2013 At Home Receptions (AHR's)

[abbacaddaba]

Can anyone offer me some input??

 

We are getting married in May in Cancun with close family and friends and are looking to have the AHR at a local park/beach under a pavilion they have to rent right off the water. Unfortunately the only day i can book it is a Sunday. My future MIL is on me saying it's not right to do a Sunday because people can't drink n party because they have work the next day. I don't want it to be that kind of a party, i picture a nice relaxing day at the park with lawn games, horse shoes, volleyball etc. I don't mind if people drink but I don't picture people getting trashed, everyone needs to drive home anyway? Is it wrong of me to do this event on a Sunday? They do have Saturdays in August, however i want June so that i can get the wedding shenanigans over with by end of June. Please let me know your thoughts on this ladies Thank you!

[albellis]

I'm sure you've heard this on here before, but it's YOUR wedding, not anyone elses. If you want a relaxing day at the park on Sunday without it being a total boozefest, then that is exactly what you should do   For my AHR, I am holding it at a local golf club with dinner, drinks, iPod/jukebox music. I wanted it to be a celebration, but not with all the formal stuff of a typical wedding reception (DJ, speeches, first dances). My future MIL wanted us to do it in our backyard and ask everyone to bring a dish. That just wasn't how we pictured this reception, plus I still wanted this to feel like MY day and didn't want to worry about cleaning, cooking, and being a good host. My fiance explained that to his mother and she seemed to be ok with us doing what we wanted. Hopefully if you or your fiance explain what you want for the AHR, she will understand and not make a big deal out of it. And besides, if you try to make her happy and wait until August to hold it on a Saturday, then someone will probably complain that you waited so long to have it. I've come to realize that no matter what we/you do, someone will have something to say about it. That is why you should just do what YOU want to!

[LKocelko]

Originally Posted by abbacaddaba 

 

Can anyone offer me some input??

 

We are getting married in May in Cancun with close family and friends and are looking to have the AHR at a local park/beach under a pavilion they have to rent right off the water. Unfortunately the only day i can book it is a Sunday. My future MIL is on me saying it's not right to do a Sunday because people can't drink n party because they have work the next day. I don't want it to be that kind of a party, i picture a nice relaxing day at the park with lawn games, horse shoes, volleyball etc. I don't mind if people drink but I don't picture people getting trashed, everyone needs to drive home anyway? Is it wrong of me to do this event on a Sunday? They do have Saturdays in August, however i want June so that i can get the wedding shenanigans over with by end of June. Please let me know your thoughts on this ladies Thank you!

I second that - it's YOUR day so you should do what you want. Hopefully your FI can talk to her and help her understand, but you really don't have to explain your reasoning. Do what you want, otherwise you won't be happy. You'll never be able to please everyone with everything.

[Billandstina]

I had to think outside the box since everywhere wanted an arm and a leg as a rental fee and the whole reason we chose to have a destination wedding was being defeated! I don't really want the stress of having to plan two "weddings" so I decided to be a little untraditional and ask a friend of mine, who owns a large bar that used to have a steakhouse as part of it, if he'd consider having us cater a party in one of the rooms before the club gets busy. He shockingly said it would be fine and that he wouldn't charge us and would provide us with tables and linens! I guess all my years of drinking there has finally paid off I'm beyond thankful! We're going to have a sit down Mexican themed dinner with simple decorations then have cake (and a grooms cake since we're not forking out the mulla for one in Mexico) the dance our booties off. We're doing it on a Friday night, a week and a half after we get back, since we could keep the party private for two hours longer than on a Saturday. I'm still debating whether I want to do garters or anything there but around 10:30 the club will open up to the public and we will have reserved two booths with bottle service for those who want to party all night with us. I'm hoping it all glows along seamlessly since I honestly just want to relax after we're married in Mexico (the parentals wanted the AHR). I had planned on wearing my dress because ill never wear it again, but then my mom said something about it being tacky and bad luck??!! Has anyone heard this? The bad luck part? Maybe I'll do dinner in it and then change? I'm torn...but if bad luck's involved I don't want to cause it! Just seems ashame never to wear an expensive dress again! Lol

[albellis]

I haven't heard of it being bad luck. I'm planning to wear mine again at our AHR. Like you said, I'm never going to get a chance to wear it again, so why not?

[Peach]

Ditto. No idea about it being bad luck. I have heard about that BEFORE the wedding, but not after.
 

[Billandstina]

You girls are giving me hope

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by abbacaddaba 

 

Can anyone offer me some input??

 

We are getting married in May in Cancun with close family and friends and are looking to have the AHR at a local park/beach under a pavilion they have to rent right off the water. Unfortunately the only day i can book it is a Sunday. My future MIL is on me saying it's not right to do a Sunday because people can't drink n party because they have work the next day. I don't want it to be that kind of a party, i picture a nice relaxing day at the park with lawn games, horse shoes, volleyball etc. I don't mind if people drink but I don't picture people getting trashed, everyone needs to drive home anyway? Is it wrong of me to do this event on a Sunday? They do have Saturdays in August, however i want June so that i can get the wedding shenanigans over with by end of June. Please let me know your thoughts on this ladies Thank you!

