missed it...Elvin and Evelyn got married" or "help the new Mr. And Mrs. Toast their new married life". It's just a big fat party for us. I get the whole financial strain- my mom is quick to remind me regularly that although we saved ourselves money our wedding is hurting everyone's pocket. My philosophy is- then don't come and join us at the AHR. I would not be upset of we had just a few guests, but yes- if you give people an option they'll choose the cheaper one. Everyone we invited to our wedding is invited to the AHR. I'm sure we will have a huge turnout and we plan on wearing our wedding attire again ; )

[albellis]

We are having cocktails for an hour before dinner, so we'll cover the cost of liquor, beer, wine, soda. Then when dinner starts, we will pay for the beer, soda, and coffee. If people want liquor at that point, they can buy their own. The beer cost isn't too bad since we are paying for it as a barrel, and I'm thinking a lot of people will come closer to dinner, so hopefully our alcohol costs won't be too bad.

[Kristen112808]

EVknowsitall-  I like your take on sending out the formal wedding invites first then sending AHR invites later.  It seems less confusing for guests as they wont be bombarded with all this info amd dates.

 

Did anyone else do this?  Or was it more of a hassle of tracking down people x2 if they didn't rsvp to one/both events?  I just want to make things as simple as possible for my guests...and myself! Lol

[Mufin1785]

My AHR reception is in 9 days! 

With the original Wedding invitation we included an invite to the the AHR

 

 

 

We sent out a reminder after we returned from our destination wedding, we made these photo cards on Shutterfly. 

We are having a Champagne Brunch at a Small Reception Hall with Champagne, Wine Beer and Mama-Juana.  We brought 3 large bottles back from the DR and the Hall said that they would serve behind the bar.  Here is our Signature Drink Menu

 

 

 

 

 

 

We made Business cards on Vista Print for free that describe the Mama Juana

 

For our favors we are giving out 4X6 photos from the Destination Wedding.  We have 7 choices and each photo is in a white photo folder that reads: Carolyn and Matthew Established on February 9, 2013

 

We are making our own centerpieces this is a trial run, the final will have water and a floating candle. 

 

 

 

 

We are running a slide-show of all our pictures and will show our ceremony video during the event. 

 

I can't wait to post pictures of the event and let you guys know how it turned out. 

Signature Drink.docx

[sillafeliz]

Hehe. I'm so glad this is a Canadian tradition!! Its a big 'fundraiser' where all of your family and friends get together for a party and play games and drink and win prizes...all profits go towards your wedding! We had our three weeks ago and made a cool $3,000 (about average for our area). Every little bit helps!

Originally Posted by LKocelko 

Sorry, what is a "jack and jill?"