Striving for 150!!!

[uhura526]

Originally Posted by casontag 

 

 

That is sad to hear. Sorry things are going the same for you. It's definitely a tough decision, but I believe none of us will regret going threw with their wedding despite people not coming.

Does anyone here know anyone that regrets their DW?

I don't know anyone who regrets their DW lol  I have a few cousins who did them so, I am not the first in my family to do this and I probably won't be the last.  My FI's family doesn't travel however, most of them aren't invited to the wedding anyway. His mom is dragging on getting her travel documents together, having never gotten a passport before.  He is expected to pay for everything for her to come even though she can afford it and had about a year to save, her assumption is that if he wants her there, he has to pay for her to go so, he's just going to do that. 

 

It's really not about everyone else, it's about you and your FI and how you want to exchange vows.  If your family and friends want to be a part of it, that is fabulous.  If not..well, you can't be bothered.  Your job is to enjoy your lives as husband and wife and be happy. You can show them your wedding album down the line and they'll be happy for you.

[EVKnowsitall]

Originally Posted by uhura526 

 

I don't know anyone who regrets their DW lol  I have a few cousins who did them so, I am not the first in my family to do this and I probably won't be the last.  My FI's family doesn't travel however, most of them aren't invited to the wedding anyway. His mom is dragging on getting her travel documents together, having never gotten a passport before.  He is expected to pay for everything for her to come even though she can afford it and had about a year to save, her assumption is that if he wants her there, he has to pay for her to go so, he's just going to do that. 

 

It's really not about everyone else, it's about you and your FI and how you want to exchange vows.  If your family and friends want to be a part of it, that is fabulous.  If not..well, you can't be bothered.  Your job is to enjoy your lives as husband and wife and be happy. You can show them your wedding album down the line and they'll be happy for you.

 

Haha thats been my line! "Whoever doesn't come can see it in pictures" and people told me I was being obnoxious. But I agree. For this one day- we should do what is right for us. I'm not twisting anyones arm to come. Wedding always get made about everyone else. Thats why we decided destination- our wedding, our terms. As far as I'm concerned, I can show up with my groom and while I want my loved ones there, I can't stress whether or not people are coming.

 

It will all be ok. I had my little meltdown- but I'll be fine. I'm putting my foot down on this one. I always sacrifice for my family- for this- I'm not backing down.

 

Thanks for the encouraging words.

[uhura526]

Originally Posted by EVKnowsitall 

 

 

Haha thats been my line! "Whoever doesn't come can see it in pictures" and people told me I was being obnoxious. But I agree. For this one day- we should do what is right for us. I'm not twisting anyones arm to come. Wedding always get made about everyone else. Thats why we decided destination- our wedding, our terms. As far as I'm concerned, I can show up with my groom and while I want my loved ones there, I can't stress whether or not people are coming.

 

It will all be ok. I had my little meltdown- but I'll be fine. I'm putting my foot down on this one. I always sacrifice for my family- for this- I'm not backing down.

 

Thanks for the encouraging words.

well that might be obnoxious if they don't ask to see your photos and you bust out with your album like "Hey here's my wedding album!" lol  I meant down the line if they ask (and they probably will ask to see photos!)   Everyone has different family dynamics and you have to do what feels right for you in this particular case.  Good for you for not backing down on what you clearly feel is the right choice for you and your future hubby.

[imnotarunner]

why do weddings bring such "unjoyfulness" out of people?

I had a huge fight with my MOH last year then this year my mom and I had it out. They were making unreasonable demands and I already tried to accomadate because I refuse to be bridezilla like what I see on tv. It bit me in the butt. 

[amcoletta88]

i agree! Weddings either bring out the best or the worst in people....My mom hasn't spoken to me since I got engaged, even though FI and I have been together for 5 years prior to that...so much for happy times eh!
 

[MelB2012]

I'm a ways away from 150...

 

My wedding is a little over a year away, and I've already received so many complaints or requestsm or demands.... it's pretty ridiculous. I'm pretty sure it's my wedding...

 

"No" is getting easier and easier to say.

[Moments That Matter]

Congrats MelB2012! and welcome to the forum! you'll find so many great ideas and suggestions here - plus support from fellow wedding couples - which can be so helpful when there are so many directions you're pulled in this process

 

Wishing you all the best with your decision process and have an the perfect wedding you've always wanted! Enjoy the journey

[imnotarunner]

beautiful

[casontag]

Thanks ladies. I feel better already!

[pokeyholly]

I'm not sure of I will ever make the 150 mark. I'm pretty quiet. Lol. I have experienced all of these same issues, so it must just go hand in hand with destination weddings. I threw in the towel 10 months ago and we almost eloped, but my mother would literally die. It's overwhelming with everyone else's expectations. We have finally paid deposits and told our close friends and family, 20 or so people, that we are planning a vacation in key west in may and are getting married on the beach May 19th. So I'm not sure what you would call that, but I consider it eloping with an invitation. Surprisingly most are coming or supportive this time around. We will have to wait and see. So I pretty much vetoed the whole bridesmaid/ groomsmen idea. It will just be us and our, wow they will be 3 and 4 year old son and daughter. We are so excited and know in the end the ones that want to come will find a way and those that cannot will not hold it against us forever. I'm not doing all the formalities in a traditional sense, but looking at thing and how they are playing out seems like this was our way and we have to overcome some obstacles to find our path, but this was it all along! So that's my story. Congrats to all of you other may brides! I can't tell you how excited I am! I ordered my Maggie sottero Alexa gown already and it will be here in December! I am also making beaded toe jewelry for myself and all the women to wear at the ceremony. I have made 10 pair so far and they are super cute! Love everyone's DIY's here. So many creative people! I do try myself

We were originally planning on having our wedding here in Canada, but all of a sudden everyone had their opinions. We were tempted to elope as well, but my mom and grams said they have to be there so then it wouldn't really be eloping lol. We decided to say screw it and do a destination wedding because they seem so stress free. But of course, people still have their opinions especially about the cost to travel there, what time of year we chose, who can't come etc. at the end of the day, whoever wants to be there will be come. That's a great idea to just extend the invitation and let people know you're getting married there. Now that sounds stress free . Congrats on your gown! I have my first appointment this Saturday. I can't wait !!!