 

Hey- We went back and forth on having an AHR at all- but it was a big deal for me since many people cannot attend our destination wedding. We ONLY looked at alternative options (Sundays, Thursdays, early in the day etc) because that's what we could afford. We ended up doing a Thursday night 8-12 cocktail party- open bar, passed hors' de oeuveurs (I hate that word I cannot spell it for the life of me) and our place threw in a pasta station, a carving station, and a table of salad, meats and cheeses. Sounds like plenty of food to me- only its not a formal sit down dinner. My sister is a baker so she will bake our cake. We weren't going to have one but she insists. We might do a candy table but most likely we will not. We plan to show a slide show of our actual wedding and then just enjoy our company. We scheduled it two weeks after our DW. We told all our friends and most of them are taking Friday off and crashing at our place (I live 15 minutes from our AHR venue). No one complained about taking the day off so your MIL is wrong- choose the day that you want that's within your budget. People will find a way. We are sending out separate AHR invites because we didn't want people to get the impression that it was a wedding and they shouldn't go to DR. We sent our wedding invites out and we are getting these super cute invites form Wedding Paper Divas for our AHr- found them in the engagement party section- because they were less formal than the wedding invites and they are less than $1- waaaahooo!

 

Originally Posted by Billandstina 

 

I had to think outside the box since everywhere wanted an arm and a leg as a rental fee and the whole reason we chose to have a destination wedding was being defeated! I don't really want the stress of having to plan two "weddings" so I decided to be a little untraditional and ask a friend of mine, who owns a large bar that used to have a steakhouse as part of it, if he'd consider having us cater a party in one of the rooms before the club gets busy. He shockingly said it would be fine and that he wouldn't charge us and would provide us with tables and linens! I guess all my years of drinking there has finally paid off I'm beyond thankful! We're going to have a sit down Mexican themed dinner with simple decorations then have cake (and a grooms cake since we're not forking out the mulla for one in Mexico) the dance our booties off. We're doing it on a Friday night, a week and a half after we get back, since we could keep the party private for two hours longer than on a Saturday. I'm still debating whether I want to do garters or anything there but around 10:30 the club will open up to the public and we will have reserved two booths with bottle service for those who want to party all night with us. I'm hoping it all glows along seamlessly since I honestly just want to relax after we're married in Mexico (the parentals wanted the AHR). I had planned on wearing my dress because ill never wear it again, but then my mom said something about it being tacky and bad luck??!! Has anyone heard this? The bad luck part? Maybe I'll do dinner in it and then change? I'm torn...but if bad luck's involved I don't want to cause it! Just seems ashame never to wear an expensive dress again! Lol

 

That's awesome- before booking our AHR I explored the option of having it at bars and restaurants. My only issue was that we had a DJ complete with a percussionist because we were initially having a wedding stateside. Our DJ was the only vendor we could not get our money back from, so we decided to make him work! 

 

I am TOTALLY wearing my dress again- why not. It cost too much to not wear twice and its fabulous lol. I will just wear it without the cathedral veil- just my headband that I ordered and I will probably leave my hair in an informal style like a beautiful bun or ponytail

[Billandstina]

Make that DJ work girl And I think you girls are convincing me to stick with my gut and wear the dress again! Lol! Are those of you having an AHR having a WC for the day of? It's not really an expense I want but at the same time the thought of spending all day decorating etc and then making sure everything is cleaned up and orchestrated correctly is exhausting to me when at that point all ill want to do is truly relax with my new husband!! Does anyone know how much a WC runs for just the day-of?

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by Billandstina 

 

Make that DJ work girl And I think you girls are convincing me to stick with my gut and wear the dress again! Lol! Are those of you having an AHR having a WC for the day of? It's not really an expense I want but at the same time the thought of spending all day decorating etc and then making sure everything is cleaned up and orchestrated correctly is exhausting to me when at that point all ill want to do is truly relax with my new husband!! Does anyone know how much a WC runs for just the day-of?

I'm not having a WC. I live 15 minutes away from the venue and they will allow us to decorate ahead of time as long as there isn't another event and its such an odd day I don't think there will be. Right next door to our AHR is a craft shop and the woman makes phenomenal and gorgeous centerpieces and decorations. My mom is really crafty and can do those things too and even she admires this woman's work. So if we ordered some things, she would just set them up. The place is giving us colored linens and at no cost allowing us to use their centerpeices. We have a choice of long glass vases with floating candles and flowers or candelabras. I will likely use the vases and rent overlays for the tables from the craft shop next door. Then she will set them up haha.

 

Save your money- unless of course you find a fabulous WC for cheap then go for it! Recruit a crafty family member or bridal party member who wants to pitch in. I will likely do it myself.